Dear Darrah,

You must have assumed, as my most frequent commenter, that I’d eventually notice you. At first I was unsure. I’ve never heard the name Darrah before. It’s very pretty. The same thing I thought when I named myself Kayden (inconsequentially a boy’s name). I wanted a name that no one else had. To this day, I’m what comes up on the search engine even if you spell it wrong or leave off the last name. Jenna would have been a hard name to have in porn. Jenna Jameson and Jenna Haze pretty much own that one. Searching for me would have driven wonderful traffic to them. But it was my stripper name and I did try it on for size as a model. Jennal Nickol. Nicole is my middle name. They say the best way to name yourself in porn is to take the name of  the first street you lived on and combine it with the name of your first pet. I would be Clarrissa Sampson. I like it. Wish I had thought of it sooner.

But back to you. The first comment of yours that caught my attention was on “The Fastest Way to Kill a Propostion”. It made you angry. So angry in fact, that you left two comments back to back. You said:

“If you publish any personal information of any of these men, you and Mike will be sued.

You need a thicker skin honey if you want to be in porn. Why are you surprised that a man assumes that you also hook on the side when you make your living having sex on camera with strangers? Yes I know the difference between porn and prostitution. But porn is a form of legalized prostitution. Every day plain-jane Mary Smith down the street gets propositioned. Why are you surpised that you do? If you don’t hook like most other male and female porn stars, then just delete the email or walk away.

Many porn stars make videos having sex with their fans instead of other porn stars. She’s not having sex with a professional. So isn’t she a prostitute? Who do you date off camera? Does he drive a nice car? Does he make lots of money? Does he own his own home? Would you turn down a date if he said he was taking you to Burger King instead of Mr. Chows? Everyone is a prostitute unless they are their own boss.”

Then you said:

“You really take yourself way too seriously and unless you come down from that thrown you placed yourself on, your crash landing back down to Earth will be bumpy. You were complaining on your first blog post here how “Vivid” served McDonalds on your first porn shoot. You’re not Julia Roberts on a $100 million dollar budget movie. Were yu expecting lobster being flown in and champagne being served? I don’t have a problem with prostitution or porn obviously. But you make your money from having sex with strangers on camera for all the world to see. Don’t be surrprised or insulted that a man assumes that you would hook on the side. And I’m sooooo sure if George Clooney was offering you $25,000 an hour or Brad Pitt offering you a starring role opposite him all in exchange for sex, that you would gladly say yes.

Be grateful that you’re still being propositioned before your looks start to fade and you start gaining weight. You won’t have many of these men propostitoning you anymore or any porn company giving you a contract.”

Darrah, I don’t think you realize exactly where I’m coming from. You couldn’t possibly. As you later admitted in another comment, you aren’t in the industry. I would love to get sued for posting a propostion on this site. I don’t honestly think I would be though. I don’t even think I can be but I haven’t done the research. Where are you going to find a guy willing to stay involved in what will quickly become a very public lawsuit in which he tried to pay me for sex and I said no? And if there is one out there, by all means, bring it. The amount of exposure I’d get from it is priceless.

And this has nothing to do with thick skin. I’m annoyed, not hurt. I’m annoyed the same way I’m annoyed when the same spam makes it into my inbox after I’ve marked it as spam ten times. I have been deleting the emails and walking away for a year and a half now. The reason for posting that blog went entirely over your head. I didn’t post it because I’m surprised that I’m propositioned, or because I think there is anything wrong with prostitution. I posted it so I would get fewer emails about it and as a reassurance to some of the people in my life who support me in this industry but only to an extent. And guess what darling? It worked. I have not recieved a single propostion since that post went up.

Who do I date? Well, right now, a fellow pornstar. Before him, a man who “packaged and sold risk” as he put it. That’s what got me. It was hot. He dealt in credit derivatives and I just wanted him to talk and talk. There was nothing better than hearing about the way money works from a mind like his. Before him, a bartender. A greek god more than anything. Money is not the single motivator. I like men with the minds to make money. I like men with ambition and money usually follows. But I don’t date men simply because they have money. That’s stupid. It’s not like they’re going to give it to me. Same reason I won’t fuck a guy simply because he drives a ferrarri. Its not like I get to keep it afterwards. And really, if you can attack women for liking men with resources, then we should be attacking men for liking younger women with a waist to hip ratio of .71. These are the ways attraction naturally flows. Evolution. I learned it in high school.

