My heartfelt thanks goes out to Timcase. If I had known he was so eloquent I would have treated him with greater respect on Quasarmanrants.com. All the best to you and the Fox’s.
A Eulogy for QuasarmanRants.com (written by Tim Case)
Gather ye together now, my online friends…web surfers and raincoaters…porno professionals…perverts and rampant degenerates…fellow travellers on the information highway to hell…we are here today to bow our heads, remember and memorialize the passing of a much-beloved website, Quasarmanrants.com.
It is difficult, I know. Difficult and sad for us all. The memories come quickly, and it seems impossible to accept that the days of holiday-oriented, silver-thonged Fritz the Cat gifs have suddenly ended without warning. ‘Why?’ we ask.’Where will we go now? What shall we do? Where will we turn for our porn-related humor? The Quaze-y contests and stories from the Metro sets, the Tyce Bune/Viagra-related cracks, the bizarrely morphed images of Michael Adams’s Uncle Fester-ish noggin, the homicidal, vacuous threats from Jeremy Steele (porn’s answer to T.S. Eliot), the heartwarming anal updates from the Kerkove household, the insipid behavior of porn prima donna Brooke Lane and that opinionated trollop Kayla Kleevage. Thomas Zupko’s ire. Voodoo Circus’s schedule. Gene Ross’s edifying presence. Gang bangs. Bare breasts. Mike South. Houston. Can all of this really be behind us now?’
I know it seems unfair. I know it will not be an easy task. Yet we must find the strength, the inner resolve, the determination to endure. Quasarman is gone now, his internet presence ascended into the firmament to take his rightful place at the right hand of Luke Ford. And we are left here, as earthbound as Ron Jeremy’s navel, asking ourselves “Why?”.
There can be no easy answers. No simple understanding for those of us now left behind, lonely and abandoned by our directorial shepherd.
Let us pray…
“Oh Lord, grant us the wisdom and the peace of mind to endure in the face of this recent hardship, the loss of our good friend Quasarmanrants. Allow us to recall the humor, the pleasant jocularity, the wholesome imagery his online presence always conjured up on our screens. Allow us to forget the failings – the infrequent updates, the shamless self-promotion, the pimping of Tyce Bune, the nearly-unconscious manlove inherent in Quasar’s need to run unclothed pictures of Fritz the Cat on a regular basis.
Lord, bless us and keep us safe.
In Harry Weiss’s name we pray…
Amen.
Goodbye, Quasarman. You will be sorely missed.
Thank You Tim Case for that moving eulogy.
