Faith in Voters

Backstory: I normally like to involve the signature gatherers outside of airconditioned supercenters in arguments that ultimately boil down to me going to hell and/or them being bigots. It starts like this:

Bigot: “Excuse me, do you believe in abstinence only programs in our children’s schools?”

The Eternally Damned: “Actually i don’t and i won’t sign your petition and your little program does nothing but run up the teen pregnancy and STD rate.”

Bigot: “But premarital sex is against God’s will”

The Eternally Damned: “I’m a pornstar”

Bigot: (stuttering, flushed, bulging eyes etc.) “You’re going to hell!”

Or it can go like this:

Bigot: “Excuse me, do you support the Ten Commandments in the courthouse/whitehouse/capital building etc.?”

The Eternally Damned: “Why? Is the coveting of thy neighbor’s ass on the rise?”

Bigot: (not smiling) “American values are slipping.”

The Eternally Damned: “But how do you know if someone is coveting my ass?”

Bigot: “This is a serious matter miss.”

The Eternally Damned: “Then in all seriousness, how are you going to keep someone from being privately jealous of my ass?”

(bigots rarely have responses to this because they don’t like to be compared to the thought police and they know it’s coming…)

Anyway…

A few weeks ago a signature gatherer was standing demurely outside of IKEA and I slowed down to have my usual fun but, lo and behold, it was an issue I agreed with. Gay Marriage. My feelings on the subject are that regardless of whether I participate in or even approve of gay sex, what other people do with their genitals really doesn’t concern me at all, and even if it did concern me, my concern should not be translated into the restriction of their legal rights. There are over 1,000 legal differences between domestic partnership and marriage and for that reason I support gay marriage. Plus, selfishly, any movement for the freedom of “victimless sin” will have my vote. After all I’m a pornstar. I consider issues like gay marriage to be a buffer. If the bigots win that one they will move on to things like, I don’t know… porn?

I’m not saying the adult industry isn’t under attack. Clearly it is. But it is not under attack the way gay marriage is. We are not accused of having a “porn agenda” and politicians don’t give us nearly as much attention on their platforms. Of course I’m sure you can see now why I signed. And when they called the next week and asked if I would volunteer you can probably see why I did that too.

Fast-forward to Saturday: Armed with a clipboard, a sticker and no bra, I stood in front of a Walmart in National City and collected pledges. It should be noted that National City is barely in America and I do not speak spanish. My constituency: Males age 18-112. Religious, atheistic, democrat, republican, black, white, brown, common language or not…. it didn’t matter. If I made eye contact and asked nicely they pledged. Is this a dirty way to get votes? Possibly, but not nearly as dirty as the bigots who were paying signature gatherers to fly in from out of state and using eternal life as a carrot. I can’t completely bash those of us with a clipboard though. In all honesty it was the voters who scared me. There was absolutely no thought process based on a substantial value code that I could see, nothing done because they truly believed it was good for the nation. One side used fear and money, I used hard nipples in a tight shirt, and jesus christ they both worked.

Just so no one takes this too far and thinks I’m “biting the hand that feeds”, let me point out that I was the only person using nipples to get pledges. The other people volunteering on the campaign made do with common sense and loose shirts. They genuinely cared for the cause and were not being paid for their time. I think they also attracted more pledges from people who really supported the issue. I do have a lot of respect for the honest politics I saw in them. But when porn seriously comes under attack I’m taking it to the front lines naked and in stripper heels (;