It’s Pick On AVN Day:MGHOE: why you be hatin on avn
South1226: cuz it will make connelly crazy
South1226: it is funny
MGHOE: good god
MGHOE: how about the illiteracy on display in that main headliner
MGHOE: jesus christ
MGHOE: are they morons over there?
MGHOE: Jenna Jameson book to racy
MGHOE: are they complete idiots???
South1226: LOL
MGHOE: jesus christ
MGHOE: too racy
MGHOE: too racy
MGHOE: too racy
MGHOE: not to racy
South1226: thats what I thought
MGHOE: jesus christ
Remember that porn journalism is people who can’t write, writing about people who can’t act, for people who can’t read…it’s all good just look at the pictures LOL
AVN Leads With The Story on Belladonna’s New Baby:
In other news Belladonna’s kid turned 5 today and starts grade school soon. In keeping with thier long standing video review policy (half the actresses have to be retired from porn before the movie gets reviewed) AVN wanted to be sure that the … well I’m not sure but they wanted to be sure….When the kid starts high school AVN will have the birth announcement in the printed edition.
Who Was The Pornlet in Crickett’s Story Below?
The one who needed vibes….Tyla Winn I’m told.
Crickett Makes Some Observations: (Thanks crickett You ROCK!)
This year was my very first year doing the Vegas madness. I didn’t wanna fuck around, so I did the whole week. Both shows. I figure my bases were covered in that week: I got a Player Card from a casino, I gambled (and I’m up $10!), I got into a porn party, I was denied entry into a BUNCH of porn parties, I ate at a buffet, I took a casino shuttle, and I got sick. That pretty much covers it, right?
Well no, of course it doesn’t! Because it wouldn’t be ME without my not-so-humble opinions!!! So here you go.
1) The buffet at Terrible’s sucks, but their slots are loose.
2) Sometimes “all you can eat t-bone steaks” is something that you should pass up.
3) One person (who shall remain nameless and no, South, it’s not you) who was all excited about my first time in Vegas and said, “I was just gonna spend a lot of time in my room, but if this is your first time in Vegas ever, we’re gonna hang out and PARTY!” barely had time to say hi to me, much less hang.
4) If you’re a company that gives away t-shirts, you need to open your eyes. Did you see how many CHICKS were there??? Would it kill you to print up some girly shirts to give out? I came home with 15 giant white sails with printing on them, and 3 shirts I can wear someplace other than to bed. Kick Ass, Naughty America, and Black Mirror were the only people who were smart enough to give out little tanky tops (and the one I got from Black Mirror makes my rack look GREAT!). Here’s the deal: I know that you’re giving it out for free and so I shouldn’t bitch. But I also know that you want me to wear that shit in public and be your billboard. For free. I’m only wearing shirts out that flatter me, and a white cotton tent with your logo on it isn’t going to be seen outside of my home. My cats don’t buy porn, and so they don’t care who I’m advertising.
5) If you’re gonna sit at a table to which you were NOT assigned during the awards show, couldja swap tables *after* you’ve given the people who are supposed to be there a chance to grab the swag? Sorry, but as far as I know, porn chicks don’t have any problem obtaining vibrators for free. We had three little pornlets (I only recognized one of them, but if ya want her name, feel free to ask…I’m attempting to be nice-ish) come to grace us with their presence (loudly arguing over what table they were supposed to be at, and then looking and saying “This is an AVN table…oh. Well, we’ll just sit here.”) and then proceed to clear the table of all the swag. Now one would think that you’d want the people who write your reviews and vote on your movies to be as relaxed as possible, and that includes letting them have a free vibe or two.
Apparently, that thought didn’t cross their mind. The only thing they didn’t want (other than the mints) was the condoms. In a *stunning* show of intelligence and self-preservation in a year of HIV outbreak and Hep-B concerns, one of them threw the box across the table and exclaimed, “Ucch….condoms! Who needs THOSE???” Brilliant.
6) If you’re going to throw a party and be ever-so-careful about who gets your little laminates, it might be a good idea to have somebody from your company with a guest list and such at the door of the club.
Because otherwise, why spend the money on laminates? I know that when I reached the door of a certain club, nobody was getting in, nobody from the company throwing the party was anywhere near the door, and everybody outside had those laminates in their hands. Was that the signal to NOT get in? Because shit, I could easily have stayed home if I wanted to NOT go to a club. (Is this a slam on Carly? No. PurePlay didn’t give out laminates.)
7) Next year, I need a cell phone. And to not forget my strapless bra.
And to pack decongestants.
8) Fanboys: Fucking ew, okay? Some of them were perfectly well-behaved. But the ones who misbehave and act like complete morons ruin it. The ones who just oil their way through the convention hall, surreptitiously taking photos. The ones who have to videotape performer/directors while they’re eating lunch, despite the fact that for the other 8 hours of the day they’re standing there talking and signing and being a Public Figure. The ones who pose with a chick and shove their finger /in her vagina/ as the photo is being snapped. That’s not cool. That’s fucking disgusting. And it ruins it for everyone else when she says “Fuck this, I’m not doing any more of this today.”
9) If you really wanna learn crowd control and how to deal with a line of people who want photos and autographs, watch Nina Hartley in action.
THAT woman know what she’s doing.
10) And finally, I think that we should start having a tailgate party in the Sands parking ramp next year. There were times that it took us an hour or more to get out of there, and I think it’d be much improved with a few hot dogs, burgers, beers, and whatnot. Anyone wanna join me?
All in all, I had a great time. It was overwhelming, especially Saturday, and it’s definitely a strange experience being a girl who *isn’t* a performer walking around that many guys who are so willing to grab your ass /just in case you are/, but then again, that’s why I always wear my boots on the show floor. There were some unhappy toes, but they got the point quickly and that’s all that matters. Will I go back next year? You betcha. I might choose to stay somewhere else, but I’ve got a month or so before I need to start looking at making those reservations. I managed to get some work done, some networking done, and I got to meet some people that I’ve been dying to meet for a long time. I was lucky in that every one of them lived up to my expectations.
See ya next year!
