Top Ten Mister Marcus Defense Strategies

10.  The bartender told me I wasn’t drunk anymore

9.    I thought I faked the breathalyzer test

8.   That was a false positive from when I was drunk last week

7.   Lexington Steele told me breathalyzers are racist

6.  Its embarrassing but not as embarrassing as the fact I drive a Hyundai

5.  I wasn’t driving it was a little blonde white girl named Karma and she got out and disappeared

4.  AHF set me up

3.  It’ll all be ok the FSC is handling my defense

2.  The APHSS Test said I wasn’t drunk

1.  It’s all a ploy by Steven Hirsch at Vivid to get more PR for my comeback video



75450cookie-checkTop Ten Mister Marcus Defense Strategies

Top Ten Mister Marcus Defense Strategies

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18 Responses

  1. That is some of the stupidest shit I ever read. You could have at least been funnier. I’m disasppointed, I was expecting some good ones. Mikey you need help in the humor dept. All these low blows you give, your definitely in the wrong business.
    10. I thought renting a Hyundai would let me roll lowkey and give me great gas mileage, not a dewey.

  2. I got one. Mr. Marcus was weaving all over the road because his girlfriend of the day was blowing his dick while he was driving. She had a felony warrant for prostitution so she ran as soon as he was pulled over by the cops. Of course Mr. Syphilis had a few 40 oz. malt liquor drinks before driving so he blew a Colt .45 on the breathalyzer.

  3. Yeah. Too bad Mr. Marcus’s wrists wouldn’t fit in the handcuffs. If they would have the cop would have made sure to beat and sodomized him with a nightstick while he was handcuffed before taking him to jail. 🙂

  4. OK, off topic, but I can’t help asking. I recently discovered Streammate. Is it just me, or does it seem like porn stars lead pretty dreary and unglamourous lives? Porn is always shot in these gorgeous homes with beautiful backdrops. Then, you see the gals camming in their home environs. The furniture is shabby. The decorations look like they came from Target. And, they’re all pleading like used car or informercial salesmen to get you to tip. A gal like Devon, who has only done a handful of anal scenes promises to pound her butt with a toy in her gold show. Its just dreary.

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