In case you don’t read the next line- I didn’t write this.

I didn’t write this either but Mike got on my case for not posting and I have to get back to my homework… he thinks there’s something wrong with me because I’m not reading as much but if he counted the ten times I’ve read pg. 324 today he’d eat his words…. and if you think I agree with this line by line the answer is absolutely not. But it’s funny.

Divorce agreement:

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the
late 1950’s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me
realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many
years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship
has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will
not ever agree on what is right so let’s just end it on friendly terms.
We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own
way. Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each
taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two
sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be
relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide
other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. We
don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to
the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take
our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah,
Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell (You are, however, responsible for
finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We’ll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys,
hippies and illegal aliens. We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms,
greedy CEO’s and rednecks. We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and
Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to
invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and
war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault,
we’ll help provide them security.

We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U. N.
but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We’ll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can
take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We’ll
keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I’m sure
you’ll be happy to substitute Imagine, I’d Like to Teach the World to
Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We’ll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty
your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history,
our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded
liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit
delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you ANWAR which one
of us will need whose help in 15 years.


John J. Wall Law Student and an American

P. S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.

25980cookie-checkIn case you don’t read the next line- I didn’t write this.

In case you don’t read the next line- I didn’t write this.

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9 Responses

  1. I suppose your reaction to this means that you’re not familiar with the fate of Poland during World War II? You, of all people, really should be.

  2. I wouldn’t want to be in either one of those collective “we” I have a better Idea, how just the people who love freedom toss both those collective “we” out on their sorry fucking asses.

    Can I get just ONE politician who doesn’t want to put his hand in my pocket and his nose in my business…personal or private.

    Can I get just ONE politician with enough sense and honesty to end “The war on drugs” and take the high profits out of it so Mexicans can go back to installing roofs instead of selling drugs.

    I better stop here before this turns into one long ass rant.

  3. Let me get this right Kayden…I get on your case for not writing so you determine that means that what I meant was you can post something someone else wrote (and not very well I might add)

    Now give twitter a rest and write like ya mean it

  4. i think it would be kinda interesting to see two Americas. without slavery i have no real basis to object with certain states seceding. it’ll be a wonderful experiment.

  5. but i agree with mike this post is lame. this is something mike could get away with cus he posts regularly so most regulars would probably give him a pass.

  6. lol. i simply meant to imply that this is your blog and you can post whatever you like. the god’s honest truth is that i was googling around kayden kross and her homeowner crisis one day and somehow ended up on your website. but this site is so much more and i’ve been a regular reader since. but i guess i share your frustration. i’ve read elsewhere of kk’s writings but it seems lately she’s been so busy that she’s resorted to cutting and pasting. maybe she’ll write again when she finishes getting edumacated.

    or maybe i should just sign up for her F*CKING TWITTER account!!

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