Health Update:

Ok Mike I got the Sudafed. The state of New York suspected me of fowl play and took my driver’s license before they would hand it over. I asked if it was the strongest stuff they had and they said it was the strongest stuff I was gonna get. The pharmacist had red hair and red freckles and was round and positively spun up about the whole situation. I think she overheard us blaming the children for the regulation.

And I put more superglue on my nail. My roadie carries the stuff in his back pocket now.

And I promise not to get choked out anymore. I think you missed the point of the blog. Choking out was an example. It was a means to an end, the end being that Adam and Eve is wonderful. I’m not a diehard fan of auto erotica anyway. Just a little play here and there. Now that you’ve given me an anatomy lesson and fear death by stroke I’ll behave. Thanks for ruining my fun.

And I think I might have a cavity because one of my front teeth has been sensitive to cold in the last 24 hours but I’m afraid to tell you that because you’ll make me go to the dentist and that takes time and I haven’t had a cavity since I was five so my concern is still on the low end of normal and if I discuss it with you I risk being told I have gangrene and will die. Chances are you will tell me this in the middle of a very busy day when I’m ridden with deadlines and you’ll make me drop everything only to spend three hours in a doc-in-the-box and be told I’m histrionic. You said you’re only wrong once a year but the clock is dangerously close to resetting.

And I’m wondering if maybe I have thyroid issues because I’ve been on the road and I’ve been eating a lot of diner food and my trainer has needed some personal time off so I haven’t been in the gym but I haven’t gained any weight. And I’ve also been drinking a lot of diet Snapple and SoBe Lean and Aspartame has been known to kill rats. I’ve read a few conspiracy theories surrounding the FDA passing it through. If my health insurance doesn’t cancel me over frequent false alarms they might just cancel me over my lifestyle.

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Health Update:

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