I’d like to take a moment to address your coverage of Mary Carey
First off, it’s nice to see you finally taking an interest in politics.
However, you did not pay attention to her explanations of her new positions.
New position highlights include:
Ms. Carey is against government-provided universal health coverage
Mary feels that since the government can’t provide health care on Earth, it shouldn’t provide healthcare on other planets.
She supports physician-assisted suicide
Mary feels that if a physician wants to commit suicide, an assistant, like a nurse, should be available to help them.
She supports legalizing ferrets
Mary feels that ferrets should be legalized, for medicinal purposes only!
Here’s a Random Sampling of my Emails from yesterday:
“Dude, you get funnier every fucking day”
“You gotta know Nic Andrews to really appreciate how funny that is”
“Your best update ever, it made me laugh until I cried.”
“Hey I like Spongebob”
— Yes but do you prefer him Seared and served with a soy ginger sauce or do you prefer him fried with cocktail sauce?
“South you are out there”
“Was that really on Fark?”
—Yes it was.
Rest in Peace Warren Zevon, talent and wit like yours is a true rarity.
Hamilton Steele, resident Alien continues to point the finger:
Mike South has recently started to point the finger at me, saying that I am the Alien. Technically I am an Alien, but I’m an Alien from Canada and the last I checked that was still part of planet Earth.
But on that note, I have done some digging and discovered evidence that Dave Cummings is the Alien supreme commander for operations on this planet.
1) He looks the part.
2) Dave can say anything and everything with a Wink and a Smile and NOT creap you out doing it.
3) Dave is very aware of contagion. He always brings his own towels and soap to a set.
4) At an alleged 63 years of age, Dave runs on an almost daily basis. His physical fitness and prowess puts most men half his age to shame. Henceforth demonstrating he is out of this world.
5) He never has wood problems. (Come on at 63!!! The warranty ran out years ago)
6) “He gets HOT girls to do what?? At how much??” More girls want to have sex with Dave Cummings than Nick Manning. (Sorry Nick, it’s true)
7) The thickness of his cock. (Not that I care because that would be gay) This explains why he is referred to as the BIG GIANT HEAD.
8) Dave is furry all over his body. (I know he’s not Canadian so the Alien home world must be cold… Hmm Mike and Jimmy D are harry too.)
9) Mr. Cummings doesn’t do drugs, isn’t in rehab or even attending A.A. meetings. Now does this sound like a man that does porn? (Heck even I’m in the program)
10) Finally, Mr. Dave Cummings is a retired military officer. SHIT! THEY HAVE ALREADY TAKEN OVER THE PENTEGON!!
Stop the Alien take over of the Jizz Bizz.
I have to admit that this came as complete surprise to me. In my own words I said this girl was able to suck start a snowmobile in during a Newfoundland storm. But never in a million years would I have guessed that Kimi was really an Alien spy sent to gather information on the Jizz Bizz.
Like before here is my proof:
1) Have you ever seen the size of the objects Kimi can stuff insider herself? Despite how tight it will remain, there has got to be some sort of trans-dimensional vortex in her snatch. (I’ll go out on a limb here, I will be the first one to say that Kimi’s snatch is out of this world.)
2) She lives in the Mid-west. Hey, isn&#-110;t that where all the farmers get anal probed?
3) This girl spends long hours on the Internet communicating with others. Obviously she is gathering information.
4) Kimi has never appeared on a gossip site. (She knows how to keep a low profile)
5) This wanton porn slut portrays herself as a soft-spoken shy little lady. (Now is this a disguise or what?)
6) If you ever ask Ms. Lixx’s opinion about the video, “Alien Autopsy,” she will tell you it’s pure fiction. (Only an alien trying to hide the truth would say that…WE KNOW BETTER!)
7) Kimi can see a meat puppet cumming from any angle. Proof that she must have eyes in the back of her head.
8) She has the ability to assimilate multiple cocks into her body. Thus demonstrating resistance really is futile.
9) People have observed Kimi forget that earth elevators don’t have voice interface.
10) And finally, Kimi pays rapt attention during those endless special effects sequences in any Sci-fi movie.
With each Alien we uncover and reveal to the public we move one step closer to putting an end to their diabolical plot to take over the Jizz Biz.
Taking the fight to their home world.
PS> Swingers, Perverts, Escorts and Pornstars… In my Yahoo Group people actualy meet in REAL LIFE and FUCK!