I was thinking about the abysmally sorry state of affairs that the porn biz has found itself in of late. While considering such creatively void fare as So and So “has a Negro Problem” and “Gag Faktor” my mind started wandering to the “next big things in porn” that never happened. Like the so called “couples porn” and more recently “alt porn”, Eon McKai is to porn what “The Archies” were to Rock and Roll. Ian MacKaye should have hunted him down and impaled him with neck of his guitar for taking a homonymous name. Indeed the difference is the same as the difference between a carat and a carrot and I hope I don’t need to tell you which is which. Someone needs to notify Joanna Angel and the moron over at Magna who thought it was a good idea that alt porn died so a magazine about it was a colossal waste of money, even if it did get him laid, which it probably didn’t.
Then it struck me.
Even Rock and Roll has gone through dry spells, hell it’s arguably in one now.
Porn, is in a dry spell. A very dry spell. Oh sure there’s a few moments of creativity and vision, “Pirates”, “Camp Cuddly Pines” and “Bad Wives” all rose above the level that porners should have been able to produce but they are few and far between. A four and a half hour post apocalyptic porno might seem like a good idea but lets be honest, even Peter Jackson couldn’t hold an audiences attention for that long, and he had the good sense to know it, that’s why “Lord of the Rings” was in three parts. (Note to Adam and Eve: A three part porn movie is NOT, I repeat NOT a good idea.) You want a Post apocalyptic porn movie with vision? Try “Cafe Flesh”.
It all started going down hill when Ed Powers picked up a cheap camera, put it on auto mode and pointed it at himself. AVN raved about it and some moron came up with the idea to call this new abomination “gonzo”. In a just world Hunter S Thompson would have taken his dog and found this guy, pointed his finger at him and shouted “Nixon”. If you don’t understand that, this whole post is probably lost on you so go read a forum where intelligent conversation is considered to be about how some pornchick is a “racist” because she won’t fuck black guys.
Will porn recover? Ya I’m sure it will, like Rock and Roll it won’t die, sometimes it just needs some passion to get back into it.
Excuse me, now I have to go shoot a bukkake.
3 Responses
Wow Mike…we were all just talking about the other day…that’s what porn needs…another throw-back in the Larry Flynt of the 70’s mold…avant garde with a nasty, filthy twist and penchant for the most excellent photographical and cinematographical treatment of the pussy…but with a gritty and REAL look, not posed, faked or staged. You know…a really, really sex-addicted pervert. Just my humble opinion though…I do think we can do it Mike…seriously. And we could get Julie to write scripts…
i’d like to see someone remake 9 1/2 weeks with the sex scenes explicit. a few close-ups shot would be fine as long as it doesn’t heavily focus on it. i nominate james deen and stoya.
mike thank you for introducing me to hunter s thompson. now that that dude was rock and roll!
LOL! My scripts are super tame. I think they’re cute, though. They are probably too 70’s adorable to work nowadays, but I have seen some of the crap that does get produced, and my stuff can’t be that bad! Thank you for your faith in me, Lovely Lindsey! 😀 Good to see you back, too! We need to do a phone interview about what is going on in your life. I’d have a lot of fun trying to capture your sassy Southern style in prose.
Nice reference to Ed Powers, Mike! lol Of course, my first scene was with Ed and it was pretty darn gross. Nice “ruminations” post. You’re right, of course.