I haven’t been in “the industry” as I’ve come to know it for any significant stretch of time, but prior to doing hardcore videos I was a stripper, so technically I have been in the adult industry since I was 18 and I feel like I have something to stand on when I talk about my experiences in the industry. In the club I worked in, prostitution was absolutely abhorred. Being accused of hooking was like being called a witch in Salem. The girls didn’t like it because it made lap dances much harder to sell, the club owners didn’t like it because it could cause legal trouble and they wouldn’t even get a cut of the money made (and they ended up making less money from lap dances), the bouncers didn’t like because they didn’t get tipped on it. Nevertheless, stupid men still continued to proposition us at every shift for sex. Some girls politely turned it down hoping they could still squeeze some money out of the guy. When it happened to me, I got angry.
I just couldn’t stand the assumption that I would fuck the fat-walrus-looking man for $300 in the back. Thats all. I don’t personally have a problem with the transaction made between a hooker and a john. I think it should be legal. There is one way to solve the CA budget deficit. Tax hookers. We’ll run Nevada out of business. But when a disgusting dude asks me if he can stick his nubby little penis somewhere in me, he’s only asking because he assumes there is a chance. I don’t like it when its assumed that I’m a hooker.
Granted, it happened much more frequently at the strip club than it does now that I’m in porn (probably because they could ask in person at the strip club, now they have to email me to talk to me), but the propositions still come with more reliable regularity than my period. At least once a week I will get an email through myspace outright asking if I “do privates”, and almost daily I get the more subtle emails that are just feeling it out before they blatantly ask. Recently, one got by me and landed in my personal email account (which is even more annoying than the myspace ones).
I had given the guy my email address because he was a photographer and wanted to do a shoot, or he had a clothing line he wanted me to model for…. or something. I’m not sure which one he was but there were a few people at adultcon I gave my email address to for one seemingly legitimate reason or another.
So the asshole sends me an email about setting up the shoot. We go back and forth on possible dates. He asks my rate, I give him the half day rate and the whole for the type of solo girl modeling he wants me to do. Then he writes back “…. well I only wanted to book you for an hour, how much do you charge for an hour?”
And I wrote back “I’ve never had an hour long booking. Thats not even enough time for make-up. Exactly what kind of shoot are you trying to book?”
and he said: “1000 roses for a private”
and I said: “go fuck yourself”
and he said: “why so angry?”
and I gave him the reason mentioned above.
Then he had another stupid response that I can’t recall now. Anyway, he was sending his emails from his legitimate business account. Like most business email accounts, every email was signed with his first and last name, work, cell, and fax numbers, business name and address, and his title. And I hadn’t deleted any of his emails. So I informed him of my new policy: now that I have the privelage of posting whatever the fuck I want up on mikesouth.com, I will be posting each and every propostion for sex that is sent to me. These posts will include all personal information and every single thing that is written between us. And if they send pictures, those go up too. Needless to say he had no response to that last one. And I’m going to stick with this policy. Every single proposition that comes to me via email will be here for all to see the following morning. In the spirit of fairness I will put up a warning on myspace.
8 Responses
At the risk of being on the receiving end of a poison pen I make my comment.
I quite understand how tedious it would/does become for someone of your intellect, pose and beauty to continuously receive propositions of that nature. However, when objectively analyzed I believe your frustration is due primarily to the repetition of which it occurs, then by the actual proposition. An angry response (given as a first response) may in fact make your point “I’m not a whore”, but it also sends other messages; “I’m tired and don’t want to be doing this.”, “I wouldn’t fuck you for a million dollars, LOSER.” “I’m only here for the money. I prefer women” and so on and so forth. Although, these may in fact be correct thoughts, they also are the messages which are hindering the prospects of getting that lap dance money you want.
You would fare better to; Thank him for his complement, explain that isn’t a service you offer and suggest a friend who does. At a club, play along until you have the lap dance then move on. Etc. etc, etc. You get the idea.
Hell, I’m sure you had the idea all along. You’re just tired of being hit on by old fat guys you would fuck if your life depended on it, frustrated by everyone else trying to run your life and thinking THEY know better than YOU, when THEY couldn’t fight their way out of a wet paper sack.
My guess is you probably just need a good…..
