I’ve never met a vagina that I didn’t love; they are sperm swallowing, life-producing wonders that I never tire of. But it seems to me that membership to this club is becoming more and more exclusive. I’ve seen firsthand the rise of the cuckold and how the normalization of homosexuality has made such activity a shameless recreation among the youth, but it’s those who consider themselves straight that I’m beginning to believe don’t really like pussy.
As a porn star, I’ve seen and experienced just about every kind of pussy imaginable. Young and old, fat and thin, those with great dangling lips and those whose clit hides within. They come in all colors and flavors too, and so long as they’re clean I enjoy them right through.
I’ll have a vagina with that shake
Recently I decided to dedicate a social media feed to vaginas. I’d had enough of T and A and wanted to focus on my favorite ride at the amusement park. But I was not prepared for the backlash. It would seem that copious consumption of barely-legal porn has created an outspoken generation who ridicule and gag at the sight of any vagina that doesn’t look like a bloomin’ Barbie doll.
I don’t know if these twats just lack real-life experience or if they actually played with dollies because their misguided mommies were afraid of raising neanderthals like me. Whatever the case, I am left questioning if they really like vagina at all. Because from my perspective they all sound like a bunch of whiny pussies. If they were all a one-woman type of guy and this was how their lady looked, there would be some honor in their exclusionary preference. But sadly, my impromptu poll was made on an adult site, not a church bulletin board.
These ‘men’ will never know the different textures, smells, or tastes of femininity at its core. They are hooked on a fast-food chain version of a vagina, and will never experience the wonders of home cooking or a 4-star restaurant because they are afraid to even try. Just like fast food, the totally hairless, labia deficient, chemically douched, carbon copy pussy experience only leaves you only momentarily satisfied and never satiated. For the habitual knuckle-shuckler, I guess it’s enough. But for men who truly love vagina, it’s barely an appetizer.