Dating 101: First Date Do’s and Don’ts

Since it’s almost Valentine’s day I thought it might be fun to post some helpful dating tips — a sort of dating 101 if you will.

So, you are out there in the dating market. It could be the first time in decades or just a few months since you decided to try again. Finding a suitable mate for romance or companionship is a challenge. Singles often complain that we live in a disposable culture because adults are willing to end relationships quickly that don’t have the right feel or don’t completely match their checklist. That being said, you can use the Law of Attraction to open yourself up to a new relationship.

The Law of Attraction

According to the Law of Attraction, you will attract the kind of experience that you want. If you spend time thinking about the positive qualities you seek in a potential partner and then prepare yourself for the experience, you can try to attract a positive relationship. If you think negatively about what a new relationship might be like, you risk attracting a negative connection to a new person. If you are serious about finding love, you can benefit from these first date do’s and don’ts provided by the experts over in California:

What to Do
  1. Talk to several single adults before choosing one that interests you. If you are on a dating app, you could receive multiple date offers, but you don’t need to accept one until it feels right.
  2. Plan an appropriate location for the first meeting. If you already know this person, you can be more flexible. If it is a stranger, plan to meet in a public place where you feel safe.
  3. Keep the date to a short timeframe, such as two to three hours. On a first date, you get only one chance to create a first impression, but you don’t want to prolong it. If there is a spark, there will be a time to arrange a second date. Some people prefer a meet-and-greet, which could be meeting for drinks or coffee for an hour. Some daters agree to meet at a park or the beach and take a walk together where there are lots of people around.
  4. Wear comfortable clothes and shoes. It is normal to feel like you’re getting the once-over when on a first date. If you wear clothes that fit well, you can relax.
  5. Brace yourself for a stimulating conversation. The person who takes the time to meet you doesn’t want to sit there and feel bored or work hard to pry details out of you. Being willing to share about yourself and talk through awkward pauses can help the meeting feel natural.
  6. Arrange to meet after work or on a day off once you’ve had time to take a shower and get ready.
  7. Encourage your date to share his or her preferred activities. For example, if someone likes to cook, this topic of conversation could fill up the whole time. When people talk about what they love, they can relax and feel comfortable. If you prefer to talk more about yourself on the second date, that’s okay too.
What Not to Do
  1. Don’t give out too much personal information. Don’t take the chance that someone will follow you home. This means going to your car and doing other errands before going home.
  2. Don’t ask too many personal questions about the other person. It’s one thing to try to get to know someone. It’s another thing to conduct an interview.
  3. Don’t feel pressured into meeting somewhere that you don’t feel comfortable.
  4. Don’t let someone coerce you into having intercourse.
  5. Don’t agree to a meeting time when you’ll have to rush to get there or leave quickly due to other obligations.
  6. Don’t accept a date because you feel sorry for someone.
  7. Don’t feel like you must respond to physical contact or affection from someone who is being pushy. You can distance yourself to sitting across the table or refusing to have someone walk you to your car.
  8. Don’t let someone insult you or make you feel like super lucky to have this date with them. This could be the sign of a narcissist.
  9. Don’t monopolize the conversation or talk too much about yourself. This could make you come off as self-absorbed.
  10. Don’t accept dates if your mind is not in the right place. If you are feeling depressed, unworthy, or negative about your chances of finding a mate, this date will be a waste of time.

Be prepared that a first date could go better than you imagine. There could be the potential for a strong physical attraction. You must be mentally and emotionally ready to handle that situation when it arises and decide in advance how to handle it. Each person has his or her own comfort level with the pace of getting to know another person physically. With these do’s and don’ts in mind, you can put yourself into the right state of mind. Enjoy your first date and see where the potential connection goes.


552750cookie-checkDating 101: First Date Do’s and Don’ts

Dating 101: First Date Do’s and Don’ts

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3 Responses

  1. Here is a bad first date:

    NORTH ATTLEBORO — A Rhode Island man who robbed the Bristol County Savings Bank in Attleboro Falls in 2016 while on a first date with a woman he met through a dating app has been sentenced to five years of incarceration.

    Christopher Castillo, 33, of Chepachet, was sentenced in Fall River Superior Court to three years in prison for armed robbery followed by another two years in jail for assaulting three police officers who arrested him, Bristol County District Attorney Thomas Quinn III said in a statement on Tuesday.

    Castillo went into the bank on Commonwealth Avenue, near the Falls Elementary School, on Dec. 5, 2016, showed the teller a gun that was in his jacket and demanded $1,000. He told the teller he was “really hurting” and needed money, according to the DA’s office.

    After he was given the cash, Castillo ran out of the bank and got into a Nissan Maxima that police spotted as it left nearby Mason Field and then as it headed to Dunkin’ Donuts at the corner of Elm and Mount Hope streets.

    According to the DA’s office, the woman who was driving the car got out of the vehicle, however, and Castillo ducked down. Police pulled him out of the car and he struggled with police officers, spitting at them. During the struggle, Castillo told police the gun wasn’t loaded.

    After eventually handcuffing Castillo, police found a .44 caliber gun in the car along with sunglasses and a hat that matched the items the bank robber was wearing. Also found in the defendant’s wallet was the $1,000 in cash.

    “I am pleased the defendant was held accountable for this violent robbery and for spitting at the police officers. This type of lawless behavior is simply not acceptable,” Quinn said.

    The woman, Shelby Sampson, then 40, of Attleboro Falls, was initially charged with being an accessory after the fact, but the charges were subsequently dropped by the prosecution.

    She told police that she had met the defendant through an online dating app and had just met him in person for the first time that day. She said she picked him up at his parents’ house in Rhode Island and they drove to North Attleboro as he drank wine in the passenger seat.

    Castillo asked her to stop the car near the bank and left the vehicle for a few minutes. He ran back, sweating and carrying the hat, sunglasses, a gun and cash and told Sampson to drive off.

    When she saw the blue lights of the police cruisers, she immediately pulled into the parking lot and got away from the car.

    The gun turned out to be an antique owned by the defendant’s stepfather. An indictment initially charging the defendant with carrying an illegal firearm was dropped as a result, according to the DA.

  2. That sounds like a horrible date, Karma. I am sure the other Karma (no, not Karma Karmen, either) will get the guy robbing the bank and (supposedly) making his date an unwitting accessory. Go out on a date and end up (legally) kidnapped by the pigs — what a horrible experience! At least the charges against the woman were dropped — in most cases and most areas of the country that would not have happened. Hopefully the woman didn’t spend too many nights in her local Jail and Prolapse Facility before the charges were dropped.

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