I know this appeared yesterday on Buzzfeed but she also sent it to me to run, and after reading it I felt that it should be read because she has first hand experience. My policy is to not comment editorially on another authors post but there is a lot in this post that I do agree with. Read on and Thank You Lisa Ann, you are a welcome addition here.
My James Deen Story
By Lisa Ann
I met James Deen at the perfect time. It was 2005, James was a hot 19 year old, previously working as a Barista at Starbucks, before he stepped into the MILF Boom in the industry. I was making my return into the business and when you add the hot, young guy & ME the Milf , we had movie magic. James and I worked well together for years. James did all of my firsts with me, any scene I was too nervous to do with anyone else, I insisted on James. This lasted for some really good years, but like normal sexual relations, on or off set we grew apart. As I got older and more comfortable with my sexuality, I desired softer more intimate sex, and as you all know, that’s not the norm in porn. It was a battle for me to not have directors try to push me or convince my male talent to do things to me that I did not want done. James would never do that to me, I always had his trust.
Then came the time when we had too much sex. On and off camera and well we lost our sexual chemistry, we bickered a bit on set over our sexual style and what I later realized was this. Male performers shooting 20-25 sex scenes a month deal with way more variables that the girl, like me, who was shooting 5 days a month and always picking my co-stars. The male performers often have to work with girls they are not into, or vice versa. When James and I did our last scene together, it was clear to me that our spark was gone and we had grown in a different sexual direction. He did like more aggressive sex than I did, that’s a fact, BUT SO DOES THE WORLD.
When I told James NO- that meant no, we never had an issue. But no girl wants to be complaining during sex, that’s no fun and not hot for the viewer. James was on his own sexual journey and it was clear to see, the same companies that are now claiming to turn their back on him after these internet allegations, were the same companies hiring him to shoot these style scenes, day after day after day.
This new sexual climate in porn is a lot more aggressive, with a lot less intimacy. Go find some movies from the 90z and watch the sex. That’s just more my style. This does not mean either style is wrong or right, the beauty of sex it is your choice how you share it.
When James and I did our last scene together nothing changed for us. He was never aggressive to me; he never forced me to do anything or tried to change my mind. He would never have disagreed with my needs, wants or my sexual style in general. We just grew apart, but remained friends and I would always like to see him at events. See what you may not know about James, he has a great sense of humor. One of the many draws that keep him working all the time. He is fun to be on set with, cracks jokes with the crew all day and keeps things really lite! I love that. Good sex and laughter at work, come on.. Who doesn’t want that?
When I was producing for my own company James and I still didn’t work together, why am I telling you this, here is why- I made a choice, I surveyed the situation, I evaluated and when it no longer fit with me, I made a change. That was my choice; it was also the choice of the product I wanted to release. My brand, my style, no slight on James. So, you can do your homework and see yeah, I saw what was happening, BUT I also know what I know. James was and is always getting enough sex, scenes and work. In my opinion he doesn’t need to force himself on anyone, nor would he want to. As you see, he never once tried to push me to work with him again. It was understood, respectfully.
Flash forward to now. Over the Thanksgiving Holiday I notice James Deen’s X Girlfriend has posted some tweets that accuse him of something really severe. In a matter of hours I am getting hit up by news wires to interview, quickly after that 2 other girls in the industry we making the same statements. This took off and my mind was blown. Now this is real, from a couple of tweets, with no police reports or charges pressed, this is now on the news in the news and everyone is talking about it. How can this be? No one has real facts, where we live in a country where we are innocent till proven guilty, how is James Deen being shunned by the world over some tweets. Just tweets. No paperwork, no police reports, no action taken.
What came clear to me was Twitter war.. I lived though one, it was brutal, and it still surfaces from time to time. It invaded every space I have, mentally, physically, with family, friends. It was the fastest growing, most toxic virus I have ever seen in my life. We have gone so far as to actually believe tweets from strangers. With no real fact checking, no back-story on relationships with the people involved. Scorn people now use the Internet & social media as their weapon to hurt others. Sadly it works. It hurts people, ruins lives, and affects their families and their futures. I hope that in the future we can put some laws in place that can protect us online. This level of public shame is so unacceptable. What is worse, living in the darkness. I spent the weekend thinking about how James must feel , what his family is going through and how alone he feels in the industry at this time.
