Thoughts on Jonestown, Tweeting and Porn Superstardom

OK THIS IS GENIUS … Thanks Sherman…yer on a roll lately and I’m not…God Bless You Fellow Camp Counselor

Sherman’s {from the emmreport} thoughts on Jonestown, Tweeting and Porn Superstardom

Jonestown or Superstardom: Porn and Tweeting: how will I know I’m cool, or will I always be a loser?

Ok, so I checked my twitter page, {is that what you call it?} Not many followers, not many tweets, are the two connected in some subconscious way, or am I simply a loser? So I decided to ask the real twitter expert, the Porn Stars, is there hope for me? And when will I know if I’m cool or not?

Things to consider when pondering such an important issue in the world:

If I’m a guy:

Roughly how many followers does it take till I’m considered cool?

How many times do I have to tweet?

Do I have to tell the truth when I’m tweeting?

Does it help if I follow the popular people, even if I have no idea who they are?

Would it help it I pretend I’m a really hot babe?

Do I have to pretend if I’m totally hip?

Does it matter if I attract different demographics or are followers followers?

Does sending pix help?

Pix of myself?

A specific part of the anatomy?

Should it be covered or exposed?

Should I post some pix of Pets? {Dogs, cats, etc}

And how will I know I’m actually cool? Will I get a discount when I inquire about hiring a Porn star {who spends so much time tweeting, no one will hire her} for a private if she knows how many followers I have?

If I’m a girl {a porn “star” wannabe for sake of discussion}:

Roughly how many followers do I need before I can consider myself the shit?

Should I add some adjectives to my tweet name to make it sound better?

Does it matter if I tell the truth? Or can I add my own details to part of a story I heard on a set?

Does it help to come off sounding more sluttier or less sluttier then I really am? How will I know exactly how slutty I really am?

Is it more important to go to work or to tweet?

Is there a particular sexual act I should brag about that will attract more followers?

Is there a per minute tweet minimum I need before I’m on my way?

What is the best part of the anatomy to post a picture of, even if it isn’t my body?

Should I offer an outrageous sexual favor to the {fill in the biggest number here} person who follows me, strangely, no one wants to pay me to perform the same act in a movie.

Who is the best person to pick a fight with to ensure more followers?

1: My Best Friend

2: My significant other

3: Another wannabe star who I’ve never met, but will work with by the end of the week?

4: Someone I just worked with, and will be hanging out with later that day.

5: Someone already more popular then me?

6: Someone I’ve never met, I just want to their day as shitty as mine?

7: A director or producer who wants to get in my pants but doesn’t want to pay the agents fee?

8: The “reviewer” who didn’t respond properly to my scene where I looked whacked out of my mind on {insert favorite drug here} because I was.

9. The owner of the company I’m under contract to who wants me to act like a bigger whore so he can move more pieces.

10: Myself?

Finally, once I convince myself that I am really cool, or the shit, when I actually have no real friends, am unemployed, no drugs nor skills to get them, then what? Get in line, have some Kool-Aid like the rest of the followers, there’s always tomorrow, or is there?