I’ve been thinking, lately, about how progressive it would be if prostitution were legalized. I don’t think a person or a society is complete until you delve into every aspect of it’s various functions, and I think we underestimate how much we can learn from the sex worker, besides, of course, the obvious physical kind of education.
Why do we think there is nothing intelligent about sex? We all gauge intelligence by some similar standard, but there are different types of intelligence and sexual intelligence is one of them. It’s a fun thought for me. How many people would lighten up and drop their various airs if talk of sex were more out in the open? We act like it’s not that important, but it is important or we wouldn’t be so caught up in repressing it, in crucifying celebrities who engage in it adulterously. We actually make it overly important by going so far out of the way to indicate how unimportant it is! How would legalized prostitution change the way we treat each other? How much room would it free up in prisons? How many people would be on their best behavior knowing a sex worker could come forward and stand up for themselves when they are beaten and mistreated by a client? How much could we learn from them about our leaders, our church officials and all the pious people who get away so much more easily with pretending with one face and acting out with another just because this type of sex worker has no rights, no voice?
I was really inspired by a story I read earlier this year about a group of French prostitutes who staged a protest in Lyons in 1975 to speak out about crimes against them. According to the story, the police threatened to take their children away from them if they didn’t disperse, and it enraged enough non-sex workers that they joined in the demonstration and made it so the police could not decipher the prostitutes from the non-prostitutes. Now, this story is inspiring for a few different reasons – one, because it proves that women can engage in and demonstrate acts of solidarity with each other over issues such as work equality even when it comes to sex work, and two, because there are, at least, some prostitutes, somewhere in the world, who have a voice. When you have no voice, you have nothing. Animals have more of a voice than sex workers. The only sex workers who have a voice are the ones you see on camera, and they barely make up even a minute portion of the entire work force. They barely make up any part of it at all, and not to insult porn stars, but porn stardom is nothing like being an illegal prostitute. Porn stardom is a fad for most, and for others, it is hardly the hard kind of life one is faced with when you know you can go to jail for trying to make your bills.
I can appreciate the efforts of early feminists who fought for a woman’s right to vote because she owned property and payed taxes. I appreciate those who fought for equal rights on the work front, so that our mothers and sisters and daughters are safer navigating offices and factories. But I wonder, still, when the efforts of equal rights will extend itself to all women. We pity Muslim women for having to hide under veils, yet we force our own women into the shadows by regarding them as irrelevant members of society because they have discovered a way to make a living through the only people who seem to actually care about them, even if it is just sexual. I wonder if feminism, like religion, will ever adapt to current times and encompass more than an outdated idea that only seems to serve the old and immovable few. Elders are wise people who remind us about the past because they have seen what mistakes can be made by not considering the situation from different angles, but passion, charisma and fresh views are needed, too, so that systems keep moving and don’t grind to a halt in the process of too much consideration. Prostitutes have a lot of complexity to offer our culture, if they can speak up for themselves. Again, not to insult porn stars, but actors are a separate breed. All actors, men and women alike, need lots of attention because they lacked even just one good role model to push them and tell them they were great and give them healthy doses of affection and tough love. The need public adulation and a constant stream of fun. Everyone needs attention, don’t get me wrong, I’m just saying that the sex worker who does it illegally is a bit more complicated and battle-scarred than the pampered actor and actress. Real prostitutes experience their performance in real time. There is no yelling, “Cut!” There are no re-shoots or do-overs. There are no crew people around to witness any unfair treatment. Their work is an impromptu journey in role play: nurturer, therapist, masseuse, sex kitten… And they have no protection so they have to get it right the first time. I never felt as equally terrified and fearless as I did as an “escort”. But honestly, not being able to talk about it while I was experiencing it scarred me more than any individual act. Everyone needs to express themselves. Everyone needs a voice. I hope I live to see the day when prostitutes have a voice here. I think that would really be something.
Until it becomes legalized, there are great services like AngelsOfLondon.com. This site gives anyone in London an opportunity to experience what some of the most interesting ladies in the city have to offer. You can have a diverse variety of women accompany you and plan a date that you won’t soon forget. They accept both incall and outcall appointments and the agency prides itself on its remarkably competitive rates. The money you pay is meant for the companionship of your date; any other actions that occur are not representative of the agency.
– Julie Meadows
10 Responses
Wonderful post, Julie. I couldn’t agree more. Criminalizing an individual just because they’re engaging in an act that is deemed (by a few self-righteous vote whores) socially unacceptable is just stupid. Setting up “stings” has got to be one of the biggest wastes of resources in the law enforcement community. And worst, like you point out, it renders the otherwise harmless “criminal” defenseless against far more serious crimes, thus creating a perfect victim for the real criminals. Absolute idiocy.
