Goddess is PISSED!

Dear Mr. South, Sir,
I am putting you on notice….
As your stalker, there is a slew of crap I’m willing to put up with, but sitting through ONE MORE Tera Patrick show is NOT on the list. I tried connecting at 56k, but after five seconds of sound, I got zip. So I reconnected at 28k. After seven seconds of sound and fuzzy images, I got zip. All the while cursing Digital Playground, God, and WalMart for not making mu-mus roomy enough for full figured gals like me, I rebooted and tried connecting at both speeds AGAIN. It’s now thirty minutes into the show, and this is what I’ve heard so far, “the…on….for….guys…..in….up…..box…..and ….for….in…..the….body….”
If Digital Playground persists in advertising this show as available at 28k and 56k connection speeds, then it has an obligation to make sure that the show is ACTUALLY VIEWABLE AND AUDIBLE AT THOSE SPEEDS. I guess they’ve never heard of the whole ‘truth in advertising’ concept at DP. In the three or four times you’ve forced me to sit through this show, Mr. South, I have never ONCE been able to see or hear more than 15 minutes…and that’s all told, that’s NOT FIFTEEN CONSECUTIVE minutes.
Note to Digital Playground: get rid of all the cutesy crap on the opening screen. That junk takes forever to load. Give us a simple window with a CLEAR PICTURE AND AUDIBLE SOUND, and yes, it would be icing on the cake, if the two were actually in sync. We don’t need the lava lamp, the lava, or the bouncing little Tera picture, reminding us ad nauseam of her URL. I’m guessing you’ve figured out that most of your viewers aren’t smart enough to remember terapatrick.com, and I have to agree. I mean they’re obviously not smart enough to stop watching inferior web casts, so it stands to reason they need a constant reminder of the show host’s web site addy. Although WHY I’m quibbling about the sound and pictures and slow loading screen is beyond me. The show stinks. I mean how many people who DON’T work for Digital Playground WANT to be able to see and hear it clearly for any length of time?!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I am closing this connection once and for all. Never to be reopened again, not even for YOU, Mr. South. Besides, when you’ve seen one big blob with no sound, you’ve seen them all.
Sign me,
One Pissed Off Stalker