Fun with Lacey and the Urban Dictionary!

Urbandictionary.com is one of the internet’s greatest destinations. It’s also slightly addictive.
The “slang” dictionary website started in 1999 and has more than 7 million “definitions” with at least 50% centering around sex.
This is one of those go-to sites when you want to procrastinate and you don’t feel like masturbating.
I know of a few hundred good ones, but here is a small sample of some of my favorites:

1. URBANDICTIONARY.COM – A place on the internet where people of all ages, races, religions, colors, habits, musical preferences, nationalities, political views, genders, and sexual orientations can come together to insult each other’s ages, races, religions, colors, habits, musical preferences, nationalities, political views, genders, and sexual orientations.

2. SEX – What kind of moron are you that you have to look up sex in the urban dictionary?

3. PORN – The reason you need a new hard drive.

4. TWEETHOLE – A person who uses Twitter way too much, thinks it’s the best thing in the world and fills up your queue with crap. They tweet about what they’re eating, when they take a shit, and other banal, boring and otherwise vapid drivel.

5. PENIS – One of two things men keep after a divorce.

6. BLOWJOB – The best five minutes of silence a married man can ask for.

7. LOVE – Nature’s way of tricking people into reproducing.

8. ORGASM – The meaning of life.

9. PREMATURE EVACUATION – Getting caught while sneaking away after a one night stand.

10. POPE – A holy dude with a cool hat and bullet-proof golf cart.

11. DOUCHEBAG – Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker.

12. HIPSTER – Definitions are too mainstream.

13. PLEASE ADVISE – Corporate Jargon for โ€œWhat The Fuck.โ€

14. YOLO – “carpe diem” for stupid people.

15. DATING – Socially acceptable form of prostitution.

16. RELATIONSHIP – The Ability to put up with Someone elseโ€™s Bullshit, usually of the opposite sex, for a long period of time.

17. HO – A word Santa Clause says three times when he sees your wife, mother and sister together in the same room.

18. SUPERMAN – When you are mad at your girl for not having sex with you. So, when she falls asleep you masturbate and cum on her back. After that, stick the bed sheet on to her back and when she wakes up it’s stuck to the cum and she has a cape like Superman!!!

19. SPIDERMAN – When a girl is giving a guy head and right before he cums into her mouth, he pushes her away and comes into his hand, then throws it at the girls face and says “SPIDERMAN!”

20. SWAG – The most used word in the whole fucking universe. Douchebags use it, your kids use it, your mail man uses it and your fucking dog uses it. If you got swag, you generally wear those shitty hats side way with your ass hanging out like a fucking goof cause your pants are half way down your white ass legs. To break down the word, it means (Secretly We Are Gay). It is also a word that means to represent yourself/the way you represent yourself, baggy clothes, shitty hats, small penis and basically a way to say youโ€™re afraid to come out of the closet.

Feel free to share any of your favorites too!
Lacey xoxo

22 Replies to “Fun with Lacey and the Urban Dictionary!”

  1. Hunter

    Thanks for the idea, Lacey! I’m going to try #19 with the wife, (once again, in the name of science). Maybe I should set up a camera to record my the results.

  2. MikeSouth

    wife
    1. The Good Part – The woman you marry and live with for the rest of your life.

    2. The Bad Part – The woman you marry and live with for the rest of your life.
    My wife’s an angel!
    You’re lucky. Mine’s still alive.

  3. Lacey Blake

    @jilted –
    Haha… I had never looked up escort, but here’s a more detailed definition:

    Escort – A person that is pretty much a prostitute. But, doesn’t describe themselves in that matter and calls themselves classy except they are pretty much doing the same thing like the hookers on the street you see. They go to men with more money and in higher class.
    “I don’t think what I’m doing is illegal. I’m not cheap like some of the women you see on the streets. I’m just an escort to men.”
    “Umm hun, you are doing what those other whores are doing which is selling your body. You are just doing it to men with more money and mostly that are married.”

  4. Lacey Blake

    @Mike –
    :-D. This one reminded me of this:

    SEX –
    This meaning varies for which side of the sex you are on.
    Woman: To make sweet passionate love to your soul mate. Elevating each other’s bodily experiences to a new level.
    Man: What to do when your not watching sports.

