Funniest Moment at the AVN Awards:

All the porn chicks are dancing onstage while Chingy is singing some lames ass song…and there’s this brunette hanging all over him, tits out, grabbing his dick….that brunette was none other than Vanity same one that Nick Manning was having a serious make out session with 2 years ago at the AVN Awards…What’s so funny about that you ask…Vanity has a bigger dick than Nick and Chingy Combined.Another Funny moment:
After the Pure Play Party I am posing for photos and I am told Nick Manning walked by, grabbed Tim Case and said “Tell your boy Mike South I’m going to whip his ass” Tim replied…”You tell him, he is standing right there” Nick promptly left….Tim came and told me about it….

The First Annual MikeSouth Adult Expo Awards:

Biggest Flake: Jenna Jameson
She set up an interview with for Friday, she blew it off, rescheduling for Saturday, then she blew off Saturday rescheduling for Sunday…Thebluepages said don’t bother you aren’t that big anymore and interviewed Jesse Jane instead.

Best Party: Pure Play Party at The Hard Rock:
Everyone was there and even though the chick to guy ratio was like 1 to 20 I brought my own. Open bar and industry only, 1100 people partying their asses off…Hell YA!

Hottest Pornchick at the Show:
This one was close, Jesse is smokin and I adore her but Carmen Luvana was…JUST DAMN!

Best Overdose:
Gia Paloma being carried out of the circle bar at the Venetian on a stretcher, she says she waved at the crowd…I’m guessing thats bullshit but what a spin.

Worst Overdose:
Pure Play sales girl, Marcelle, OD’d on coke the first night of the show. Vegas PD, paramedics and vice with dogs were called to her room. Both she and the sales assistant, who was not to blame, were escorted off the Venetian property and kicked out for life.

Hottest New Product:
Black Widow Productions, and that little girl they had in the booth (Pictured below in the black stockings) was cute as fuck.

Worst Planning:
The AVN Awards Show Red Carpet, Here’s a tip…reserve a special time for talent and nominees to do the walk and enter for media interviews. Then let the general public in afterwards, it was too much of a mob scene.

Best Buffet:
No doubt about it, The Bellagio.

Coolest and Nicest People Everyone Knows:
Hands down here…Digital Playground, they let me use the booth to rest whenever I needed to, they bought more than one dinner and in spite of Contract Star they make the best movies in porn. That is till I start making features.

Coolest and Nicest People Nobody Knows:
George Martin and the folks at GM Video. They always have a shot, a bottled water and a place to rest my tired ass feet!

Biggest Letdown:
I like Cytheria, but Teagan Presley was robbed.

Coolest Mother Fucker at the Show:
Hands down, Beater…Look OUT Jack, Beater’s Peter is coming to the Playground!

Person Who No Longer Comes To The Show That I Miss Most:
Dirty Bob

Person Who No Longer Comes To The Show That I Miss The Least:
Gene Ross

Biggest Unkown Person In Porn:
Jewn from Digital Playground, It’s amazing how few people have a clue who he is…Maybe he needs his head on a Turkey here…worked wonders for Adella.Speaking of…

Best Organized Person at The Show:
Adella’s Press Room is Tight….NOBODY does it better! What makes Adella so good? She personally knows and takes care of everyone who should have a badge, year after year. No Bullshit, No fucking around just five star service for us working stiffs.

The Unsung Hero:
Mike Ramone, who is in charge of Talent tickets to the AVN Awards Show, it’s a thankless job I know, So Mikey…Thanks Brother! I appreciate what you are doing.

Biggest Stars Nobody Knew:
Mai Lin, Seka and Rhonda Jo Petty, there was a time when these three made up about fifth of all the girls in porn, now only us old timers remember them but they all still look great and it was great to see them. The Industry may have moved on but these 3 will be remembered in porn history when 99% of the girls in the biz now will be little more than a footnote, if that.

Biggest Rip Off:
The concession on the show floor, talk about knowing they have a captive audience….I would at least like to be kissed when I am being ass fucked thank you.

Best (not so) Stupid Pet trick:
Turner the wonder dog, who everyone thought sniffed for bombs, untill quite a few people got arrested for possesion of controlled substances…ooops.

Best Interview:
Jesse Jane, she comes across genuine and real…Check out and see what I mean.

Worst Interviewer:
Muffin Muncher, I think he got star struck,

Guy I Miss Hangin Out With The Most:
D.B. Cooper

Chick I Most Wish I had Hit On Two Years Ago:
Samantha Lewis, she is married now so I will never know. But in my imagination she couldn’t have resisted.

Most Volatile Potential Mixture in Porn:
Me and Adella, Tim Case said it would be like matter meeting anti-matter.

Most Disgusting Moment:
Felicia Fox licking Lemmy Kilmister’s Moles at the Pure Play Party

I have no idea what award I’d bestow upon her but she deserves a mention, she is adoreable and and funny as hell writer….I’m glad I met ya baby!

Best Knife in My Back:
JimmyD trying to wrangle Jayna away from me while I am sitting between the two of them at dinner. damn brother is there NO honor amounst thieves? I shoulda let him have her LOL It would have served him right.

Funniest Moment (and there were lots)
But this one takes the cake. I am standing in the KSEX Radio Booth taking pics of Gene Simmons, and Evan Seinfeld comes and stands shoulder to shoulder with me, I looked at him and smiled, he looked away and never acknowledged my presence. I’d give anything for a photo of that. I bet even Evan agrees that one was a funny moment. Uncomfy sure, KSEX was on TOP of the Adam and Eve Booth and we were against a rail, had either of us decided to exchange blows we’d likely have fallen off and broken our necks and I’m sure he was as wary of the situation as I was.

Best Fight Between Two Porn Chicks:
Fellow Vivid Girls Tawny Roberts and Savanah Samson duking it out over Tawny’s ex

Best Fight Couples Category:
Evan Seinfeld had Tera backed against a wall after the AVN Awards, right where everyone had to walk by to exit, and they were going at it over something.

Best Comment at The AVN Awards:
On seeing Jenna’s husband on stage my date Vanessa said “That’s Jenna’s husband? He HAS to be gay…Look at him”

Best Roommates:
Shannin and Amanda

Best Next Door Neighbor:
Tim Case…he woke me every morning with a cup of coffee.

Best Website Readers:
All Y’all!

14270cookie-checkFunniest Moment at the AVN Awards:

Funniest Moment at the AVN Awards:

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