Jesus Now A Contributor

I was chatting with my buddy the other day and he said to me, Mike, I have found Jesus!

My reply was yayaya I know he was under the sofa cushion, that or he is mowing your lawn. he said no dude, this is no joke, he speaks to the world almost daily for those who want to hear him.

I’m like Okay I will bite. He said no this is real dude he is on twitter.

I said Jesus is on twitter. He said Yes.

He gave me the link and sure enough, there he was, with bits of wisdom that made him President George W Bush all time best philosopher, he has wit and wisdom….check out a few of his pearls of advice.

I shot a man in Reno. Then brought him back to life.

Happy Mothers Day, Mom. I can’t thank you enough for the nickname “Little Lamb”

Don’t thank Dad it’s Friday. It’s not a miracle anymore.

I could totally take Yoda.

Just put a down payment on a Harley Davidson so I can finally hang out with Hells Angels! Dad will be proud.

Such a beautiful day out, I may just walk to Hawaii.

I never liked George Bush. Ever.

Having a dinner party tonight. I’ve got a can of tuna and a loaf of wonder bread….Hmm.

Special request from Dr. King. He says “The 60’s are over. Stop Dreaming. Do some shit.”

Well when I read it and looked him up I saw that he follows no one, but hundreds of thousands follow Jesus, and I realized I should too. I mean it’s my duty to spread the word right? And he seems like a pretty likable guy too.

So From now on when Jesus has something to say it will immediately post in his column on this site.

Praise the Lord!