Greetings From The Undergirl!: Porn, Scorn and Rip Torn

“Greetings” – a little comp of thoughts from a week of seeing the world through my eyes…

Nothing New News

I read Vince Voyeur’s name on a blog today, along with a sarcastic title about him and I laughed. The conclusion to glean from it was that Vince is not a pleasant person. That is probably an understatement, though I’m not sure he does too much harm within his ‘not a pleasant person’ regimen, i.e. I’ve never heard of him beating anyone up or causing anyone malicious harm. Just sort of random dumb prima donna stuff. The blog re-posts his Tweets about talent showing up late for work and asking too many questions about how many positions they must get into, etc… It made me think of one incident with him.

I worked with him in 1998 a few times. One scene was especially strange because he showed up with a wounded penis. I don’t know if anyone in the industry remembers this but it involved a skirmish with someone during a trip to Budapest, a woman’s jealous boyfriend or something (facts could be skewed here), but that’s not the point. The point is that his penis had cut marks on it, like someone… stabbed it with a fork? A tiny knife? Maybe clipped at it with nail clippers? Mashed it with a rock? Oh, sorry! That hurts my phantom penis, so I can imagine anyone with a real one is squirming right now.

Anyway, he pulled his penis out for the proverbial beginning-of-the-scene blow job and I was slightly awestruck. I had two very distinct feelings about it: ‘What in the world caused all those little odd-shaped wounds on this man’s penis?’ and, ‘Why is he putting it in my face?’ I looked up at him and said, “What happened to your dick?” He looked back at me, “I got into a fight.” He didn’t say anything else, as if this was just normal, somehow. I barely knew him so I thought he might be slow. I turned to the director and said, “Um… there are scabs all over his penis, so one – it is not going in my mouth, and two – it is not going in my vagina or my ass.” Leaving, of course, nothing else.

This is not to defame him in any way, or accuse him of disease. I can tell you it was definitely the result of being beat up. Actual STD sores look very different and not randomly odd-shaped like that, and there were people who were on the trip with him who could confirm that an angry boyfriend found out Vince was in porn, only visiting for a shoot, and beat Vince up for hitting on his woman. The ultimate revenge being to be up his penis. Of course, it’s still risky to work with someone who is wounded (scabs do come off, ew!), so I opted to do the scene sans blow job and using a condom. Everyone thought the Budapest story was funny and typical of his personality. What’s not funny is the accusation of his going on and on about talent professionalism (or better yet, lack thereof), yet he showed up for a shoot and stuck his wounded penis in my face as if it wasn’t a big deal. If I had only been a few years further into my career, he or I would have simply been replaced. I was being polite when I should have said, ‘No Thanks.’ Fortunately, the condom did not break or come off during the scene.

Let that be a lesson to you ladies (and gents), someone like that shows up to work with you, never, ever risk it. Be prepared to walk away. It insults you that they would even show up to work with you in that kind of condition. When you’ve got scabs all over your Frankenstein dick, dealing with late people and too many questions about scene details is the least of your problems!

Good News

I read on another blog today that there is a special retirement home for sex workers in Mexico City, a place called Casa Xochiquetzal. Not only was it a favorable story about caring for sex workers – some of whom still work, but not in the home, itself – it was also dotted by a trail of friendly comments from the readers. I love to see people setting an example that it is okay to have compassion for sex workers. It is awesome and so refreshing!

Old News

I know this is old news, but I needed something that rhymed with “porn” and “scorn” and I think it’s funny that seventy-eight-year-old Rip Torn broke into a bank while he was drunk and carrying a revolver, and his lawyer says he thought the bank “was his home.” That just kills me! It’s horrible, of course, but I think he’s awesome. Like a crazy uncle. At least he wasn’t drunk driving. lol

Blues News

After dealing with another negative person through my YouTube page, and giving it some thought, I just realized today – crazy, I know – that most people are very animal-like. We are born human, and it is a gift, because we are afforded, through the properties of conscience, the opportunity to stop and think and make choices about what is healthy, or we can piss it away and go through life programmed and never take advantage of our ability to evolve. Most people would hear the things told to them and take it as truth, and recite the things they read, never processing the information through their own filters of personal thoughts and feelings, and then they cause the kind of harm they accuse others of doing. I will never understand how calling someone a “whore” and snubbing them because they are “exploited” helps that person at all. Is it really so difficult to understand that by calling someone you assume someone else is exploiting a viciously-intended name and then dismissing them as “deserving it” is, in itself, harmful and exploiting? The exact same thing you’re accusing other people of doing?? I know not everyone will “get” the documentary I’m making and why it is important to treat sex workers like you would your own sister, mother and daughter, but I can hope that the people who do “get” such things will take good things from it. I can hope that it does cause someone’s “light to come on”. As long as you’re breathing you have the opportunity to “get” anything. That’s a heartening thought, at least.

New Agency News

Agency names are so demure, even though the models actually get hired to do some pretty lewd (albeit wonderful), things from time to time. The name elicits a woman showing up and doing just pinup work, not double anal, double vag and gang bangs. That’s not something you’d expect from an agency entitled, say… “Sweet Sunset Models”.

My coworker friend “D” and I were making fun of the agency names and came up with, “Class Act Valley Gapers”. And the automobile that shuttles them around is a van, with a very arty, very soft picture on the side of a bashful-looking model, strategically posed to look sexy and reluctant, and then on the backside is a picture of her vagina (where the doors open wide), and the tailpipe is her asshole. … It was funny at the time. Mmm… needs a tag line. “Class Act Valley Gapers… So Sexy… So Gaping.”

Documentary Update

Everything is coming along fine. Mike, I’ll get some interviews posted soon. I like to overdo everything, especially overwork, so I have been killing myself on the new outro since the production name is different now. I really do love After Effects. I am going to marry it!!! Read ‘marry it!!!’ with a really high screechy voice for effect.

Quote of the week

(It’s a paragraph from a book, but I’m only going to write down the important lines.)

“I asked my mother if she had ever seen anyone die. …she told me about the one she saw–a sailor who jumped off the roof of the Graymore Hotel in Portland, Maine, and landed in the street. ‘He splattered,’ my mother said in her most matter-of-fact tone. She paused, then added, ‘The stuff that came out of him was green. I have never forgotten it.’ That makes two of us, Mom.” – Stephen King from “On Writing: A Memoir of The Craft” … Cracks me up!!!