Year End Observations

1. In a down economy, I am much more attractive to women. I felt like Brad Pitt walking through the local “upscale” plaza mall last week while I was Christmas shopping. My advice to men looking to meet women who would ordinarily be out of their league: Walk around a mall carrying a shopping bag. Preferably a bag from Nordstrom or better.

2. I learned from an infomercial in the middle of the night that using moisturizer will dry out my face. Then on the very same channel 30 minutes later I watched another infomercial that said not using enough moisturizer will dry out my face. From there, I switched over to another infomercial and spent my monthly moisturizer budget on a ShamWow where I was promised no leftover moisture whatsoever.

3. Gene Ross doesn’t like AVN and Scott Fayner has admiration for Taylor Rain. There. I saved you some reading for next year.

4. I have been taking advantage of some planned downtime to temporarily relocate to my native northern California and use the away from LA experience to finish up some writing and put the final brainstorm on some unfinished projects. What started out as “just allowing myself to relax for a little while” has turned into a full scale Jim Morrison lost weekend. I have gained so much weight lately up here, I wouldn’t be surprised if David Chase shot a harpoon up my ass from New Jersey in attempt to cast me as an extra in his Sopranos big screener. Suffice it to say, I don’t want to be “the fat guy” walking around AEE this year. I’m skipping Vegas in favor of a treadmill and cardboard flavored Healthy Choice frozen lasagna meals.

5. There is STILL a huge hole in the porn blogosphere without the great Jimmy D.

All the best to Mike, Kayden, Goddess, and you this upcoming new year. May your vaginas stay tight and your wallets even tighter…

24620cookie-checkYear End Observations

Year End Observations

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2 Responses

  1. You realize that weight gain is Universal retribution for your “fucking the fat girl” line, right, Steve;)?

    Happy New Year to you…and to fat girls everywhere!

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