I don’t take myself all too seriously Darrah. You take me too seriously. But if we are going to split hairs about catering with McDonald’s (how on earth were you able to conjure up any sort of emotion about that line anyway?), then please name one venue outside of a six year old’s birthday party where catering with McDonald’s seemed appropriate. I don’t expect lobster and champagne. I would look bloated before my scene (:

If George Clooney or Brad Pitt approach me about sex, you’re damn right I’d fuck them. I’d fuck them at the same time, camera or not. I’d give them my first DP. That’s a horrible example. Now ask me if I’d fuck Jack Nicholson. Do you see where I’m going with this? Here is my test for whether I will fuck the guy on camera: would I fuck him off camera? It’s very simple. Have you seen Nick Manning and Tommy Gunn and Erik Everhard and Jean Val Jean? Gorgeous. I look forward to my work. They aren’t strangers either. But its a moot point because I’d fuck them anyway.

You say everyday plain mary-jane gets propositioned off the street? Do you mean mary-jane the street hooker or a regular girl? I was not once propostioned before I started stripping. Guys do not just walk up to random girls on the street and offer them sex for money. We are not all starring roles in Borat the movie. And before I began being propositioned I didn’t feel like I was missing anything. It’s not like a period where girls can’t wait to get it to confirm their womanhood. When I’m too old and ugly to be propositioned I won’t miss it either. And I don’t think I’ll be fat. Thank god I have genes on my side there. I will miss being attractive to the opposite sex though.

That’s actually how I started thinking about your name. Men and women focus on and interpret things differently. They communicate differently. I originally thought you were a bitter middle aged woman when your comment focused on me one day getting old and fat. I thought Darrah was a very pretty name for a girl. Maybe I would name my firstborn that. Maybe it would be my tranny name. Or my next horse’s name. You see, Darrah, small things take me off into many splintering directions. You have become more of an excercise in creative writing than anything. On my next post you began to remind me of the third grade woven bracelet we all wore. WWJD. It was intended to stop and make us think about our actions, to ask ourselves, What Would Jesus Do?  Now as I type I wonder, what would Darrah say? Frankly, I just don’t know. I can rely on you posting a very emotionally charged comment. I can rely on you posting the exact opposite of whatever I say or believe. I just don’t always know what its going to be. And now I’m a bit attached to your input. You are the blog yin to my yang.

So I was almost disappointed when it took you awhile to comment on “Goddammit Shelley Lubben”. You didn’t fail me though. You called Jenna Jameson a gold digging whore who hates the industry and you defended Shelley Lubben because, according to you, so many girls call her for help and if she scares girls away from porn, then good, they shouldn’t have been there in the first place. 

Jenna Jameson can be called a lot of things, but where did you get gold digger, Darrah? She and her ex made their fortune together and now she’s independently wealthy of any man. She doesn’t have to dig for gold. And I really can’t see her hating the industry, privately or publicly. It has done more for her than it has for any other female performer.

About Shelley: I cannot be unbiased here. How, as a self proclaimed fan of porn, can you honestly say it’s good for the girls to be scared away because they shouldn’t be there in the first place? Where is the dissonance here? You tell me, from your outsider point of view, to just wait, I haven’t been in the industry long enough to be bitter. Then you hail Shelley as an expert-altruistic-repentant-ex-pornstar. Do you realize she shot movies for two years and my first scene was shot in october 2006. I’m three months away from expert status in that case. If so many girls call her for help, then why has she only “saved” five of them?

I do think about what you say though. I asked myself, have I been traumatized in this industry. How has it changed me. What are my biggest stressors? I freaked out yesterday. I started crying. I realized I am overly sensitive in some areas. A touch of PTSD maybe? It wasn’t porn though. It was because my horse layed his head on my lap. I was saddling him up and he started choking on grass hay (no, the bit was not in his mouth). He was heaving and gasping and I threw the saddle off of him and came around and stood in front of him with my phone open not knowing who to call. I haven’t gotten a vet since I moved to LA. Would 911 respond? They do for cats in trees don’t they? Horses can’t throw up but he looked like he was about to. Then he just dropped the full weight of his head on my lap. Horses don’t do that unless they are sick or sedated. The last time Intrigue did that to me he died there. So when Conte did it I immediately broke down in tears. I couldn’t handle losing two horses in six months. Conte is fine though. We can all be a bit melodramatic at times.

So I’ve come to the conclusion that you just like to argue. I don’t know why you chose me as your adversary. I rather like it though. You give me a little spike in my day. People ask me why I chose to buy a young unbroke arabian stallion when I could have gotten a safe and well trained gelding for the same price, all other things equal. Because it’s interesting. You do push it though and I think you’re mostly wrong. Like when your moral reasoning for not supporting Max Hardcore is that he wouldn’t return the favor. Moral reasoning based on how someone else might hypothetically behave is an absence of moral reasoning… if that makes sense.

