I Have Returned

I spent my birthday in Dayton hanging out with the various miscreants, anarchists and unmentionable peelers that frequent the  Flamingo Showclub  (A few do have remarkable talents) It was a fun time, yes I got laid quite a bit….but I won’t incriminate anyone here….

I do want to thank Kayden Kross for updating 5 out of the 10 days I was gone.

So I get home and as usual my mailbox is stuffed with junk and bills but theres a few birthday cards in there, one in particular jumped out at me…from none other than the Princess of Posting herself…Kayden Kross.

Now as most of you know Kayden and I have worked very closely together the last year and a half and I feel as though we have bonded quite a bit in the process.  We share many interests and lately she has been on a mission to have me read books that she thinks will make me tear up, The latest being Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road”, which by the way was a good book but it didn’t make me tear up, a fact which presumeably leads her to the conclusion that I must be some sort of heartless bastard. (BTW I liked “No Country For Old Men” Better)

Getting back to the birthday card I find myself wondering, anticipating even, what might lay inside.  Might she pour out her heartfelt feelings for me, bringing a mist over my my eyes and warming my arctic like heart? Or maybe it will be something short and kind giving me a warm and happy feeling, making all the hours of grief and hard work worth it with just a well chosen thought or wish. Or maybe she decided I needed a new truck and its a gift certificate for a Ford F150 Super Duty, Fully loaded, I mean it’s not like she can’t afford what with her new contract and all. Or maybe it’s a certificate for one free blowjob on a boat, like another young lady friend offered.

The possibilities are endless.

Indeed.

I anxiously open it to find a card with a guy who looks like a younger Randy West lying on the beach, inside the card it says “Thought you might like some roasted nuts for your birthday” and an inscription that reads “Mike This man is pure sexiness and he’s just for you. Happy Birthday, Love  Kayden.”

What The Fuck is THAT?

Did she mix them up and send me one that was supposed to go to Christian X or Nick Manning or someone?

Just damn. I almost cried.

Wait till YOUR birthday rolls around Bitch….