Urbandictionary.com is one of the internet’s greatest destinations. It’s also slightly addictive.
The “slang” dictionary website started in 1999 and has more than 7 million “definitions” with at least 50% centering around sex.
This is one of those go-to sites when you want to procrastinate and you don’t feel like masturbating.
I know of a few hundred good ones, but here is a small sample of some of my favorites:
1. URBANDICTIONARY.COM – A place on the internet where people of all ages, races, religions, colors, habits, musical preferences, nationalities, political views, genders, and sexual orientations can come together to insult each other’s ages, races, religions, colors, habits, musical preferences, nationalities, political views, genders, and sexual orientations.
2. SEX – What kind of moron are you that you have to look up sex in the urban dictionary?
3. PORN – The reason you need a new hard drive.
4. TWEETHOLE – A person who uses Twitter way too much, thinks it’s the best thing in the world and fills up your queue with crap. They tweet about what they’re eating, when they take a shit, and other banal, boring and otherwise vapid drivel.
5. PENIS – One of two things men keep after a divorce.
6. BLOWJOB – The best five minutes of silence a married man can ask for.
7. LOVE – Nature’s way of tricking people into reproducing.
8. ORGASM – The meaning of life.
9. PREMATURE EVACUATION – Getting caught while sneaking away after a one night stand.
10. POPE – A holy dude with a cool hat and bullet-proof golf cart.
11. DOUCHEBAG – Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker.
12. HIPSTER – Definitions are too mainstream.
13. PLEASE ADVISE – Corporate Jargon for “What The Fuck.”
14. YOLO – “carpe diem” for stupid people.
15. DATING – Socially acceptable form of prostitution.
16. RELATIONSHIP – The Ability to put up with Someone else’s Bullshit, usually of the opposite sex, for a long period of time.
17. HO – A word Santa Clause says three times when he sees your wife, mother and sister together in the same room.
18. SUPERMAN – When you are mad at your girl for not having sex with you. So, when she falls asleep you masturbate and cum on her back. After that, stick the bed sheet on to her back and when she wakes up it’s stuck to the cum and she has a cape like Superman!!!
19. SPIDERMAN – When a girl is giving a guy head and right before he cums into her mouth, he pushes her away and comes into his hand, then throws it at the girls face and says “SPIDERMAN!”
20. SWAG – The most used word in the whole fucking universe. Douchebags use it, your kids use it, your mail man uses it and your fucking dog uses it. If you got swag, you generally wear those shitty hats side way with your ass hanging out like a fucking goof cause your pants are half way down your white ass legs. To break down the word, it means (Secretly We Are Gay). It is also a word that means to represent yourself/the way you represent yourself, baggy clothes, shitty hats, small penis and basically a way to say you’re afraid to come out of the closet.
Feel free to share any of your favorites too!