Every once in a while, I like to stroll through the high society grocery store and push around a gold plated shopping cart while staring at the bionic titted kept women with “Juicy” spelled across their asses. Technically, I could just shop at the Safeway down the street and buy the same groceries for $50.00 cheaper, but why deprive myself of the great mood lighting, the live band in the cereal aisle, and the sushi bar/brothel.
I was cruising the fine liquor section of the store when I came across a 202 year old bottle of Cognac that was listed at $5200.00.
This story has nothing to do with porn, so I offer my apologies. I just can’t imagine what kind of asshole buys a bottle of booze from 1806? For all you know, George Washington could have pissed in that bottle, or some disgruntled slave might have jerked a load in it to get revenge on some mean ol’ cracka who was liberal with his whip that day. In the end, how can the store guarantee this shit is even drinkable? I know… This is probably the lamest posts ever written on MikeSouth.com. I’ve just become obsessed with telling everyone I know about this bottle of booze like I’m selling Amway or something. I think I need a vacation, or maybe I’m going crazy after having my “senses assaulted” from all the Max Hardcore porn I’ve been watching.