Me too. It was only recently that I learned that some porn stars perform escort services as well. I think one of Tiger’s women (the porn star) was an escort. But in the same article I think she also denied she was ever an escort. So I don’t get it. The only difference i see between women who escort and women who perform in adult movies is that one’s on camera and the other is private. but it’s still at its root consenting adults having sex. i could make a somewhat better (yet weak) case of banning porn over prostitution yet it’s the complete opposite of what we have in society. so if you’re a porn star and currently or have in the past escorted why hide it? Why does it seem that there is more stigma and shame having sex in private than there is having sex on camera?
and i don’t buy the theory that if prostitution is legal porn wouldn’t thrive. some women were simply god blessed to look f*cking great on camera and will always have fans pay to see them. porn parodies are here to stay and won’t be affected too much i don’t think.
okay enough of my bullsh*t…JUST LEGALIZE IT ALREADY
I totally agree with both of you. I had a friend who got busted in Chicago and she said that the arresting officer acted ashamed of himself. It really is a waste of resources. It takes a group to stand up and say something about it, but if you say something about it you are admitting guilt and you’ll get set up. I’m sure the actress denied being an escort, because you have to, even if you are clearly advertised on a site as an escort. One could certainly say that they only escort clients to dinner and it is perfectly legal, but we all know that once you admit you are an escort that you’re admitting to prostitution… Which makes me wonder, why is “escort” work legal? Ha! I never really contemplated that whole business. Funny though, that’s what got me in the door to doing escort work – the notion that I might actually just be getting paid to hang out on a date with a fan or out-of-towner. Dumbass!
Ugh… why am I such a ‘tard when it comes to the commenting portion of this whole thing? I meant to end the italics at some point. 😀
I can honestly say that legalized prostitution is a good thing. In Denmark, Europe prostitution is legal and has been so for a very long time. There is however a recent movement in political circles trying to make it illegal. This is a misconcieved attempt to control and reduce the number of involuntary prostitutes. Eg women who are bought and sold by various people with the purpose of prostitution in mind.
The politicians however seem to have forgotten that there are already rules and regulations in place to address this issue. Specifically rules that state that the only person allowed to profit from the sale of sex between two individuals it the person selling the sexual service. Eg. It is illegal for me to make money by having women work for me as sex wokers. It is illegal for me to have a house where sex workers can pay me to use the rooms. As i would indirectly be proffiting from other persons prostitution.
But as i said. The politicians have forgotten these details in a “hollier than thou” attitude towards the sex worker industry.
to get back on the whole main topic. Selling sexual services is legal in denmark. some local government administrations even pay sex workers to have sexual relations with people who are disabled in a manner that prohibits them from meeting women. And the sex workers are currently tryng to form their own independent union. In an effort to further improve conditions and get a unified voice towards the public.
Very interesting. That would make for a good story, investigating the places where prostitution is legal. It would make a good documentary, too…
Thank you, Zeiram. I’m amazed at how, as you say, the strategy is still just to further punish the sex worker because people there are profiting off of human slaves – which is another story altogether. Sex slavery is a major epidemic in the world today, but the person still targeted over illegal prostitution is the person with the immediate product, the sex worker, not the pimp. I don’t understand how the pimp’s role is never targeted.
There was a movie poised at the Oscars for several awards on year, and their theme song was featured in a performance. Three 6 Mafia got on the stage and performed, It’s Hard Out There for a Pimp “. I was not a prostitute then, but I still had enough sense to turn to my ex-husband and say, “Oh? It’s hard for a pimp? Are they joking? Right. It is hard to sit around while “bitches” make your money for you. So hard…”
Great Idea Julie! And being the civic-minded person that I am, I’m officially volunteering to do the “field research” for the story. Just get me an expense account, and I’ll travel to all the places prostitution is legal and “interview” various participants. Of course, most of my receipts will probably be hand-written. Oh, and don’t worry about me being corrupted, we all know that… “money exchanged is for companionship only, anything beyond that…blah, blah, blah”
LMAO! I am sick with cold, so I got this a little late, but thank you, Hunter. The passion and selflessness with which you express donating your time to “field research” is commendable and without match. You are a beacon of professional light! 😀
Hey,
Yeah. Luckily here the more pro. minded sex workers are actively trying to form and found a national Sex workers union. That would give them added security in form of social security services. Unemployment help. Legal support etc etc.
I wish them nothing but success!