I wanna get you two together for a dinner LOL
I sympathize; there is a real and valid distinction between stripping, porn, and hooking. If not, we wouldn’t need seperate words for them. However, you must realize that they are all united on a certain psychological continuum. Simply put, they’re all a fiat way of (attempting to) achieve the the emotional effects of sexual gratification using a fiat currency: money instead of virtue.
Now, I (quite obviously) have no objection to using porn (and possibly strip clubs, I haven’t much experience) as a stop gap measure – a sort of tiding over – between sexual encounters and/or romantic relationships, but I am under no illusions that one, if used dependently for long periods of time, will lead to the others.
Porn and strip clubs can be thought of “gateway drugs” of sorts. If and when the effect of those lose their luster, the person – driven by the same irrational, unrealistic urges and ideas which made substitute porn/strippers for actual intimacy – the person graduates to things like “casual encounters” and prostitution. Is it any wonder then that the person’s entire approach to the realm of sex is to view it as an anything goes, unreal world where any and every irrational assertion has the possibility of coming true? Despite a complete lack of evidence?
Personally, I’ve never been able to bring myself to pay for sex (Hell, I’ve never been able to pay for porn! Thanks Freeones.), but I don’t think it is because the girls I lust after make it perfectly clear that they wouldn’t accept. They may not, but that isn’t my point. My point is that what keeps me from reaching that level is what certain other men lack: a (at least periodic) confidence that if I really tried, I could have sex for free quite quickly as well as a constant reminder that my lonliness – which drives me to porn on a daily basis – is the result something I possess (unusually high integrity); not something I lack (self-esteem).
Remember its old fat guys that buy your videos.
I thought about it some more.How can you be surprised about these requests to pay for sex with you,when you get paid to have sex on video?
I can understand its not your thing that’s cool but to judge these guys like their scum of the earth.I think its funny.
I agree with the comment above. Are you seriously surprised by these requests? Look at the industry you work in. Granted there are distinctions between being a dancer, a porn star or a hooker and just because you do one of those things doesn’t mean you’ll do them all but it is all somewhat related. It shouldn’t be a surprise when you work in the sex industry in any capacity that you’re propositioned for sex. Personally I used to work as a dancer and as a call girl, so I do know how the men in the clubs are. I also don’t think their requests should make you angry. There are many dancers and porn stars who do in fact escort and the only way for a man to know if you’re one of those girls is to ask. If you’re not interested in their offer or doing escorting you can simply tell them ‘no thank you’ or ‘i don’t do that’. You’ve just got to learn to accept that it’s part of the business your in. You should take the offer as a compliment that someone would be willing to spend hundreds of dollars of their hard earned money just to be with you for a short time but calmly inform them that your not interested and that’s not what you do and move on. Otherwise you’re going to be angry a whole lot of the time because when a girl is as beautiful as you are there will always be men making offers.
If you publish any personal information of any of these men, you and Mike will be sued.
You need a thicker skin honey if you want to be in porn. Why are you surprised that a man assumes that you also hook on the side when you make your living having sex on camera with strangers? Yes I know the difference between porn and prostitution. But porn is a form of legalized prostitution. Every day plain-jane Mary Smith down the street gets propositioned. Why are you surpised that you do? If you don’t hook like most other male and female porn stars, then just delete the email or walk away.
Many porn stars make videos having sex with their fans instead of other porn stars. She’s not having sex with a professional. So isn’t she a prostitute? Who do you date off camera? Does he drive a nice car? Does he make lots of money? Does he own his own home? Would you turn down a date if he said he was taking you to Burger King instead of Mr. Chows? Everyone is a prostitute unless they are their own boss.
You really take yourself way too seriously and unless you come down from that thrown you placed yourself on, your crash landing back down to Earth will be bumpy. You were complaining on your first blog post here how “Vivid” served McDonalds on your first porn shoot. You’re not Julia Roberts on a $100 million dollar budget movie. Were yu expecting lobster being flown in and champagne being served? I don’t have a problem with prostitution or porn obviously. But you make your money from having sex with strangers on camera for all the world to see. Don’t be surrprised or insulted that a man assumes that you would hook on the side. And I’m sooooo sure if George Clooney was offering you $25,000 an hour or Brad Pitt offering you a starring role opposite him all in exchange for sex, that you would gladly say yes.
Be grateful that you’re still being propositioned before your looks start to fade and you start gaining weight. You won’t have many of these men propostitoning you anymore or any porn company giving you a contract.