They say it’s your birthday

Hey, all, it’s Goddess. I got on the computer long enough Christmas Day to check my email, glance at my stats and to get hoodwinked into writing South’s update for him.  Oh, the IM’s always start out innocently enough.  “Merry Christmas!” Yeah, I suckered for that one. Then just as quickly, he had to leave because he was feeding the elderly. I guess that’s what he meant by “the old lady.“ But Santa was very good to me and he gave me that 2 carat diamond ring that I‘ve paid for in blowjobs, so I’m in a generous mood.

We know South was born today, so let’s go back…back…back…in time and see what other *great* (cough, cough) things happened on December 26th, 1957. Let’s check Wikipedia first. They’re always hella reliable. Ok, on this date 50 years ago, Pearl Harbor was bombed,  President Johnson declared a “war on poverty,” and Britney Spears gave birth to her first son. BullSHIT.  Any idiot knows Sean Preston was born in September! Damn, that reminds me. I better get my “Remember Pearl Harbor” clip art up before the day ends. I don’t want to appear unpatriotic.

In 1957, gas was only 24 cents a gallon, Elvis purchased Graceland and proceeded to put the “ack!” in “tacky.”  The Cat in the Hat was released, Pat Boone’s “April Love” was the number one song, and somewhere in Georgia, poor Kathy Strother was attempting to push Mike and his massive ego down the birth canal. That moment marks the last time South’s ego was under control.

I remember once when I was talking with Kathy, I asked her about that day. She said, “That was one of the happiest days of my life.”
I said, “Because it’s the day your son was born?”
And she laughed and said, “Heavens, no! Because it was the day they gave me drugs. Lots and lots of drugs.“ Amen to that.

I wrote some of this last night and I thought I would sleep on it, because I was sure I would wake up with something BRILLIANT to say about South. Mmm, either I shouldn’t have drank Jack Daniels before bedtime or there just isn’t anything brilliant to say about the man.  I did hear that South is heading North for his birthday, so if you should run into him at some respectable strip club and you have the urge to hit on him, here’s a list of his favorite topics: himself, babies, fluoridation, politics, himself, Jebus, himself, saving the whales and little baby seals, himself and himself.

BTW, I think it’s a pretty sad day when South is reduced to posting meme’s. There’s something so incredibly gay about that, and if he starts sharing his “feelings,“ I’m outta here. But I got a kick out of a couple of his responses, such as:  Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
Sandy (F) I shot her a long time ago
Well, I’m guessing he only winged her because she’s still around and still speaking to him.
I liked this one, too:
Where are you right now?
In my office/edit suite/computer room
Edit SUITE?!  That’s tantamount to me calling my trailer an “estate”.

And in conclusion–WAIT! Something brilliant just occurred to me–Happy birthday, old man!