If you’re going to do it, do it right.

I think mainstream reporting needs to stick with mainstream style. And I’m not just saying this because gonzo debunked one of their weird claims. I’m saying it because they’re just really bad at dirty puns. It doesn’t sound natural coming from them. When I read in porn write ups that I sucked and fucked my way all the way to butt fucking Egypt I don’t mind if they’re talking about my tits or my twat or whatever the focus is. I want them to talk about it. I want them to plaster it up on a billboard with bright flashing Christmas lights and a machine that spews confetti everywhere and some cymbals. It doesn’t matter how crude they get because it still flows. It doesn’t sound forced. When mainstream talks about me I think its just less of an embarrassment for all involved if they stick with the… uh… story.

Not that mainstream anything has paid much attention to me, but I’ve seen three articles where my name came up and two were slightly disappointing. The first, reporting on the tax proposal on the industry, described me as “blond and stacked.” Ok, I get it. Very rarely can they go there and, being a pornstar, I gave them a drop of water in the desert. When is the next time they will be able to seriously report on the state of someone’s secondary sexual characteristics in an article about legislation? Probably not until another pornstar comes along. But it just sounds so unoriginal. So trite. So transparently an attempt to either completely discredit me by pairing boobs and blond hair or an attempt to dabble on the dark side. They probably went home feeling very naughty that night. They probably fucked their wives in non biblical positions.

The next was worse. SN&R ran two articles on the poetry reading I did. The first was before the reading and the second was after. The second one titled the article “Inside Kayden Kross.” Not bad. Smooth pun if I do say so myself. But the one before it somehow worked in this line: “I have to have a little doggy every time,” she once said.

They’re right. I did once say that… in a BTS interview asking what positions I prefer for scenes on one of my first few sets. But this article was not talking about me getting fucked from behind, it was talking about how much I love horses and dogs and various other four legged fuzzy things. It was such an incredibly jerky transition that I had to reread it a few times to make sure I was seeing it correctly. Then I felt like an idiot because I’m afraid people are going to think I really call my dog a doggy. I do not call my dog a doggy.


Just because I realized I never post any pictures– here’s my dog.

21970cookie-checkIf you’re going to do it, do it right.

If you’re going to do it, do it right.

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