My twitter war inspired me to completely disconnect from the industry. I was planning on still producing and directing movies as well as helping young talent getting into the industry. My production company alone fed a good 25K a month into the industry in production costs, hiring talent, camera crew, editors, make up artists, locations etc. That was my solid contribution and that could have continued.
That all changed when I stood up on that stage this February at the XBiz Award show to present an award, I was heckled, and told I was an old cunt and no one wanted me in the industry anymore. That night erased my 24 plus years in the industry. I spent days online reading hateful tweets from talent, producers and people I knew for years, never had a beef with, they just jumped on the hate bandwagon. It was dark. Of all that I have been through, it was the darkest, most painful time of my life.
February was not that long ago and I still deal with remnants of the harassment, the occasional death threat, indirect but direct tweets. The sense of pride others feel trying to ruin some ones life on social media concerns me on every level, so I decided to reach out to James Deen and see where his head is at. How he is feeling, what he is being told his legal option are etc. His reality is similar to what mine was. Out of pain we will fight, we will burn through an incredible amount of money and time with court, the problem is the reality that the tone never goes away. This message will still be out there about James. He will always be judged, shamed and now in a business he was successful in since 2004, the reality is he being pushed out by some tweets, that simple, some tweets- sounds absurd right?
My point here is this- We are all innocent till proven guilty. No one can be legally proven guilty from tweets, yet theses tweets have made him guilty in the eye of society. It is sad to see someone I have known for 10 years going through something like this. I may have more empathy because of my recent situation, but please have some compassion everyone. If you don’t have compassion, ok have some common sense. Defamation of character is a punishable act. So everyone out there running with this story should be a little fearful out the out come for them.
This is now just another concern with trust, friendships go wrong and twitter wars start, relationships end and accusations are posted online. Is this a risk we all want to take? Without facts to back up these statements, we can’t just assume. Is this the next level break up? The new norm? Not if we don’t let it, but it is up to every individual.
I was not present and I do not know what happened in any of these situations posted online. I am merely playing devils advocate here, telling my story and hoping to just give another perspective to those of you out there aware of this story and not quite sure what to make of it. I am not trying to get involved, but at the same time, when everyone turned on me, it was dark & lonely and I don’t wish that on anyone.
47 Responses
Lisa Ann Talks About James Deen https://t.co/eX4cZogXUv
She says ,”When I told James NO- that meant no”. That says more about him than all the other bullshit, that he had to be told that. When you have girls coming out, who gain nothing by coming out. How many have to come out before she says ,hmm maybe this is true. The way many in this industry seem to be going out of their way to protect him, really turns my stomach.
Is there any real evidence he raped girls (bruises, pictures, police reports, etc…). Or is it just tweets?
I don’t think anyone can deny at this stage that Deen take girls to their limits (whatever that may be). He listened to Lisa Ann’s NO and she got to the point of not wanting to have sex with him anymore. Everything is on the up and up there.
So, we get down to the implication that a lot of girls have to say STOP to Deen. So, is he ignoring these orders…. some girls seem to say he is, Lisa Ann speaks for herself and says he respected her boundaries.
This is a very well written article; although I wonder if she is being too presumptive to defend her friend before letting this all play out. I do not like how this started with twitter shit and more twitter shit and nobody has actually taken any legal steps. If this just turns into a twitter pissing contest then nobody looks good (both Deen or the women).
Sorry to hear about Lisa Ann’s experiences after her social media stuff. We saw some of it, I did not know it got so bad that she has dropped some of her plans.
@karmafan
No, there isn’t. And while I err on the side of the women in rape allegations, especially in light of Deen’s reputation, this will end with the girls not getting much results if it is just twitter bullshit. Although, I suppose companies firing him would be justice in the minds of some of them.
I think the more intriguing part is how quickly companies dis-avowed him. They obviously know what is going on and don’t want to be perceived as defending him.
