I Have Come To Defend Football To You.

Mike,
I have come to defend football to you.
First off let me say I am completely in agreement with your statement about needing to spend money on public education. No matter what your political leanings are, left or right, most of societies ills are directly tied into a lack of education which in turn feeds into a lack of self worth. From simply poor checkbook/saving habits (the housing crash of today) on up to spousal/child/drug/animal abuse including into major violent crimes. When people don’t know there are better smarter ways of doing things, how can they even try better ways. It’s all problem solving, you know give a guy a fish/ teach him to fish, yadda, yadda. It is so stomach churning for me to watch a billionaire blackmail a city, or state by saying he would move the sports franchise away if the taxpayers don’t build him a new stadium. This kind of corporate welfare (and not just in sports) has cost way more to this county than any paid out to the individual. I have hardcore “drink the Kool-Aid” republican friends who are walking hypocrites because they don’t want their team to move away, well most christian republicans (spell check wants me to capitalize christian . . .fuck that) I’ve dealt with in my life are walking hypocrites including the above and beyond this issue. You see a blackmail scheme only works if you let it have the power over you, and even though I love the NY Giants (which I will capitalize and also go on to explain in greater detail) I’ll be damned if I’ll vote to have taxpayer money support a billionaire’s store front. Plus these fuckers go on to charge the regular fan/family thousands of dollars just to sit in the damn place the taxpayer owns to begin with.
Now with that said . . . I love the NY Giants ( I know I said it earlier, but I love the NY Giants) put the name of another team in this argument and I’m sure there are millions of people who have the same sentiment as me. I know it’s childish and silly just like you said, but that’s just the point. For three hours on a Sunday, I get to feel like that little boy growing up in NJ with no worries or responsibilities. It brings me back to childhood, it’s attached to pure happy memories growing up. I have a common social goal and value with thousand of other Giant fans, it’s my own kind of church. It’s part of the fabric of me like my Irish heritage, and soothing like a warm blanket on a cold rainy night. Also blue is my favorite color (see how ridiculous it all is.) And it is the main reason I call my Dad back in NJ on a Sunday night (which is good for two people that don’t have a lot in common) But it is also a bonding male time for me and my 9 year old son. (things are only as useful as you make them)
As for football being homoerotic or bring out a homoerotic feelings in it’s male fans well it might be true for some jocks but I don’t even like porn that has two guys and a girl in one scene, especially with DP those guys are GAY!! (why is there even the illusion of a women between them, they’re one taint away from sword fighting). See for me the illusion of football is like porn, that’s because I’m imagining I’m the one doing the scoring. And I know you hunt (I have nothing against hunters or hunting) but isn’t it kind of gay to sit in the woods with a bunch of guys cleaning and shooting off their phallic symbols waiting for Ned Beatty (wasn’t deliverance filmed in Georgia?) Lastly Mike, I leave you with these serious questions to ponder . . . which is more homoerotic? Watching football on a lazy Sunday afternoon or directing a 25 guy bukkake video (I had to add bukkake to my spell-check). Nay . . enjoying you local college and/or pro team at a sports bar or having a threesome while staring lovingly into Tim Case’s eyes?
(“I kid, I kid” . . .triumph the insult comic dog)

A Mike South, NY Giant Fan,
John Farrell