Top Ten Reasons For BumFuck
10. That was no bum. That was JimmyD.
09. Michael Raven laughingly cries out, “Honey, the line reads ‘Chew the GUM’.
08. David Aaron Clark was originally booked for the scene at which point the female talent barked out … “David Aaron Clark? I’d rather fuck a homeless guy!”
07. A relieved Sharon Mitchell announces that the girl in question contracted nothing new. Unfortunately, chlamydia, herpes, syphilis, and gonnorhea are now spreading rapidly in the homeless community.
06. Bum overheard sobbing, “I feel like a whore”.
05. Producers couldn’t afford $75 … to book Hamilton Steele.
04. At least it wasn’t one of those “tested” girls all the male pornstars are fucking in Budapest.
03. Bum’s asshole? Female talent thought it was craft table at normal porno shoot.
02. A horrified Dion Giarusso from Red Light overheard screaming: “A bum? We need two bums for double anal!”
01. That was no bum. That was a hobo. Coming soon to www.hobofuck.com.
Feedback on The choking thing:
First, From Carly Milne:
I openly admit I did not have all the facts when I responded to your original post last night, and admittedly, I feel rather foolish having shot my mouth off thinking I was well informed. Clearly I wasn’t. Thank you to everone who has e-mailed me with information that I didn’t have before
Dear Mike,
I have to agree with you 110 fucking percent that the insane dumbass, M Davis, has crossed the line in the new release for Zero Tolerance. What kind of drugs are these stupid mother fuckers on?? Did he continue to fuck her while passed out or did he just admire the dying look on Boo’s face. Get with the program people, the porn industry faces enough problems, without having to answer to the autorities about a god damn snuff film. They claim he is one of the top, but I think they are all sadly mistaken, as he is on the bottom of a deep valley with no way of ever climbing
back to the top. No wonder he hired a PR person to help him explain his stupidity!! Do you really think Carly would agree to this behavior if it wasn’t one of her clients? HELL NO. This behavior is totally fucking wrong, and there will be much hell to pay later when murder charges are pressed, when it all goes bad one day on a shoot. Just wait till some stupid mother fucker tries this shit on his partner, and oops, I fucking killed her, but I saw it in a movie. I can speak from experience, as in high school, I went out with a sweet guy, but then the night turned into total hell, when he tried shit he saw on porn. I am now 35 yrs old and can hold my own!!I dont view porn, but do read your site as well as others just to keep tabs on the industry and gossip. I have a friend in the business, and am afraid for her safety when it comes to assholes like Davis and others like him!! Maybe drug testing should be manditory, along with Aids/STDs.. atleast the people on the set would have a clear head when making
decisions when it comes to their life, as in this case. I agree with you, and have your back to stop this insane fucking shit, before someone dies!! Urge all your fellow pornographers to do the same!! Maybe someone should hold Davis down while fucking him in the ass with a dildo (which he probably already does) and choke the living shit out of him to his last breath. Maybe then what few brain cells that are functioning will help him make better choices in life. Time for his fucking retirement, DEMAND IT and put a stop to all of this now. Losers like him and others should not be allowed in the business!!
Dear Mike,
Like you, I’m quite worried about choking – as I, too, know about how easy it is to compress the carotid artery – I suspect that most porn actors don’t even know there is such an artery – much less what it does. What porn needs is a pro wrestler to teach how to apply a fake choke hold…
But the real problem with even choking is that some idiot is going to do it with his s/o because he saw it on a film – much as kids do backyard wrestling stunts they sew on TV – hitting each other on the head with steel chairs, etc.
Yours,
Dick
Psssst, Mike, it’s Jay, in the art dept, are you there?: Just to let you know, regarding Mark Davis, and Zero Tolerance, it’s not like anyone reads my column, but two people died last year from that “consentual” activity, and charges have been filled and you can quote me on that.
So far only Carly has actually defended this practice and she recanted. I would like to point out that Mark Davis may indeed be ignorant of the facts here, I bet prior to my post he couldn’t have found the Carotid Artery with “The Circulatory System For Dummies” That of course, will not exonerate him in a manslaughter trial.