And of course, we cannot forget my first post about Shelley Lubben. The one where you gave a breakdown of exactly how wrong I was about the prevalence of  stds and drugs, way before I knew whether you were in the industry or not, before I cared to find out whether Darrah was a masculine or feminine name. I’m finding more and more every day that these figures are hazy and unreliable, that they can be manipulated for and against the industry depending on who we’re counting as “the industry”. But you knew. You felt very strongly about that too. You also said I was off on porn addiction vs. sex addiction. I got my information from the man paid to testify to the committee… the one with the PhD… and I can’t help but wonder what your credentials are…

Either way Darrah, don’t take me too seriously. I always have two motivators for writing a blog: the issue at hand and the need to write a blog. I think with the kind of comments you like to leave you will probably like the attention. I’m giving you something you can cut and paste on your own blog, something you can tear to pieces with rebuttals and personal attacks. Mostly I just have nothing especially important to write about right now. Still no horrible abuses at the hands of porn…. no recent propostions… nothing that could really piss off a large group of people. Maybe I can piss you off instead.


Kayden Kross

21670cookie-checkDear Darrah,

Dear Darrah,

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15 Responses

  1. Oh, and I’m glad you didn’t call 911 for your horse. Horses don’t pay taxes 🙂

  2. Oh my GAWD! *faints*

    And this is too much to read and handle now at two in the morning and I have to reread it again tomorrow.

    But I can be opinionated and a bitch. I don’t argue just for the sake of arguing. But others on here have also said your views and statistics on drugs and STDs are wrong. Not just me.

    I have nothing against you and you haven’t done enough yet to piss me off the way Jenna Jameson has. Put yourself in Jay Grdina’s shoes. I’m sure he’s no saint. But let’s say if you bankrolled your boyfriend/husband’s namesake company and you ran it day to day and did all the work behind the scenes in the company but your husband took all the credit in the media. Your husband had nothing to do with the company other than just being the name and face of the company. Then when you two file for divorce, he doesn’t want you to have what’s rightfully your share of the company and both your assets. And then starts a publicity pity party machine for himself blaming you for all his problems and says you were riding his coattails. I’m pro-woman in every sense of the word unless she does something to not merit any support. Jay isn’t Kevin Federline. It was Jay’s money that started ClubJenna and everything they have should be split down 50/50.

    Max Hardcore is a sexual defiant and gives all porn a bad name. What he does shouldn’t even be called porn. Go read some of the Myspace blogs of other female porn stars and what he did to them and put them through when it was clearly told to him what they would do and not do.

    You said things that upset me and pissed me off. So I argued with you. Others did as well. I’ll argue with anyone if I have a problem with something they say. If Mike said something I didn’t like, I would argue with him too! I may not be right according to most people but it’s what I believe. And anyone has the right to argue back at me. I wish more people would comment on this site and other porn sites and have a debate in the comments. That’s how I learn new things. Everything I know about porn is by watching and reading anything and everything about porn throughout the years. I love porn! I also think of what it would be like to do porn and my GAWD what it would be like doing a scene with Randy West. Yeah he’s twice my age but I love him!

    But as I said earlier, I have nothing against you because you haven’t done anything yet to really make me dislike you. I just haven’t agreed with any of your posts since you started blogging here at Mike’s. 😀

  3. Argh, since I’m stil up I thought I would finish reading the entire post and comment.

    Yes I picked the name Darrah because it’s different and not too many people have it.

    I left two comments back to back because the first time I had left a very long reply here it got truncated and butchered. So now I try to remember to do two posts instead.

    You could be sued if the man’s email is company email and if he somehow got fired if the email had the company email address attached and then posted on a site that thousands visit every day.

    If that blog post went entirely over my head, then it went over other people’s heads as well like a few porn blogs that I visited the day and week after you posted it.

    You said >>> About Shelley: I cannot be unbiased here. How, as a self proclaimed fan of porn, can you honestly say it’s good for the girls to be scared away because they shouldn’t be there in the first place?

    Me saying it’s good for the girls to be scared away because it’s better for them to leave now then to leave in two years and say how they hate porn and they were forced and all these other things. Those girls should never have gotten into porn unless they knew for sure it’s what they wanted to do as a career and are comfortable int heir own skin and sexuality. Because even though I feel bad for those girls and what they went through, it’s girls like them that gives another black eye to the porn industry. Not every girl can have a decades long career like Nina Hartley and still be in porn and enjoy it. Nina is a great spokesperson for the industry and doesn’t come off as bitter like Jenna Jameson has. I hope you can have the same success as Nina has. But most girls won’t.

    And I’m sorry about your horses. Horses care me though. Beautiful animals but I’ve been scared of them since falling off one when I was a child.

