Today’s Lesson: Don’t judge a SLUT by her cover

I have to tell you about my weekend.  But to properly tell you the story I need to go back in time a few months to the first night I walked into 2001 Odyssey in Tampa, Florida.  For those of you that live in Tampa, or have ever visited Tampa, you know the place.  If you have never been to Tampa, what’s keeping you?  Anyway, so I went into the club one Saturday night after I moved here.  To make a really long story MUCH shorter (trust me, you’ll thank me) I will fast-forward a bit.  I met Delilah Strong, porn mega-star and multiple AVN award-winner my first day.  You know Delilah, Mike knows her.  She is a veteran of over 500 movies and has many box covers to her credit.  She is one luscious piece of Sicilian-Puerto-Rican ass.  Delilah is a member of the “Kennedy Family” of the porn world.  Her mother was Deborah Coxx who performed in the 80’s, her sister is Samantha Strong (and yes they have appeared together before) and her cousin is Courtney Cummz.  That is a regular familial porn dynasty!  She has won “Best Three-way Sex Scene” and the coveted “Dirtiest Girl in Porn” at the AVNs.  She has taken on more cocks at once than I can only dream of, but I am hoping to reach her status soon.  Nevertheless, Delilah is an incredibly cool chick.  How can you NOT like a hottie who says in an AVN interview: “…I’ve always been a slut..I’ve always been promiscuous, I did my first gang-bang at 15 with five friends from school..”  That statement left me with two questions in my mind:  1.  why did I wait so long?  2.  where were these guys in my high school?  But I digress… so I met Delilah and have worked with her now for about two months.  She, unlike many big contract porn girls, is a “clean and honest” chick on the stripper-feature circuit.  She isn’t escorting, she doesn’t meet customers outside the club, and when a guy wants a “dance” in a VIP room that entails some hand and/or mouth-on-genital contact to make a tip, she politely tells the guy, as do I, that although it’s a “flattering offer” we must politely decline.  I don’t know what it is but guys come in and think because you do porn that you will just drop to your knees and suck any crustacean-laden, herpes-infested excuse for a cock for a $50 tip.  As if it’s an honor, as if the fact that they have seen us naked and sucking and fucking on video means that we would do it for them also just because they came in to see us.  I get so tired trying to explain to guys what the “real world” of porn is like.  Most of them seem gobsmacked when they hear that we go through a rigorous (at least on the East Coast) testing regimen in order to protect our health, and the health of our co-stars.  But I digress,  AGAIN.

So Saturday Delilah and me, along with our families, went to Fort DeSoto beach in St. Pete.  We had a great time cooking out burgers and dogs…I ate a salad….NOT…and then went back to her beautiful home and hung out with her and her husband.  When we were getting ready to leave Saturday night she invited us back to her house the next day for Easter Dinner (a fact that was especially ironic considering her husband is Jewish).  Sunday dinner was great, Delilah is an excellent cook in case you were wondering.  As we were driving home Sunday night we AGAIN came to the conclusion that porn people are the coolest people.

With ONE exception, my albeit brief, so far, porn career has blessed me with the opportunity to meet some of the most real, honest, genuine, and “comfortable-in-their-own-skin” people that I have EVER met in my entire life.  Starting with Mike South, and going right on down the line, the people that I have been fortunate enough to meet and/or interact with in this business have all positively effected my life in one way or another.  When I first met Mike at that Mexican restaurant in Atlanta he was very methodical, very careful in his explanations of everything, taking heed to lay out the pros and cons of EVERYTHING.  That was not what I expected, not that I had any pre-conceived notions of what MIKE was going to be like, per-se, but I was expecting a pornographer to be sleazy, creepy, perverted and all about trying to get in my pants.  Ummm..I meant…oh…hmmm..OK, so Mike IS like that, but at least he’s honest about it.  But seriously, I have formed what I think is a great friendship with Mike, and not to speak for him, but if we were to never see each other again in person, or if I was to just leave the industry tomorrow, I’d like to think that Mike and me would remain friends for the rest of our lives regardless.  Meeting Delilah reaffirmed my belief that porn people, at least those that appear in front of the camera, are some very substantive people, at least in my opinion.

My first girl-girl scene was with former Sin-City contract girl Karina Sinclair, another friend of Mike.  What a DOLL-BABY she is!  OMG, she was so awesome and went out of her way to open her home to us to shoot and at the end of a long 8 hour day I wasn’t ready for it to end!  I felt like I had known her all my life.  And DAMN can she eat a pussy!  And she tastes SO good too.  Next I met Felicia Fox and her hubby Tim.  Felicia also is another bona-fide “porn star” with numerous titles, box covers and AVNs to her credit.  Fifi, Tim and all the gang at Flamingo Showclub in Dayton, Ohio were extremely gracious to me, sure I was there with Mike, but I realized they were nice to me DESPITE Mike, which for me told me they were real people…lol.  BTW, Fifi, when are you coming out of retirement for me?  I can, and have, already imagined how sweet you taste.  I have been invited into the homes of so many great people, not because they want to shoot scenes with me but because they wanted to hang out and be “real people” in our off time.  We weren’t being Felicia Fox, Delilah Strong or Lindsey Lovehands, we were just people that enjoyed each other’s company….while getting drunk.  I have met Ron Jeremy, and with the exception of him trying to perform a drive-by-fingering of me on the floor of Exxxotica Miami last year, he too was very real, real hairy…I’m sorry I couldn’t resist.  Seriously though, he was nice, talked to us for quite awhile, and for some unexplained reason, he too had nice things to say about Mike South…go figure.  He gave me his cell number (yeah, he wanted to fuck, but he’s Ron Jeremy after all) and we have spoken several times since.  But he was very honest and educational about the biz, telling me, as Mike has, who to work with and who to steer clear of.  Paul Allen and his wife from NightMoves Magazine, another awesome porn “power couple” who have been kind, helpful and considerate.  Julie Meadows, although I heave never met her in person, has spoken to me on the phone many times and has been very encouraging and informative.  And have you read her prose?  OMG….how many Phi Beta Cappa members of the porn community are there?  (BTW, Julie get my number from Mike again please because I had to replace my cell and your number was saved to the phone book but not the SIM card so it’s gone).  I am still waiting to be interviewed Julie…hint, hint, HINT! 

