Exxxotica Miami 2009: Sun, Sluts & Fun

I got back from Florida late last night after de-compressing from the Exxxotica show with friends in St. Pete for a few days.  This was my first ever show I have attended in the adult biz and let me tell you, it certainly won’t be my last.  First and foremost I would like to extend a very warm thank you to Clips4Sale owner Neil Orkin, his beautiful wife (who, like me, has INCREDIBLE taste in shoes and a corresponding NEED to buy them) and his hilarious father Abe.  They were so gracious to me and put me up in the Sheraton 4 Points right on Miami beach, only two doors down from Mike.  We checked in, changed clothes and rode the elevator to the marbel-adorned lobby, walked through past the bar and “viola” the beach….in all its blue and teal and aquamarine glory.  The sand was white as talcum and the water was warm as a comforting bath after a long winter’s day.  The excitement started that first day, Thursday, before the show even started.  I was laying on the beach, topless in a Wicked Weasel thong of course, soaking up the rays as passers by stared very inconspicuously at my ass and boobs.  I rolled over to see a throng of paparazzi walking down the beach towards ME….just kidding…they were following the blond guy from “Grey’s Anatomy” as he walked from the hotel next to ours across the beach to the jet-ski rental booth.  He rents his jet-ski and putters out to sea as the twenty five or so photographers and videographers follow like lemmings, waste deep in the Atlantic, trying to snap pics AND keep their very expensive cameras out of the water.

So I am laying on my back with my boobs in all their glory and a nice paparazzi with a foreign accent (his name was Fred) comes up to me and says: “you look like Lindsey Lohan, would you mind if I take your picture?”  Now of course I am as scared of having my picture taken as I am of a penis…or penises…and so he proceeds to snap off a dozen or so shots of me and my girls.  After he finishes he hands me his card and he was from TMZ, the television show.  He tells me he is going to try to get some of the pictures posted on TMZ.com….I will keep you posted.

And now…..the show.  The Exxxotica show was raucous, raunchy, loud and FUN !  We were at the Clips4Sale booth, sandwiched between Bang Bros and their “Bang Bus” and a local strip club that had live girls all weekend on a pole promoting the “Miss Nude South Florida” show.  There wasn’t a booth in the place that got more attention, had larger crowds or had more girls getting their picture taken than our booth.  Ashley Fires, Jade and me were ROCKIN’ the place for three days straight….from posing with men, women and couples to signing autographs and me, getting tied up to a chair while Ashley gave me an orgasm in front of the throngs of people that assembled to watch.  Everytime we brought the ropes out, the photographers, videographers and gawkers came out like sharks in bloody water.  I LOVED every minute of it….especially the “forced orgasm” (btw…I’ll let you in on a little secret – I squirted).

We can draw a crowd!

With The beautiful Ashley Fires!

I got to meet Ron Jeremy..what a cool guy.  He asked us to party with him on Saturday night after the show in his hotel room but we were so tired after being in our stripper heels for seven to eight hours a day.  I got a couple of great pics with him including one where he surprised me and pulled my dress down quicker than Jesse James could draw a revolver and bit my nipple.

A couple with my leggy booth mate and Mike South Exclusive, Jade!

I also got to get body painted on Saturday by an incredibly talented artist named Pashur…. what a great job he did.  I must have posed for literally thousands of pictures over the course of three days.

Body Painting By Pashur!

The show culminated on Sunday evening and we then proceeded to have dinner on Abe at a wonderful Chinese restaurant just off the beach.  We had an incredible time, shared some great stories, Abe told some of the funniest jokes I’ve ever heard and drank GREAT wine.  The perfect ending to a perfect weekend.  As tired as I was after standing in my six-inch heels for three days straight I had the GREATEST time!  I cannot wait for the next show…hopefully we will be going to LA Exxxotica.  And Mike, last but certainly not least…..thank YOU for thinking of me and taking me along.  I hope I made you proud.