  4. When I was a youngster we had a shetland pony. He was great and at the time and I thought he was huge. Fucker ran me to the corner of the fence one day though and nipped me. Fuck that hurt. We also, had chickens and a dog. My dog started killing and eating the chickens which upset my folks due to the eggs we were getting. My Dad whipped him for doing it. Did what some of the ole timers told him to do – only way a break a dog killing chickens is to beat him with one of the dead ones – didn’t work, he had a taste for it and went on to start killing our neighbor’s chickens. Fluffy disappeared soon after the second hen was found chewed up. Red was sold to someone with two fat boys who wanted a horse more than I did. I heard my Mom arguing with my Uncle about the disappearance of Fluffy and the need to sell Red. Didn’t change anything, least not in any positive way. Everyone just got upset, bitched for awhile and then went on doing what each knew to be the best thing.

    I eat eggs every day, have my own dog now and still like horses. Guess I wasn’t traumatized or ruined from all that bickering. Can’t say I enjoyed it though.

  5. Sorry I was out of town and not playing with the blog troll. Im back now Kayden so Im sure we can resume why Max Hardcore is a great American and find out how much Darrah has contributed to his cause.

  6. Well gotta go now everyone. When someone thinks a sexual deviant and borderline pedophile is a better person than I am, I think that’s when I’ve over-stayed my welcome.

    And also don’t assume that someone is a porn insider and ‘in the know’ just because they have a porn blog and comment on other porn blogs.

  7. Oh no I didn’t mean it like that. I know Mike is an insider and a part of the industry for years. The three porn bloggers I’ve read for years are Mike, Luke, and Gram. I meant that some people think I was a porn insider and I wondered if that was because I have a porn blog and comment on porn blogs.

    You don’t know if I’m a better person than Max? Everyone except for Satan himself is better than Max!

  8. For the record here

    I don’t think that what Max does is “porn” at least not in any sense of the word pron that I shoot.

    I don’t think that the government has a big conspiracy to get us, at least not one that is well defined, I’d say Vivid and DP are pretty safe at the moment, but people like Max do tend to open us up to attack, that is why we should pick our fights and not let the likes of Rob Black, Max and Kahn Tusion do it. On the face the government sees no difference, nor do most average Americans.

    I don’t think that just because someone knows a lot about porn that makes him/her an insider. I knew a lot about porn way before I got into the biz. For instance I know that Ugly George invented the style commonly referred to as Gonzo, not John Stagliano.

    I know that Rueben Sturman is ultimately responsible for the early success of the industry and that the biz did indeed have strong mob ties, specially through the distribution arm.

    Iknow that the Vivid movie of who is reportedly Jimmy Hendrix looks a whole lot more like Johnny Keyes to me.

    I know when people say this is a 4 billion dollars a year business that they are idiots.

    I could go on….

    I’m happy to have ya Darrah, Kayden too my readers and writers are the smartest of the bunch.

  9. Well said Mike, it seems about 75 percent of the people that support Max dont actually shoot porn for a living.

  10. Careful Tony. Youll be accused of being a porn blogger so you can get close to the industry.

  11. Max Hardcore is gross and abuses his girls in his movies. It’s been repeated often enough on other blogs, Lukeisback and on other forums.

    I find it funny that Kayden keeps stating she didn’t have a bad childhood, no drug addiction, just wants to prove normal women decide to do porn because they want to. That’s all fine and good, but the irony is that you posted you attended a private christian school. Maybe you had a strict upbringing which led you to strip then do porn.

    Howard Stern always makes fun of strippers and says they must’ve been raped or abused OR from a very strict background.

  12. For the record, I love Mike South’s blog. He’s definitely an insider, I think anyone can tell just from his posts.

    Keep up the good work, Mike!

  13. Dirty Bob,
    Did you notice in this thread where Mike says he doesnt think Maxs’ material is porn(his definition of porn.) Why dont you call HIM on that statemnet also. I also happen to agree with Mike on this one. Your definition of porn inludes ‘…designed to excite SEXUAL impulses….” Anyone who gets sexually stimulated by Maxs’ material has bigger problems to worry about than big brother and the right wing.

    I dont give the government or the right wing as much credit as most who postonthese boards do. If they had nearly as much power as you think,porn would have been gone a long long time ago. And i think Mike would agree…You dont have to be right wing zealot to think Max, or Rob Black, or Khan Tusion, produce obscene material. They are the definition of obscene. Do I like obscenity laws? NO. But it is the law, and these guys fit the category whether you like it or not.

    So I will ask again, Why didnt you make a similar sarcastic remark to MIke, when he agreed with darah about Maxs’ material?


    The government doesnt put you in jail, the jury of your peers does.

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