It does take courage for one of the most well known porn women in the world to be defending Deen; at least you can say Lisa Ann is a friend who will stand by you in your darkest days. I hope Deen appreciates this.
I just wish Stoya filed a police report or at least a civil action first; we are learning the hard way that announcing rape allegations on twitter do not work out well for anyone involved.
This reminds me why I hate Twitter, will not have my own account, and hope it goes away one day.
Lisa Ann Talks About James Deen https://t.co/VefdhHRfjn via @mikesouth1226
If you have Sirius listen to Joanna Angels interview yesterday on Jason Ellis. And have a box of tissues ready, she is brave.
First off @LisaAnn absolutely killed it with this piece. She is eloquent in her writing, yet gets her point across perfectly. I to this day have not seen a Lisa Ann film, but she seems like that rare type of girl that will not only talk about sex with you, but sports, politics and other things. I’d love to get her view on WHAT HAPPENED TO BELLE KNOX? But maybe that is asking too much?
In America, people are so PC that they consider things you post on the internet the exact same thing as saying it in person. I personally use my facebook to rant, rave and express things I normally couldn’t say without getting punched in the jaw a couple of times. Isn’t that my first amendment right to say what I please?
Now lies are another thing. James Deen has been slandered without so much as any proof. There is no text from Deen telling Stotya or the others to keep her mouth shut. The only 2 girls who have come out besides Stoya both have pretty bogus claims.
Lisa Ann pretty much said in that essay what I have been saying since this news first broke. I LOVE the hardcore stuff. Love it. Love seeing the girls broken, destroyed and crying while they cum. Why? Don’t ask me, I don’t know. But if Lisa Ann doesn’t want to be in those films, thats her right. There is no one in porn forcing these girls to do facialabuse and gangbang scenes. Maybe some are being coerced, but none of them are being forced and these people need to realize that it is their body they can do whatever the hell they want with it.
Something tells me at the very least there might be a stricter guideline as to obvious consent in the future. Like literally every aspect of a scene laid out in writing and then signed by the participants.
You like it because you are a misogynist.
Also folks are saying these “rapes” he supposedly committed occurred off screen and in their private lives. Kink video tapes the girls both before an after a scene saying the scene is good and they were ok with what was done to them. Can’t get more cut and dry then that.
I know Lisa Ann’s heart is in the right place, but the James Deen accusations go far beyond angry tweets. Multiple women, not just ex-girlfriends, have published detailed accounts of abuse that occurred in both their personal and professional lives. Sure, there’s a remote possibility that every single detail of these stories was fabricated, but in a post-Cosby world, do we really want to take that chance?
Here it is full interview:
http://jezebel.com/joanna-angel-details-ex-boyfriend-james-deens-alleged-a-1745916019
original source here: http://blog.siriusxm.com/2015/12/02/joanna-angel-talks-about-sexual-assault-accusations-against-ex-boyfriend-porn-star-james-deen/
I’m glad to hear Lisa Ann’s voice in this matter. I’m glad that Deen respected her enough to respect her boundaries. Lisa is very open and candid, she is not making any judgements about who did what, and she is acknowledging there is a Deen problem, and hopefully Deen will take this candidness and realize not only what an angel Lisa is, but that he should take a long look at himself in the mirror, and figure it out all out. Can Deen redeem himself?
“I hope that in the future we can put some laws in place that can protect us online”
They would be just as impotent as rape laws and likely to compound all the harms Lisa Ann aptly described. People would be saying he likes it or he would have posted ‘no rape accusations’ his bio, where’s the police report, it’s a PR stunt he’s looking for attention, wants to drive traffic to stagnant sites gathering dust like forgotten tchotchkes…..consumers want it …no one is forcing him to use social media …blah blah blah
What else to add? What she is saying is obvious: innocent until proven guilty. Not only i have said it since the first min, but i have also added, and i repeat it, that if he will be proven guilty all these industry “Gods” who are dropping him are equally responsible, because if he will be proven guilty it is obvious that they knew well before. If he will not be proven guilty, those same “gods” will have to run and hide for having ruined a person based on unproven allegations. Once again, the industry is going to result very shady, no matter the outcome. Once again, whatever the outcome, the usual suspects will come out “clean” and will keep keeping the status quo.