I know there are many people IN the industry, who read this blog and are saying to themselves…WTF is this broad talking about?  Porn is replete with scumbags and weirdos, deadbeats and criminals.   Every porn chick is a junky-whore who tricks on the side.  They have to get coked-up just to take on three guys at once.  I for one, consider that a privilege, not a right…the three guys I mean.  I am also sure there are many people who read this blog who are NOT in the industry, but as fans, they too have their own preconceived notions about porn and the people that perform and work in it.  Now please don’t think I am being Pollyanna about our industry.  I know that there are TONS of scummy agents, producers, directors, camera men, gaffers, videographers, lighting guys, sound techs, equipment techs, photographers, event planners, wannabees of all of the aforementioned jobs, etc. that live, lurk and breed in porn, especially in LA.  In a scene reminiscent of a black-ops rendition from the mind of Tom Clancy, “producers” can’t wait to snatch-and-grab the newest crop of just-turned-18 year-olds out of the Greyhound bus station.  Every hopeful Steve Hirsch wants to tell this nubile 18 year old girl from Bentonville, Arkansas that if she just trusts him, and checks for termites under his desk, she will be on her way to “Jenna-Dom” faster than she can say “double-anal gaping in a 12 -man gang-bang”.  How many “photographers” tell her that they “go back to the sandbox” with the director of casting, and if she just sucks the photographer’s cock, along with the cocks of his three “best friends”, she is GUARANTEED the part, and the box cover?  Can this agent REALLY get you $1200.00 a scene for BG?  I don’t know, but what I DO know is he can’t get you ANY jobs while your tongue is buried in his ass, that’s for sure.  Bottom line…there are crooks, thieves and ne’er-do-wells in ALL walks of life.  If you don’t believe that, just take a look at Washington,D.C.  Does porn experience a higher percentage of these scumbags gravitating towards the industry than say, corporate America?  I don’t know.  On the scales of justice, whom do you think would tip the scales more, equivocating “weight” with “badness”?  Bernie Madoff OR Max Hardcore? 

I was on the beach two weeks ago with some non-industry friends and the subject of Sandra Bullock and Jesse James came up.  One of the acquaintances of our friend, who did not know I was Lindsey Lovehands, but had, prior to this point, engaged me in a lengthy and friendly conversation, said: ” well I don’t know what she (Sandra Bullock) expected, he was married to that “porn star” (said with upturned eyes and squinted-up nose as if she had just smelled 100 pounds of fish that had been left out in the sun for a week) with all those tattoos…my God, so DISGUSTING”.  I smiled and looked at the ONE friend there who DID know I was Lindsey Lovehands, and with a knowing wink to him said: “you know you never know what goes on in people’s relationships, what kind of people they REALLY are, you really can’t judge a book by it’s cover”.  This person of course had no real reply to me, but instead she again made with the gesticulations of a self-righteous know-it-all who had NO idea that me, the woman who had just previously given her the BEST recipe for braised rack of lamb that either she or Julia Child has ever known, has also sucked off 16 guys and let them pop on her face.  Imagine that.

Now I could postulate (oohhh, BIG word for such a little porn slut huh?) as to why I feel porn people are more real and genuine.  Maybe it is because to have sex in front of others, and on film, is not a profession to be chosen lightly, and one’s very “willingness” to do so unabashedly, is in itself, a demonstrable example of your “freer” thinking.  When you are willing to shed ALL your clothes, inhibitions, and privacy, on film for posterity, you have already decided “hey, I want to live my life my way, I’m hot, and I am WHO I AM”.  Maybe that leads to more introspective, and consequently, “real” behavior in your every-day dealings with people.  I do not know.  On the other hand, I do know that if I had entered this business when I originally wanted to at age 18, I would have probably been chewed up and spit out, penniless I might add, by age 22 (which incidentally, is why I believe that the age to enter porn needs to be raised to 21 because an 18 year old, with rare exceptions, is ill-equipped to fully comprehend ALL the facets of what they are getting into, not only socially but from a business/financial aspect as well).  But I do know meeting and socializing with people like Delilah, Mike, Fifi, and Karina has DEFINATELY enriched MY life.

I just want to leave you with this final thought….the old adage is right…don’t judge a slut by her cover.