This Years Summer Olympics is a Bust as far as Hard On’s go

I’m not a huge sports fan, but I like to carve out a little bit of time every four years to take a glance at the Summer Olympics. I wish I could say I watch solely for patriotic reasons, but I’ve always had a thing for girl next door beach volleyball ass and the summer olympics usually doesn’t disappoint. Yes, I could easily turn on my computer or DVD player and watch the hardest in amateur gynecology, but there’s something about viewing female skin on network TV that still brings out the 12 year old fist pumper in me.

With all that being said, I can’t tell you how disappointed I am in this years crop of olympic female talent. I wouldn’t go as far as blaming the women themselves. I just think the technology of modern athletic training has finally crossed into Herman Munster territory. What was once a tight beach volleyball body is now like a female version of Christian with a ponytail. I was fully expecting to see a trough of oats next to the Gatorade during last nights competition. The swimming competition isn’t much better either. What starts out as a pretty girl next door face eventually leads to a set of shoulder blades that are reminiscent of some of my Italian cousins on the east coast who “keep the neighborhoods safe”.

I’d be willing to take all of this complaining back if the American gymnasts make a strong showing before this whole thing is over. I specify American gymnasts because those eastern european girls scare the shit out of me with their pointy faces. I could just imagine one of those eastern europeans getting startled during a blow job and accidentally stabbing my cock with her nose and giving me a paper cut. I’ve never fucked a gymnast ass, but I get visions of slapping my dick over and over against a boulder and that doesn’t sound like something I could get off to.

The moral of the story is this… If you can’t fuck an olympian during her prime, wait 5 years till she starts making “special appearances” at your local Jiffy Lube.