Good Ole Chaim Chimes in with the following:

You know Mike, I am starting to suspect that New York City really is a feminine sort of town, and it isn’t just in the demand for “sensitivity” in all public discourse. Why, just today I was wandering about the lower east side when I stopped in my favorite lesbian-run dildo shop and bookstores looking for something manly to do tonight. Each shop had a community bulletin board and a bunch of flyers lying about advertising upcoming events that I just assumed that I, as a human being presumably covered by New York’s exhaustive anti-discrimination laws, would be welcome at.

Chaim, Chaim, Chaim you are far too educated a man to be ending sentences in a preposition. So Chaim what was your first clue that New York is a feminine sort of town, the fact that you guys put the Hildebeast into office?

The first was for a group called “New York Men Against Sexism”. Here is a bit of their pitch, in case you want to start a similar group in Atlanta:

“We are a group of profeminist men actively working to confront and eliminate sexism….We believe that masculinity is a myth, a social construct, a script given, taught, and reinforced on a daily basis by a society that has a large investment in protecting male power….And we believe that through listening to women, studying feminist literature, and taking women’s experience of male supremacy seriously, we can
help secure a gender-just society with safety and freedom for everyone.”

Wow I bet these guys don’t get laid much huh?

I felt that this was too academic-sounding for the likes of a fat meat-eating slob like me, and not apt to attract many attractive women, either. Undaunted, I continued to peruse the bulletin board, when I saw a flyer for a group called “Throb”, advertising a party on East Houston street next Thursday night, but one to which only “leatherwomen, SM-curious women, vanilla chicks, dirty girls and our trans friends” were welcome. Not sufficiently inclusive for the likes of me. (But if any of your New York readers wants to crash it, the party is from 8 pm – 1 am on February 7 at Studio 253, located at 253 East Houston Street in the east village. Be sure to tell them that “Chaim Amalek” sent you.) And then there was a notice for the “Fierce and Sexy BDSM Wimmin’s Party” later that week, but again it seemed that I would not be welcome there, either.

now see Chaim that’s where you are probably wrong, why these wymyn would probably love to see you at that Throb party, where they would then Chain Chaim up and proceed to throttle and sodomize you till you turn into a Christian, or at least know how the Christians felt in the Roman times.

Finally something caught my eye that REALLY looked interesting, a postcard for a group called “Shades of Poly (S.O.P.)”. I quote from their literature:

“Does monogamy scare, bother or frustrate you? Do you find yourself cheating on partners but wish you could love/sex more openly? Do you love the idea of being with more than one person? Do you wish people would accept you for who you are? Whether you identify as Polyamorous, non-monogamous or permanently single, this group is for you!”

And it got better:

“SOP explores the nature of polyamorous relationships. Polyamorous relationships may include triads, four-somes, non-monogamy, orgies, swapping/sharing etc. – just to name a few.”

But just how inclusive would such a group be? “S.O.P. is a new group for polyamorous, queer, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and two spirit women of color.”

That’s right – men not welcome. Straight women not welcome. Gay white women not welcome. And to see such bigotry in New York – what a shanda!

Ya I gotta admit it had promise right up til the end there.

You probably are wondering what any of this has to due with my general concerns for the arc of history that we are traversing to our profound social and racial detriment. Moreover, why should anyone care about this sad and minor tale of one man’s rejection by some of New York’s most protected classes of people? After all, this minor story contains no portent of impending TERROR strikes against the SUPER BOWL or the OLYMPICS, nothing directly related to MEL KARMAZAN or HOWARD STERN of CBS or even SUMNER REDSTONE of IACOM, and nothing about ENRON or ISLAM or MICHAEL JACKSON or SCIENTOLOGY. Nor is there anything in this that relates to the failure of TINA BROWN’s TALK Magazine, or to her investors at MIRAMAX.

Or is there? Step back in time with me. All of this can be related to the events of November 22, 1963, and the fateful rise of Lyndon B. Johnson. But that is for another posting.

Chaim Amalek, Liberal Upper West Side Jew

Well Chaim you can’t whine too much, at least you are generally welcome at Bar Mitzvahs. Being a white male of european decent (The real niggers of the world) Guys like me just ain’t welcome anywhere, why we get the blame for everything from pollution to police brutality but hey, we all have our crosses to bear.