Real Men Fix Stuff

Ok when real men have a dripping faucet we go to the Home Depot, buy a washer and fix the damn thing, same as when jiggling the toilet handle ceases to work.

It’s in our nature, we fix stuff. We think we can fix anything, all we need is duct tape and WD40.  If it moves and it isnt suppossed to, use the duct tape.  If it doesn’t move but it is suppossed to, use the WD40.

This is the hardest thing for women to understand about real men, if you tell us you have a problem we are going to try to fix it. Doesn’t matter what it is, it’s been programmed into us by millions of years of evolution. If you tell us your toilet won’t stop making that watery noise we tell you to jiggle the handle, if that doesnt work we come over and fix it.

By the same token if you tell us your cat is dying and it will cost you sixty bucks to take it to the vet and have it put to sleep we will offer to do it for free, and because real men are kind to animals we will do it humanely, we will take the cat out and buy a can of tuna fish  put a bullet in the back of its head, quick painless and the cat is in heaven.  You bedwetters are probably going thats sick but let me ask you this….is the cat better outside eating tuna for its last meal or in the vets office where the smells frighten them?  Real men are humane like that, and practical.

Now if you call us and tell us that the latest shallow dirtbag underachiever you were dating left you for your best friend, well we can’t exactly do the cat trick thing with him, he’d probably be dumb enough but even killing a dumbass gets us in all kinds of trouble. So we are going to try and console you, make you feel better, tell you what a scumbag he is and how you deserve better….Of course we know full well you will be out someone just like him next weekend.

The bottom line here is that if you don’t want us to try to fix it, don’t tell us it’s a problem.