then told her she could redeem herself by watching the Tera Patrick Show and reviewing it for me. “No way she responded I’ll take the chair any day” It was clear that tactic wouldn’t work. So I thought on it. Okay I said if you don’t watch the show and do a review I will never send you another screener copy of one of my movies. She responded “Thank God”.
Finally I pulled out the heavy artillery I have ascertained her home address, and I threatened to come visit her personally and quoted door to door directions to her house from map quest. If there’s one thing Goddess fears more than the electric chair it is the mere thought of me showing up at her house, see for a stalker she is rather skittish about actually MEETING me. She relented and here is the result:
Dear Mr. South,
When you panned poor Tera Patrick two weeks ago for her ‘quality’ of her live show…well, I felt really bad for her. You know that I rarely agree with anything you have to say, so keeping that in mind, I decided to listen to the Tera Patrick show myself and see how it was.
I have good news and bad news. The bad news is the sound kept cutting out every few minutes with my 56k connection. The good news is that ten minutes into Nakita’s “interview,” it cut out and never came back. Not that I didn’t enjoy listening to people tittering at jokes that weren’t even the least bit funny.
I did like the fact that sound and the picture don’t even BEGIN to jive. It reminded me of all those Godzilla movies I used to love and watch as a kid. Or to quote Mr. Goddess, who came into the room while I was watching the broadcast, pointed to Tera and said, “Who’s that blurry guy on the left?”
Tera is a fairly good host but she needs to ask a question then let her guests answer. This is **their** time in the spotlight, not Tera’s chance to tell how cold she was during one of her shoots. She desperately a co-host—one that can keep her focused and on track.
The first part of the show was Devon pimping her movie, then Nikita came on and pimped her part in the movie. Several moments were wasted when Nikita and Tera tried to decide whether or not a 5 inch cock is “big enough”a question sent in by a guy who will never have a chance to fuck either of these chicks, so who the hell cares? I must admit I did enjoy the part where Tera questioned Devon about eating pussy as if she had never seen one herself. “Is a clit hard to find?” It was at this point my eyes glazed over and I must have passed out cuz the next thing I remember was smacking my head against the keyboard. I think that was pretty much the highlight of the show…NO WAIT! I’m wrong. There was one really interesting moment. It was when Tera said she wanted to have sex with Nick, even though Nick was married and his wife was…oh wait forget it. That was on today’s episode of The Young and The Restless. I was wrong. There were no interesting moments.
I was absolutely ASTOUNDED when a guy from Germany emailed into the show. To think that my people are so desperate for entertainment that they’d sit through this? Sigh. Look the point of this whole damn show is to show tit. Who are they trying to kid that it’s about conversation and interviewing? Why not spend the first half interviewing and the last half stripping/kissing/whateverthehellsexualthing they wanna do? Somebody get Tera a pair of those plain brown glasses. They scream “educated woman”! Oh, I forgot…we can’t see her anyway.
I watched The Tera Show as well. I found it amusing when they kept asking for a dollar in order to determine how long five inches is….And Tera claims she has never been a stripper, honey whether you have or not it is in your blood, trust me.
The second part that amused me was when Tera mentioned that when she comes into contact with someone she is strongly sexually attracted to she gets very quiet. Well I have come into contact with Tera on MANY occasions and I have gotten maybe a total of 10 words, this brightens my day…she must be just dying to have sex with me…wonder what that gig pays? I’m up for it if the pay is good and it should be I mean this company has a PR machine that is top notch.
I don’t think these were the parts that were SUPPOSED to be funny though.
By the way the answer to the trivia question was Michael Raven, Yes in a moment of self aggrandizing glory he cast himself as the mad doctor in “Hell House” A move that is the cinematic equivalent of a brain surgeon performing a lobotomy on himself.
And that guy in Germany…it was 4AM in Germany if he emailed that at the start of the show…. Achtung! Gernhardt! Gehst du schlafen! Dieses ist nicht wert das Verlieren einer Nacht des Schlafes
Oh and yes I gave the viewers the chance to win, then after over an hour I emailed in the correct answer. They didn’t announce it but I won.
