Last night, right before I drifted off to sleep a little voice in my head said, “Hey, Goddess. Do you know what would be really funny? If you talked about

Several months ago, I was bitching about porn vids not meeting my rigid Goddessy standards, and Tina Tyler was nice enough to send me some of her masturbation vids, called

I spent a good bit of this morning at school re-enrolling Male Offspring #2. He dropped out in the 10th grade, and no amount of talking could get him to

Hi, everyone, it’s Goddess. When South told me he was going to Tampa and he wanted me to update, I was thrilled. Then he casually mentioned that he was “upgrading”

I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE this motel! The sex is FANTASTIC!! Forget Elmo, forget the offspring, forget home, I just want to lay here and have sex vicariously through these

OMG. Last night I stayed in a Motel 6 and the couple next door were having such wild, animal sex that *I* was sweating and weak kneed by the time

Remember that song “I’m standing on the corner of Winslow, Arizona, such a fine sight to see?” A few moments ago, I’m sitting in my Hoveround on the corner of

Neal Cassidy and Jack Kerouac made being on the road seem so fun. Must have been the enormous amount of drugs and alcohol they were consuming. I did drive through

Yikes! I got super lost in Maryland yesterday. Next time I’m going to pay a grade schooler to ride with me and read the map. I drove out of my

Geez, I can hardly wait to get to South’s so I can eat all that “good” food he left for me. Celery? Celery isn’t food. It’s what I use to

BTW, I wrote a paper on Comet K in high school and I received an “A” for my efforts.(Yes, it *was* one of the few high points in my life.)

As if the hair thing wasn’t bad enough, I’m bored here in Atlanta. I spent the whole evening watching a Lingo marathon and I don‘t even understand how to play

I’m not feeling so great. I got winded last night having an orgasm. I think my left lung is starting to give out on me because of having to pull

I was planning on updating every day until South mentioned that I was “prolific.” Prolific is one of those artsy fartsy words that sounds all literary like until you find

“Goddess of Oddness”? “Goddess of Oddness”?!! By the time I leave here, South, three of your personal belongings will have been inside my cooch. Good luck figuring out which ones

I can finally write in peace. I could never understand why I let Mr. G talk me into having that thing built. Like I would want to spend anytime underground

Because Grandpa Goddess stays with us from time to time and because his heart is a tad shaky, he bought a personal defibrillator and left it here for when he

I looked forward to my journeys to the South. Now the most I can look forward to is my journey from the couch to the fridge. I always like to

Once again I’ve gotten roped into writing South’s updates for him while he gallivants all over creation fucking hot chicks. Ya know it just doesn’t seem fair. Why can’t he