I would like to add a little information regarding something Ms. Angel said in her last interview regarding her relationship with JD. She mentioned that twice she woke up and J was on top of her and choking her. She also said that he didn’t remember it the next day. For those that may not know, there is a sleep disorder called Night Terrors (in the sleep walking family) and violent actions often accompanies this disorder. A small group of children get this, a higher percentage of boys, and they usually grow out of it after a couple of years. Although a very small percentage don’t and carry it on to adulthood. I have no idea if JD has the disorder, but for people that don’t know about this I thought I’d share. It doesn’t make someone a bad person, basically they’re fighting off their bad dreams and whatever chemical that’s produced while we sleep to keep us from physically moving when we have a nightmare is in short supply or doesn’t work in their body.
RT @MikeSouth1226: Lisa Ann Talks About James Deen https://t.co/eX4cZogXUv
LIsa Ann, with all respect, I think that your situation with James Deen may be exceptional because of the person you are. Everything I have seen you doing and saying shows me a strong woman who is sure of herself and plays equal to the men in the industry (if not ahead of many of them). You don’t appear to take shit from anyone, and with your time in the industry you know better than most not to get talked into stupid shit. Quite simply, you don’t have the mentality or the attitude to be a victim – and if you were, you would not shut up about it. You were part of that 50% of his porn career that appears to have been relatively straight and normal, where he was working with equals and had no standing to be the big man.
The rest, well, you can see that many of the girls coming forward at this point are newer to the business (at the time of the issues) or are generally easier to manipulate and lead into things. Like anyone who takes advantage, they prey on the weaker people. Pretty much all of the girls complaining appear to have been in that category, at least at the time of things happening.
I feel for you for what happened to you online. One of the sad facts of porn is that it attracts many of the people who flunked out of everything else in life. It attracts suitcase pimps, users, and abusers… it always has and always will. What they did to you online (and in person) is terrible, An organized campaign against you for no reason and with no basis in fact is a horrible thing. Social media does encourage this sort of revenge, unfortunately.
However, in James Deens case, let’s be fair. The discussion has been out there for a while. Farrah Abraham brought the subject up quite a while ago, and most people blew her off because she is, well, a true porn outsider, someone looking to use porn to promote their brand and not because of any other connection to the industry. She made it quite clear that she was put into some uncomfortable situations. There were other rumors and discussion, but nothing surfaced.
What you saw happen the last week or so is that finally someone decided to talk and make it public. That act encouraged others to do the same, realizing that they were perhaps not alone in this. The accusations are incredibly serious, as they represent, beyond the shameful acts, an incredibly huge breech of the trust that exists in the fantasy land of porn. Safe words, stop words, the ability to say no when you do not want to do something in a scene, those should be all well respected through the industry. Any time someone may not be paying attention, it’s no longer just a personal problem, it’s an industry problem.
The companies who have distanced themselves from James Deen feel strongly enough about this that they do not want to take a chance being associated with him any longer. They don’t need a conviction, they don’t need to see him locked up before the make that choice, they make that choice when an association with someone is no longer to their benefit. Right or wrong, it’s how the world works. Social media only amplifies and speeds up the process.
Is it a rush to judgement? Of course it is. I am sure that James today is suffering greatly from being knocked solidly off his little industry pedestal, for something that is perhaps nothing more than a misunderstanding between people. But our society treats accusations of rape and sexual misconduct seriously, even when coming from what many would say are “slutty porn girls”. Even they (like you) have the right to say no.
This is not a good situation for anyone. If the charges are true, you can only imagine how many victims there could be – even girls who don’t really consider themselves victims but were taken advantage of. If the charges are entirely false, a man’s career has been harmed and his future changed for no reason. I would say, however, that the speed that even extreme production groups like Kink have moved away from him is a pretty good indication that they may have already heard the stories and dealt with the fallout. We probably will never know the full story.
