I know this appeared yesterday on Buzzfeed but she also sent it to me to run, and after reading it I felt that it should be read because she has first hand experience. My policy is to not comment editorially on another authors post but there is a lot in this post that I do agree with. Read on and Thank You Lisa Ann, you are a welcome addition here.
My James Deen Story
By Lisa Ann
I met James Deen at the perfect time. It was 2005, James was a hot 19 year old, previously working as a Barista at Starbucks, before he stepped into the MILF Boom in the industry. I was making my return into the business and when you add the hot, young guy & ME the Milf , we had movie magic. James and I worked well together for years. James did all of my firsts with me, any scene I was too nervous to do with anyone else, I insisted on James. This lasted for some really good years, but like normal sexual relations, on or off set we grew apart. As I got older and more comfortable with my sexuality, I desired softer more intimate sex, and as you all know, that’s not the norm in porn. It was a battle for me to not have directors try to push me or convince my male talent to do things to me that I did not want done. James would never do that to me, I always had his trust.
Then came the time when we had too much sex. On and off camera and well we lost our sexual chemistry, we bickered a bit on set over our sexual style and what I later realized was this. Male performers shooting 20-25 sex scenes a month deal with way more variables that the girl, like me, who was shooting 5 days a month and always picking my co-stars. The male performers often have to work with girls they are not into, or vice versa. When James and I did our last scene together, it was clear to me that our spark was gone and we had grown in a different sexual direction. He did like more aggressive sex than I did, that’s a fact, BUT SO DOES THE WORLD.
When I told James NO- that meant no, we never had an issue. But no girl wants to be complaining during sex, that’s no fun and not hot for the viewer. James was on his own sexual journey and it was clear to see, the same companies that are now claiming to turn their back on him after these internet allegations, were the same companies hiring him to shoot these style scenes, day after day after day.
This new sexual climate in porn is a lot more aggressive, with a lot less intimacy. Go find some movies from the 90z and watch the sex. That’s just more my style. This does not mean either style is wrong or right, the beauty of sex it is your choice how you share it.
When James and I did our last scene together nothing changed for us. He was never aggressive to me; he never forced me to do anything or tried to change my mind. He would never have disagreed with my needs, wants or my sexual style in general. We just grew apart, but remained friends and I would always like to see him at events. See what you may not know about James, he has a great sense of humor. One of the many draws that keep him working all the time. He is fun to be on set with, cracks jokes with the crew all day and keeps things really lite! I love that. Good sex and laughter at work, come on.. Who doesn’t want that?
When I was producing for my own company James and I still didn’t work together, why am I telling you this, here is why- I made a choice, I surveyed the situation, I evaluated and when it no longer fit with me, I made a change. That was my choice; it was also the choice of the product I wanted to release. My brand, my style, no slight on James. So, you can do your homework and see yeah, I saw what was happening, BUT I also know what I know. James was and is always getting enough sex, scenes and work. In my opinion he doesn’t need to force himself on anyone, nor would he want to. As you see, he never once tried to push me to work with him again. It was understood, respectfully.
Flash forward to now. Over the Thanksgiving Holiday I notice James Deen’s X Girlfriend has posted some tweets that accuse him of something really severe. In a matter of hours I am getting hit up by news wires to interview, quickly after that 2 other girls in the industry we making the same statements. This took off and my mind was blown. Now this is real, from a couple of tweets, with no police reports or charges pressed, this is now on the news in the news and everyone is talking about it. How can this be? No one has real facts, where we live in a country where we are innocent till proven guilty, how is James Deen being shunned by the world over some tweets. Just tweets. No paperwork, no police reports, no action taken.
What came clear to me was Twitter war.. I lived though one, it was brutal, and it still surfaces from time to time. It invaded every space I have, mentally, physically, with family, friends. It was the fastest growing, most toxic virus I have ever seen in my life. We have gone so far as to actually believe tweets from strangers. With no real fact checking, no back-story on relationships with the people involved. Scorn people now use the Internet & social media as their weapon to hurt others. Sadly it works. It hurts people, ruins lives, and affects their families and their futures. I hope that in the future we can put some laws in place that can protect us online. This level of public shame is so unacceptable. What is worse, living in the darkness. I spent the weekend thinking about how James must feel , what his family is going through and how alone he feels in the industry at this time.
My twitter war inspired me to completely disconnect from the industry. I was planning on still producing and directing movies as well as helping young talent getting into the industry. My production company alone fed a good 25K a month into the industry in production costs, hiring talent, camera crew, editors, make up artists, locations etc. That was my solid contribution and that could have continued.
That all changed when I stood up on that stage this February at the XBiz Award show to present an award, I was heckled, and told I was an old cunt and no one wanted me in the industry anymore. That night erased my 24 plus years in the industry. I spent days online reading hateful tweets from talent, producers and people I knew for years, never had a beef with, they just jumped on the hate bandwagon. It was dark. Of all that I have been through, it was the darkest, most painful time of my life.
February was not that long ago and I still deal with remnants of the harassment, the occasional death threat, indirect but direct tweets. The sense of pride others feel trying to ruin some ones life on social media concerns me on every level, so I decided to reach out to James Deen and see where his head is at. How he is feeling, what he is being told his legal option are etc. His reality is similar to what mine was. Out of pain we will fight, we will burn through an incredible amount of money and time with court, the problem is the reality that the tone never goes away. This message will still be out there about James. He will always be judged, shamed and now in a business he was successful in since 2004, the reality is he being pushed out by some tweets, that simple, some tweets- sounds absurd right?
My point here is this- We are all innocent till proven guilty. No one can be legally proven guilty from tweets, yet theses tweets have made him guilty in the eye of society. It is sad to see someone I have known for 10 years going through something like this. I may have more empathy because of my recent situation, but please have some compassion everyone. If you don’t have compassion, ok have some common sense. Defamation of character is a punishable act. So everyone out there running with this story should be a little fearful out the out come for them.
This is now just another concern with trust, friendships go wrong and twitter wars start, relationships end and accusations are posted online. Is this a risk we all want to take? Without facts to back up these statements, we can’t just assume. Is this the next level break up? The new norm? Not if we don’t let it, but it is up to every individual.
I was not present and I do not know what happened in any of these situations posted online. I am merely playing devils advocate here, telling my story and hoping to just give another perspective to those of you out there aware of this story and not quite sure what to make of it. I am not trying to get involved, but at the same time, when everyone turned on me, it was dark & lonely and I don’t wish that on anyone.