Apparently, no one is screwing each other over in porn valley these days or having any other kind of drama. If you follow the state of porn blogs recently, it seems like everyone out there is just too darn busy celebrating birthdays to make any real news happenings. Reading your average porn blog lately is like reading a newsletter from Chuck E. Cheese.
Past the age of 12 years old, who the fuck really cares who’s Birthday it is??? Why is this news??? What is my reaction supposed to be to all these birthday announcements??? Okay, let me thank you (insert porn star name here) from the bottom of my heart for being born and having sex on film so I can pleasure myself. Taadaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What also goes beyond inane is the “self-given” birthday parties at (insert Hollywood hot spot of the moment) that follows said press release announcing porn star birthdays. Really… Other than gay guys named Todd who work at Sephora, no self-respecting adult should be throwing themselves a birthday party WHAT SO EVER! Me personally, as an adult male in my 30’s, I would rather spend an entire afternoon having Ed Powers sell me a timeshare than walk into a crowded club and have people sing happy birthday to me and give me gifts. I might as well be sitting on a big pink dildo while blowing out my candles because the entire experience is just gay gay gay…
On a less gayer note… I got to spend Memorial Day having a fake BBQ with Pam and Tommy Lee in Malibu. That’s all I can say about it right now because I currently have a wet vac up my ass still trying to remove sand from my crack since Monday. Or at least that’s the excuse I keep giving my girlfriend. It feels kind of good…in a non-gay way of course. More to come.
2 Responses
Hummmm….. Sounds like “somebodies” Birthday may have been overlooked.
LOL… I kill me.
Then go out and find the news. Be the new Luke Ford and I’ll post it on my own blog instead of me putting in filler like nude British models who have nothing to do with porn.