@rawalex Very well said, thoughtful critique.
Another one comes forward, Lily LaBeau, corroborated with Derrick Pierce and a third anonymous woman:
“Pierce said he remembers the crew tending to LaBeau’s injured jaw. Sometime after that, he said LaBeau looked at him and mouthed the words, “Help me.” Pierce said he then lightly asked Deen to leave the scene and let him take over, and Deen did.”
http://www.vocativ.com/news/256579/james-deen-new-allegations/
“LaBeau emphasized multiple times that she believed this incident should be used as evidence that the industry needs better safeguards to protect performers, not just to condemn Deen. “The thing is, James isn’t the only one who’s crossed boundaries,” she said. “James is the one that was the worst, but there’s been other ones. It’s not just James and that’s the problem.”
@Laura
PTSD might fit better than night terrors for the he’s nuts camp unless they’re gearing up to add he’s a bed wetter too. (pg 87 psych 101) reading on to the next chapter …the cycle of grief is explored further…did you know they have stuff on battered women syndrome too?
No doubt there are people writing up scholarly tomes dreaming of the day they’re called to be the paid expert on ‘justified tweeting’ defenses.
How many busses need to run over Deen to restore his victims? How many victims does it take to validate a tweet? Who decides how many pounds of flesh he owes? Bottom line social media can’t agree whether it’s day, night or what time it is and bringing up GMT only makes that shit more complicated.
@lurkingreader @laura I will say this, in defense of Deen (ugh, but I must) porn world is not real world. There are different social norms that porn world follow, that civilians do not. There are more likely incidents of polyamory, kink, predatory and victim behavior, and social climbing. (not moralistic finger waging here, i’m using terms that are used in psych social academic research) Really messed up behavior gets rewarded in porn world, because money talks, and so does rough em up tough guys that have been around a long time. I’m just saying, it’s a whole different world – Deen may have started out as a normal man, but due to enviorment and social factors, as well as personal choices he has made – his career and identity (as all porn performers do) become warped in order to adapt to this new enviorment. It does not justify his behavior, but typically if you want to go the scholarlly route look up some psych-social articles at your local library which will have a database subscription (expensive as hell you do not want to be paying per scholarly article, trust) and poke around a little bit. You will see an interesting pattern in porn behavior, that is a subject of interesting research. Typically the nerds in the ivory tower focus on sex work as in street hookers, but patterns are there none the less.
In this mad, mad world, we all get a little fucked up from what we experience. But remember y’all, its your choice on how that shapes you as a human being, and you have the choice every second, every day to do good or bad. Also, I’m recommending the famous Zimbardo prison experiment to everyone who has a casual interest in this, and who is not aware of that research.
I hear you, but I have a child with night terrors and an adult cousin.. and I wanted to add this to the mix more to shed light for others that may experience the situation.. it’s real..it happens.. it’s scary..doesn’t mean your child will grow up to be a rapist.. hope that helps clear up my intentions..not looking for defenses strategies.
@laura Ok tmi time. PTSD and night terrors sufferer here, prosazin is a very easy fix for that. I have thrashed around, tossing and turning night after night, depends on what’s going in the dream. But anyways, I’ve never woken up and choked someone in my bed, never abused anyone that I loved or had a relationship with.
You are on the right track Laura, we are talking about deep psychological quirks here. But, trauma can put a hold on memory. Like a literal pause button, and memories may come after the fact. My trauma pause button didn’t go off until 2 or 3 years after the fact, before which I remembered nothing of the incident. That will happen with Deen too, when he lies awake at night by himself. The dreams will come.
I hate when I see a scene and the male is behind the girl pounding away while he also has his foot on her head driving the poor girl’s head into the carpet or bed. To me that seems so degrading to the female talent and crosses the line into humiliation.
