Jim Bakker: ‘Trump was merely sharing the Gospel with’ Stormy Daniels

BLUE EYE, MO— Squashing accusations that President Trump had a sexual encounter with porn star Stormy Daniels while he was married to Melania, televangelist Jim Bakker explained to his audience Friday that he had confirmed that Trump was merely scheduling private time with the woman in a hotel suite in order to share with her the good news of Jesus Christ, as he had become acquainted with her and was very concerned that she was not a Christian.

Jim Bakker: 'Trump Was Merely Sharing The Gospel with' Stormy Daniels
Jim Bakker

“It is preposterous to assert that a virtuous believer like Mr. Trump would cheat on his beautiful wife so callously, and while their child was only months old,” a solemn Bakker said into the camera as colorful balloons provided a backdrop for some reason. “He was so concerned with the eternal state of Miss Daniels’ soul that he scheduled some alone time with just the two of them, so he could share with her how Jesus Christ had changed his life and how He could also save her from her sins.”

Donald Trump with Stormy Daniels

Nearly choking up with tears, Bakker went on to explain how much he loves and looks up to Trump as a model saint.

“Our president even arranged through his attorney to give this woman $130,000 in an attempt to help rescue her from the destructive adult film industry and get her life back on track. What a man of God!”

Jim Bakker ended his broadcast by wagering that there were probably “many, many more” sex-industry workers like Daniels who could tell a similarly inspiring story about President Trump.


204160cookie-checkJim Bakker: ‘Trump was merely sharing the Gospel with’ Stormy Daniels

Jim Bakker: ‘Trump was merely sharing the Gospel with’ Stormy Daniels

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14 Responses

  1. Televangelists are some of the most hypocritical motherfuckers on the planet. Just look at Jim Bakker, Crefio Dollar, Ted Haggard, or Jimmy Swaggart.

  2. I am a liberal Christian and I don’t believe that load of shit. It is funny how Donald Trump never mentioned being a Christian himself before entering politics. I believe he probably did accept Jesus Christ but is also probably just as much a sinner as me. At least I don’t advocate starving 100 million poor people to death to give the .01% an extra billion dollars per year each. What a fucking idiot Jim Bakker is. Is this the same Jim Bakker that served prison time for fleecing his “flock” out of a billion dollars and blowing it on a resort, Tammy Faye’s makeup and expensive clothing, 40 expensive cars and a bunch of other needless shit rather than spreading the Good News like he was supposed to? I wonder if he is up to the same shit and thinks cozying up to “The Donald” will keep him from being sentenced to more years of nightly ass rapes from prison “five bubba clubs”. Unfortunately I grew up down the road from this creep (although I think he is a bit older than me), I will probably be committing another sin (thank God they are forgiven) saying Jim Bakker is one of the worst pieces of shit Muskegon, MI ever produced but at least I think it is the truth! The drug gangs down the road from his childhood home have more integrity in one of their members’ little fingers than this cocksucker does in his whole body and they kill someone in Muskegon Heights every other day (I wonder how many poor old ladies starved to death because they sent their last dime to this motherfucker for him to spend on his “resort” and expensive cars)!

  3. Oh, yeah. Karma, look up Robert Tilton for a real creep. That guy’s whole sermon was “donate to me and God will repay you one hundred fold”. He called committing to future donations “vows”. You are supposed to support your local church but there is nothing in the Bible about Robert’s claim.

  4. If you just read Bakker’s words without knowing who said them, it plays like a parody. Someone using huge sarcasm to make fun of Trump. Kind of like the old excuse of “Sorry Honey, I read Playboy for the articles”.

    But Jim Bakker is nuts, a Pat Robertson type that believes and spouts unfounded nonsense all the time.

    This is hilarious though. Trump supporters will jump all over this. Yeah, our Dear Leader invited a porn star escort to his hotel to SAVE HER SOUL. 100 grand payoff probably helped save something for Stormy.


  5. Oh Good. I was SO worried that Trump’s interests were prurient. I thought i was going to have to console myself that his porn star was lily white and they only did it in missionary position. Now I find out, he was ACTUALLY positioning himself as a missionary. Wow, what a guy!

  6. Someone copied an article from a site that clearly Identifies itself as “Trusted Source For Christian News Satire” and pasted it here. Don’t even need Snopes, just click the link in the post.

  7. I will talk to the powers that be about asking posters here at this site to be more careful about posting parody/satire fake ass news articles in the future. It’s a huge HUGE huge pet peeve of mine.

  8. Agreed. It’s not good form. I AM glad that it was an actual satirical site though, and not a “genuine” fake news site. 🙂

    It’s really a function of how dishonest tele-evangelists have been in the past (even, specifically the one in the article) that made this story “believable”.

  9. Well I thought it seemed like parody … but since it was posted here I decided it must have been authentic

    Careful , if you do too much of this you will lose credibility

    Just make a note it is satire and we can have a laugh with it .

  10. Kelli and Joe, I couldn’t agree more. Jim Bakker is so screwed up that I took the article as fact. You never know what Jim Bakker and Pat Robertson types will claim. Simply starting the article with “this is satire” would have been a better idea than publishing it as-is. Since Sam is new here and has only been a journalist a couple of months I will give him/her a pass here. I think he/she has probably learned his/her lesson on this one, I doubt he/she will write an article like this again without clearly identifying it as satire.

  11. Those televangelists will say the dumbest shit like “according to the bible boys should have short haircuts and not long hair”, “the bible says don’t smoke cigarettes”, or “god hates homosexuals”.

  12. I am responding to an old comment but I have the perfect retort to that, Karma. Ask that preacher why Jesus Christ Himself had long hair. BTW there is nothing in the Bible requiring men to cut their hair (or women to not cut their hair for that matter). Also, God doesn’t “hate” homosexuals, being homosexual won’t even keep a person out of Heaven. I will leave the part about it being sinful to smoke cigarettes to others, the Bible doesn’t mention it directly but you are supposed to take care of yourself as best you can. Either way, smoking cigarettes won’t keep you out of Heaven, either.

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