New Data Determines Gina, The Porn Addicted Chimp Isn’t Addicted After All, She Just Has Better Taste In Television Than Americans

No doubt you have all seen the headlines by now:

“A Spanish scientist says he has discovered a female chimpanzee who is addicted to watching porn.

Gina, a resident of Seville Zoo, chose to solely watch adult entertainment channels when a television and remote control was placed in her enclosure.”

It went on to say that Gina had mastered the use of the remote control.  Now that there is a feat that most humans haven’t yet evolved to.  Aside from changing the channel, the volume and maybe the mute button, the rest of the buttons are on the do not touch list.  It also didn’t say if there was a separate remote for the TV and one for the cable box, assume-ably there was so Gina is already showing signs of being one smart cookie.

Now what the reports didn’t tell you was the choices Gina had.  She had an ESPN Channel that showed soccer, golf and bowling 24/7, another that showed football, (Which is a lot like gay porn).  There was Jerry Springer, Fox News, The Kardashians, Oprah Windbag, The Bachelor (porn without the sex) and Honey Boo Boo.

Unlike most of her American counterparts Gina had the good sense (and good taste) to opt for the porn channel.  Scientists are now studying this to see if the chimps are getting smarter or if we are getting dumber.

I will write more later, it’s time for “Winter Wipeout”