@karma There is a lot of disgusting porn out there. I know kink shaming is taboo in a sex positive community like this, but I agree with you on your point. I’ve mentioned Erika Lust before as a director I really admire, because she hires talent that seem to have physical chemistry and there is often a lot of smiling and generally, relaxed enjoying type of faces. If I’m gonna watch porn I’m gonna watch it because the people are enjoying it together, not this other sick sh*t. I gotta tell ya, the best sex I ever had was with a man who said he only watched 1 porno in his life. Not sure what it was, maybe it sick. Anyways. Porn sex aint real sex, it just meant to look sexy, like Lisa Ann said in her interview.
Awe very thoughtful responses Ivy.. thank goodness I had taken physiological psychology before having a child or I wouldn’t have had a clue what was happening. Even still, I had to do much research to really figure it out. I’m very sorry to hear you had a traumatic backstory, you sound like one wonderful person. I appreciate your patience in explaining the insiders view of the conditioning of porn. You didn’t say this exactly, but I can only imagine that it can take its toll and possibly change someone. But yes, we’re still responsible for our actions.
Awe very thoughtful responses Ivy.. thank goodness I had taken physiological psychology before having a child or I wouldn’t have had a clue what was happening. Even still, I had to do much research to really figure it out. I’m very sorry to hear you had a traumatic backstory, you sound like one wonderful person. I appreciate your patience in explaining the insiders view of the conditioning of porn. You didn’t say this exactly, but I can only imagine that it can take its toll and possibly change someone. But yes, we’re still responsible for our actions.
@laura I’m a civilian I’ve never done any sex work, but I’ve known people who have. I’ve known women who were both equally weak and strong, and you know what when you have time to heal, you figure out that you can get up again and roll with the punches. I’m using my experience of a trauma survivor, to lend my voice to those in the sex industry, who by the very nature of their work must stay silent or face abuse and retaliation. There’s crazy girls in stripping, porn and hooking. There’s smart ones, dumb ones, just take out sex worker and replace it with human being. They’re just like everyone else, but they have a unique experience that is often ignored.
One only needs to read the comments on this blog post to understand why the victims are so reluctant to bring their accusations to the courts. Even on a blog about the porn industry, the denial is so strong that people would rather believe ludicrous theories about night terrors than consider the possibility that these women are telling the truth. If the victims can’t even find an open mind among porn advocates, then what makes you think they’ll fare any better in a system that is already hostile to their profession?
@Ivy & Laura
This moved beyond he said she said into no matter how this comes out neither of them wins days ago.
Good for you Ivy..thanks for sharing your story, youre an inspiration..and there is nothing I enjoy more then seeing women helping other women…and Mike sorry for the double post.. I tried to delete one, but had trouble.
@laura thanks for adding your voice as well. We all got one thing in common, we come here to read Mike South, lol what can I say this blog attracts good readers.
Just to be clear..I’m sorry for my mention of night terrors.. I in no way meant to give doubt to the story told.. if it appears that way, which It obviously has, I deeply regret posting my comment here. It was my mistake. I’m sorry.
Rawalex – I was going to post something here, but after your post, not going to bother. You said it all, my friend.
Come on Lisa, You’re a strong woman. If I was a predator I wouldn’t go after someone like you. People in the industry already knew about James’ secret. That’s why companies said “we are braking all ties with him.” and didn’t say “we are braking all ties with him until we get more information”. And I can’t believe you think the only people that force themselves on someone else are people that don’t get a lot of sex!?!? WOW!
And just to clarify I’m not saying at all that those women accusing James are not strong. Just saying Lisa seems like a person that wouldn’t put up with this particular type of situation.
@Karmafan
There are stories of Deen out there that consist of him making it so women cannot be heard during shoots. If you can’t hear the safe word then how do you know to stop? While that’s all conjecture I’m sure a lot of the companies that filmed him have the footage and they continued to use him as talent.
Now, one may say that isn’t technically “rape”, but at the same time those people weren’t the ones having it happen to them.
Those before and after tapes don’t really mean much seeing as if problems occurred during your shoot then you probably won’t get hired again. The videos do not prove if someone is telling the truth or not. Best to shut up and go along with what the producer says unless you have a degree to fall back on.
