In My Perfect World…

I find it easy to get upset about life sometimes. In intermittent states of martyrdom, I throw myself on the train tracks of religious ridiculousness, bigotry, abuse, ignorance, etc… But, instead of questioning, I think maybe the best way for me to express what seems clear to me is to paint the picture. This is part poetry for me, because I am talking about an imaginary existence.

In my perfect world, we all know who we are, what we are doing and why. And if we don’t know, we say, “I don’t know.” In my perfect world, life is simple. We know complications are going to arise naturally, so we make sure it doesn’t come from us. If a gay couple wants to get married under the umbrella of their spiritual beliefs and philosophies, they get married. People go to their churches, their temples, their synagogues, their mosques and listen to symbolic stories they don’t take as factual happenings but as stories for learning – stories that can be practically applied in today’s reality. And the universal message in all of these religions is “Love Each Other”. In my perfect world, when someone would try to insert messages about killing people for the afterlife reward, the majority says, “That doesn’t make sense. Today is the reward, and I don’t feel good about wanting to hurt someone else to satisfy your personal vendetta… so, no thank you.” In my perfect world, religion is a tool for reaching toward the divine, not for swimming in shame over the uncontrollable physical world.

Education is fun and necessary. The facilities for learning are happily steered by groups of adults that don’t bitterly abuse the children into learning, but patiently teach them and then stand by for questioning. Math, science, physical education (including sex education), art, music, creative writing, poetry, theatre, self-defense, language (including sign language)… all are equally important, and the artistic classes are emphasized as areas of learning that not only inspire creativity and engage the emotions, but as appreciated outlets that can keep kids from acting out violently. Children have much more flexibility in what they can learn. They aren’t tested so harshly as they are encouraged towards the areas of learning where they may be lacking and/or want to excel. Education is not a luxury of the upper classes that can afford private tutoring and private schools, it is an enjoyable requirement.

The prison systems are not unlike facilities for education. People who are hostile and who experience angst and act out against other people in violent ways are taken aside and given large doses of calm and opportunity to talk about their problems. I love The Shawshank Redemption. It has this marvelous scene where Tim Robbins’ character hijacks the speaker system and plays classical music throughout the prison. Everyone stops what they are doing to gaze up towards the sound in absolute quiet. It is as if The Great Spirit is speaking to them through the sound, and really, music is very much like that – the divine speaking through us. (Forgive me, I have to say “The Great Spirit” because my Cherokee heritage does not acknowledge a male or female image as the symbol for the divine being that connects us all. The Great Spirit is greater than gender.) In my perfect world we don’t dispose of human beings by leaving them to rot in overpopulated places with little-to-no means for rehabilitation, a situation that seems designed so that they will go back to that place no matter how many times they pay their dues and are set free.

In my perfect world we don’t go to extremes, or if we do, we learn from those extremes so that we can navigate the spaces in between, where life isn’t so black and white. Sensationalism is ridiculous and only the facts are important. We wouldn’t have to second-guess the news. And when elections happen and people speak, we are more questioning and skeptical than ready to yell hurray at broad exclamations about patriotism and pro-religious statements. We might instead be silent during statements like that or quick to ask a million questions of the people who would represent us and find that our questions inspire questions from them for what we think should be done. Questions are at least inviting. Statements and promises for what should be done leave nothing open and are hardly ever fulfilled. We would, of course, know this and settle for nothing less than what is real.

In my perfect world, eliminated is the “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” attitude towards women. Women have equal footing in their sexual roles. They aren’t strung up and blasted for sleeping with multiple partners or for being prudish, and they are raised to actually be mature by the time their bodies are mature enough for childbirth. Little girls are not complimented with only, “You’re so pretty,” and, “You’re so cute,” expressions of approval. Little boys, either. In my perfect and practical world we don’t compliment and put down a person’s looks, especially at such a young and impressionable age, but instead compliment them on other, more important attributes – how creative they are, how smart they are, how clever, etc… so that we are apt to care about what they think when they get older, even if they happen to be attractive. Little girls and boys don’t grow up so concentrated on how their physical appearance effects the world around them, but how they, as a person, effect the world around them, and a feminist is someone who is comfortable with their femininity, not offended by it and therefore offended by it in others.

In my perfect world prostitution is not only legal and regulated, it is accepted as a way to prevent people who can’t so easily have a physical relationship from going out and attacking women, children, men… We see our sex workers as sex educators, people who understand how to have a pleasurable physical relationship and can teach others how to communicate with their own and each others bodies, and they are actually mature and not just sexual predators and/or confused people who just want money, or to express themselves physically but don’t understand why they do it and find no other means and ways of communicating. In my perfect world we understand ourselves as human beings and don’t preach and discriminate, but constantly strive to understand ourselves by understanding each other.

It may be unrealistic to think this way, but it makes me feel good. In my perfect world we start to create a brilliant group of people by teaching them maturely right from the start. The truth is so much more interesting than fairy tales. Raising ignorant people and then pushing them into cramped and inescapable corners of existence does not mend any problems, but exacerbates them until they have to be faced by, if not ourselves, future generations. Why not start now? Why not redefine our world into one that feels good and makes sense? And, of course, while my perfect world may be far from “perfect”, I think we judge “perfection” unfairly. Maybe we should not be so preoccupied by what we are not, but by what we are and what we are definitely capable of…

– Julie Meadows