  5. MikeSouth

    i know…ya know i knew about urban dictionary…used it ages ago to look up rule 34 i never thought about it for amusement…thanks for the time suck : /

  6. Hunter

    I’m surprised you guys overlooked the obvious …

    Porn Star:
    A whore with a camera
    mike: “sally fucked that guy for 10 dollars”
    bob: “wow, what a whore”
    mike: “yea, and they filmed it”
    bob: “oh then in that case she’s a porn star”

  7. Hunter

    Mike, Lacy … After I pull that Spiderman on Lady H., I’m showing her Mike’s “wife” comments. That’ll get the heat off me. Then, I’ll be sure and remind her of it next time we’re stuck together on a road trip or in a hotel room .. *grin*

  8. Lacey Blake

    Did you know the courts are now allowing urban dictionary definitions to be used in trials?
    The first time I found urban dictionary was when someone asked if I wanted a “molly” and I had no idea what it was so I googled it to not look like an asshole. (A “molly” is a pure form of ecstacy. )
    I told you it was addicting. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  9. mharris127

    I learned what “molly” meant when it came out that Miley “Sluttiest Singer” Cyrus used it in a song. Star Magazine’s editor dutifully looked the word up and found out that it meant the drug Ecstasy. Boys and girls, please stay at least a mile from anyone selling or using Ecstasy, Roofies, Heroin, Cocaine or any other hard illegal drug for non-medicinal purposes.

    At least Amanda Bynes’ parents cared enough to get control of her affairs and get her into treatment for her bipolar I. Miley is not so lucky, her parents are so dumb that they think bipolar disorder is what they called the Rodney King riots so she will unfortunately keep going further into manias and depressions (which the drugs will make even worse) until she kills herself and maybe a few others with her. Miley’s erratic behavior tells me that she is currently in a highly manic state and one wrong neuron firing from Hell.

  10. Lacey Blake

    @mharris127 –
    I STILL don’t get the whole Amanda Bynes situation? Wtf happened to that girl? Are they saying JUST Bi-Polar? If so, that has to be an extreme case?

  11. mharris127

    Lacey, I can say from personal experience that bipolar mania does cause Amanda Bynes type behavior. Most of us aren’t as fortunate as Amanda and myself to have either millions of dollars or great insurance to pay for the best treatment. Thankfully there is medication nowadays to control bipolar disorder for most people with it. Unfortunately lack of insight into having the condition is part of it — so most people go into a cycle of taking medication for a few months, stopping the medication, ending up in the hospital again, going back on medication, then repeating the cycle until insight is gained. Luckily in my case I gained insight early in the game so my bipolar has been under control for many years. I wish Amanda the best and hope she gains insight into her mental illness and takes her medication so she doesn’t become acutely psychotic again. I also hope she isn’t treatment-resistant so a medication regimen works for her.

    Now let’s get back to the subject of Mike’s post. Here are a couple of alternate definitions:

    POPE: Old guy in white cape and hat with lots of ten year old boys following him around in case he gets horny.

    CHECKBOOK:

  12. mharris127

    Sorry, my computer hiccuped and posted early. Here is the rest of my post:

    CHECKBOOK: What a man doesn’t keep in case of divorce.

    VENEREAL DISEASE: What a porn chick gets every other week or when she fucks on a John Stagliano “Stretch Class” set.

    VD TEST: What Dr. Miao gives to most porn chicks every 14 days, if the chick is lucky for the price of a blow job, otherwise $200.

  13. Lacey Blake

    I, too, have been diagnosed as bipolar. Although, I’ve never had a crazy manic episode. My bipolar goes from slightly manic to deep depression.
    But, like you, I take my meds. religiously (actually all fucking 3 of them) and it definitely helps. Although, I’ve been on these meds. for 4 years now and my dr. STILL adjusts my meds. on a regular basis. While meds. do help any “brain disease” it’s still a pain in the ass and a constant struggle. ๐Ÿ™

  14. Hunter

    This site is so educational. I swear, before today I thought bipolar was a sexually “flexible” ursid found primarily in the arctic circle.

  15. mharris127

    Lacey, there are two types of bipolar disorder. What it sounds like you may have is type II in which the main symptom is depression with not much mania and no psychosis. What I have is called type I which has the psychosis (can happen with both mania and depression), fly-high manias and deep depressions. Fortunately mine is under control enough so that I can live a relatively normal life and my medication regimen for bipolar has been stable for years now. I can tell when I am starting an episode and have instructions from my doctor to double one of the medications for a few days and it goes right back to (relatively) normal within 1-2 days. One of the medications is sedative in nature so I do sleep 13-15 hours a day many days (luckily for me I am retired so work isn’t a concern, with those hours you can forget about a full-time job unless it is of the university professor variety where you can go in your office and nap between lectures ๐Ÿ™‚ ) but I would rather sleep longer than be manic or depressed. As you can see it hasn’t affected my sense of humor or my ability to type coherently.

    Hang in there, Lacey. It does get better. I will give you one piece of advice, though. From your posts here I get the impression that you consume alcohol on occasion. Unfortunately alcohol can affect bipolar disorder negatively and cause symptoms to return. I quit drinking in 2006 (seven years now, if I were in AA I would probably get a colored poker chip from what I hear) and found that my mental status was much more normal when I didn’t drink than when I did. At least the medications are helping and you have a way to get them (until recently one of my bipolar meds was $2600 plus every 90 days and the other one was almost $300 with pain, asthma and heart meds costing another $1000 or so, thankfully I have insurance from my retirement).

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