There you go. I will say that Kink.com is the true villain in this scandal. They threw James under the bus yet they still promote rape and violence against women. Case in point http://www.kink.com/shoot/12148
New article featuring an interview with Stoya regarding Deen, by Melissa Gira Grant on The Guardian: http://www.theguardian.com/culture/2015/dec/04/how-stoya-took-on-james-deen-and-broke-the-porn-industrys-silence
A quote from Ashley Fires: “How dare you question the assault I was brave enough to share. Proof really? Evidence? Fuck you.”
Who needs proof and evidences? Just take her word for it.
I wonder if these guys (like James Deen) that get off on punishing women would feel the same if it was them on the receiving end of the stick? Just like the guys that love seeing a girl get her ass destroyed by 3-5 big black dicks. How would you feel if it was your ass getting wrecked? I had a colonoscopy a while back and thought the doctor was putting his fist up my ass and its only a tiny scope with the diameter of a pencil. I just don’t know how the girls can do it on a regular basis.
I’ve met Ashley, briefly, a couple of times at shows. Watched her speak on several seminar panels at those same shows. The lady has some spunk, and that was when she was still pretty new to the biz in 2008-9.
As for taking her word for it… what possible motivation would she have to make it up?
Industry Vet Gives His Thoughts On James Deen As Well As Deen’s Accusers
Source: A lesser site
So let’s talk about James Deen.
It’s likely you won’t appreciate what I’m going to say. It’s possible this will end a few friendships and a several business relationships. So be it. I’ve spent this last week sick to my stomach because, as a man, I’m not allowed to speak about this, and I’m tired of it.
Here’s the thing; James Deen is an asshole. I know because I’m an asshole, and it takes one to know one. He won’t deny that. He’s had moments of being a prick, a diva, and a rough sex performer.
That’s a very different thing than being a rapist. And it’s also something you could say about every single man in this industry from time to time. I don’t care who the guy is, somewhere there are ten girls with the same stories about him, possibly true, possibly not, probably somewhere in the middle.
This is a long email, so let me save you the read if you like. Below, I’m going to go through, point-by-point, and explain why this is bullshit. And the thrust is, if you’re a woman, it’s time to speak up. A dozen women in the industry have told me “I wish I could say something.”
Well, it’s TIME. Even if you think I’m full of shit, you should speak up. But if, like Jodi Taylor, Asphyxia, Julia Ann, Lisa Ann (Jesus Christ, I’m actually forced to side with LISA ANN, people!), you think this has been a fucked-up embarrassing sideshow, it’s time for you to grow a pair and stand up. As women, you are the only ones who can. The men in the room aren’t allowed into this public discussion; we’re instantly discounted.
I think it’s time to get involved.
But let’s talk about what I KNOW, because I feel that maybe I have some insight into this that others don’t. Let’s start with Stoya.
I know that Stoya posted a scene with James and Dana Vespoli on her website, Trenchcoat X, the morning before her tweets that began this mess. Then, later that day, she learned from Conor Habib that James and his current girlfriend are buying a house together, and that’s when all hell broke loose.
I know that the reason James broke it off with Stoya is he got tired of her threatening to kill herself, and alternately, him. The night it came to a head she was hanging from his balcony over a fatal drop threatening to let go. When he decided to call 911, she told him she would claim assault and rape if the cops came.
When he didn’t want to foot the bill to ship her things back to New York, she again threatened rape. She used the phrase “all I have to do is say it. Who’s going to believe you?” I’ve seen the texts.
This isn’t new. She did the same thing to Marilyn Manson. Just ask Tony Ciulla, his manager. Unfortunately, neither of them can or will go on the record because, again, men. Not allowed.
I know that for months after they split, Stoya was texting James begging him to stay in her life and take her back. “You’re my heroin,” she would say. He still has those texts as well, and is resisting the urge to release them because he’s such an asshole.
I know that five weeks after they split, Stoya HIRED James to shoot this scene with HER, that she directed. Because she was that upset about the “rape.” Please watch this scene unfold and draw your own conclusion as to their dynamic
This leads me to Joanna Angel.. Was he emotionally abusive to her at the end of the relationship? Absolutely. He doesn’t deny it, and would do it differently if he could.
