I knew They Sounded Better Now:

Four guitars worth more than $150,000 were stolen from the Miami Beach home of one of the members of the rock band Creed, police say.

Miami Beach police are asking for the public’s help in the search for the missing instruments, which were reportedly taken May 11 from the trunk of a car that was parked in the driveway of the Miami Beach home.

Police say two of the instruments were custom made and have a combined retail value of $150,000. Police have released a description of the two guitars. One is black with the word “prototype” and the numeral “4” written across the back part of the neck. The other guitar is gold with the words “custom built for Scott Stapp” written on the neck.

The New Mike South Bar:

Sometimes you feel like an orgasm, sometimes you…wait, who doesn’t feel like an orgasm? Soon you may get more bang for your buck when you buy new chocolate bars containing high levels of chemicals similar to those the body releases when sexually aroused, reports The Sun . The chocolate bars currently on sale in Britain contain 660 milligrams of phenyl ethylamine, which is related to dopamine and adrenaline – natural chemicals that heighten bodily sensations and thus allow for easier orgasm. Testers reported orgasm-like highs from eating the chocolate. Consequently, new bars hitting the market soon will contain even more of the synthetic chemical.

Goddess orgasmed just thinking about it.

Tony Randall, Better Known to Most as Felix Unger Dead:

Jack Klugman is still alive (isn’t he?)

SB Writes:

Now that they have announced the new Tera title, you need to come up with your Top 10 Alternative Titles for her DVD. Here are a few to get you started: Clueless, CrackhoTera East of D.P., Land of the Lost, A Woman Under the Influence, Star 2004, Lost in the Ink, Running with the TeraBulls, Lawyers Guns and Money, Club Dread, and naturally Naked Came the Stranger.

I’d just call it boring.

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER Revisited:

OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper,and everybody cries when they sing, “It’s Not Easy Being Green.”

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, “We shall overcome.” Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper’s sake. Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his “fair share.” Finally, the EEOC drafts the “Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act,” retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he doesn’t maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood. MORAL OF THE STORY: Don’t vote for the Poodle.

There Isn’t Much To Write About of Late:

You all know whats happening and you know who the perpetrators are. Fishing and hanging at the beach last week have made me realize just how unimportant all of this seems to people on the outside. I guess I will give some final thoughts on everything…final till something important happens anyway.

Sharon Mitchell:

Some of you think I am calling for her head, that’s not really so, I just think she should resign her current position, stay on as a phlebotomist and maybe a councillor. Her Phd is not really anything of any meaning, the vocational school she got it from doesn’t even require and undergraduate degree and Mitch doesn’t have a bachelors in anything. She isn’t a doctor as in M.D. though she loves to lead people to believe that. This whole situation has to stop with someone and Sharon is that someone.

AIM:

As bad as it is, it’s all we have got….that is until the county and or state takes things over. Why did the infamous Doctor York leave AIM a few months ago? AIM is now a sitting duck,. nobody is trying to save it. With people like Ira Levine making statements like Darren James wouldn’t have tested positive by ELISA until July…well thats both woefully incorrect and very, very dangerous. Lets get some honesty into this organization.

Testing:

Face it y’all there is no test that tells you anything more than you didn’t infect whoever you worked with 30 days ago. The infamous PCR DNA test is known to show FALSE Negatives but I do think it has some use in this biz, I think combined with Orasure before every scene, it’s the best we can do, had Darren Orasure tested his partners chances are we wouldn’t be in this mess. Speaking of Darren when is he going to be a man and defend himself? Maybe tell the truth about how and where he got HIV?

AVN:

Ya I have been a bit hard on them lately but I think they need to have their feet held to the fire. unofficially blacklisting people who worked for Extreme then kissing Blacks ass as soon as the feds pop his sorry ass is just plain wrong. Tim Connelly has done nothing but lie to me, he will smile and shake my hand all the while sticking a knife into spine, a body part I don’t think he possesses. I like and respect paul though. maybe someday they will all find out that they can’t be just a news source and the industry voice all at the same time. They have to take responsibility for their actions and for the actions of those helming the ship over there.

OK thats enough for now…I’m out….