Was the relationship a living hell from the beginning, as Joanna now tells the story? No. Plainly not. And was James the only one at fault for their issues and their breakup? I think we all know that simply isn’t how relationships work. Was he the prime culprit? Yes. But Joanna had her own issues.
AND AT NO TIME DID HE RAPE HER. EVER. So WHAT, precisely, does her harbored anger and bitterness about James’ success in the business (Because that’s the REAL story here, ya’all) have to do with Stoya accusing him of rape?
Zero. Nothing. This is simply Joanna’s need to grab the spotlight so she can trash Bryan because she’s plainly not over him. She isn’t supporting Stoya; she’s indulging her own resent, and I find it shameful.
Again, there’s being a dick and being a rapist. Two different things.
The Ashley Fires story I like. While she CERTAINLY isn’t telling it to get attention, the salient point is that she said “No, James!” …and he STOPPED. Correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s what your SUPPOSED to do when you misread the signals and get out of line, isn’t it?
To Amber Rayne, who disappoints me most, and Lily LaBeau, I say this: Porn is a full-contact sport. Especially if you’re doing a rough scene. Both of these stories have been conflated since I first heard them, particularly Amber’s, but even if they were true as told, neither girl had any lack of understanding as to what she was getting into.
An NFL player doesn’t get to bitch about a torn hamstring or a concussion from a hard tackle. That’s what you fucking signed up for. When Lily got her jaw dislocated, Kink was still Kink. It was serious business shooting for them, and many girls wisely declined because it wasn’t their thing.
But you KNEW what you were getting into going in.
Look, this isn’t independent film, and porn stars aren’t actors. They’re athletes hired to exploit their physicality for the entertainment of others. Sex is our business, so, right or wrong, those personal physical boundaries just don’t exist. And not just for women; ask Prince or St. Croix or Anthony Hardwood about their penis injuries.
Everyone on set gets groped, molested, flirted with. Sexual harassment is our entire business model.
As for Chico Wang, he was renowned – and despised – for shooting exactly what Amber describes (Except for the closed fist; if you dig up the scene, you’ll see James is slapping her, not punching her). You simply didn’t work for Chico unless you were either A: a brand new girl with a skeezy agent, or B: tough enough to take it.
It’s also worth noting that even in her version of the story, when she got a tear, Chico and James wanted to stop, and SHE insisted on finishing the scene. So James didn’t put her out of work, SHE did.
I’ve also known Amber long enough to know that she has an extremely tenuous relationship with the truth. Just ask her “where are you right now,” and you’ll understand.
Which brings me to Tori Lux. You have to be a pretty major drug addict to get drummed out of porn, but she did it. I’ve been in porn long enough to know that James sitting on a girl’s chest holding her down and punching her in the face in the middle of a working shoot simply didn’t happen. That’s just not the real world.
Maybe all of this makes me a rape apologist. Apparently I’m not allowed to suggest that Stoya might just be flat-out lying, even though she has a history of threatening rape as a weapon. And the other girls listed above certainly weren’t chiming in “just to get attention.” That would never happen.
Draw your own conclusions. My conclusion is this is fucking ridiculous.
What it boils down to is He said/She said type stuff with 0 evidence.
Billy – this is not meant to be a personal attack, so don’t take it as such. The problem with it is that its similar to what your post assumes Stoya is doing. Stoya says on Twitter and to the Guardian that Deen raped her. You counter that we have no proof that that ever happened; meanwhile, you have it on good authority from Deen that she threatened to kill herself or falsely accuse him of rape, therefore ….. its a false accusation. Unless there was a third party when she was on the ledge, its in the same league as Stoya’s allegations, and folks are likely to pick sides based on what they already think of the respective performers.
I didn’t write the post. It was written by someone much closer to the situation than you and I. People have already picked sides.
Agree completely that people have picked sides. And when that happens, it doesn’t really matter who says what. It’s like the current political discourse – you hear what you want to hear, depending on which side of the issue you come down on. Best …..