This week, Johnny Goodluck learns that when Erika Icon is on the payroll, if it isn’t for bad luck you’ll have no luck at all!
Here we are again with the latest edition MikeSouth.com’s ‘Week in Review, retrospective, a little something we call ‘The Worst Porn PR of the Week‘. It should surprise no one that this week’s winner is, once again, Erika Icon of The Rub PR, the most incompetent publicist in the adult business.
We pause to remind readers that this feature is not provided for entertainment value alone; it represents a service to the adult industry clients who are assuredly NOT getting their money’s worth when they pay for publicity services.
The returning champion
We’ve said it before: if typographical errors, grammatical errors, clichés and repetitive phrasing were crimes, Erika would be on death row.
This week’s award-winning PR by Erika Icon carries the hefty heading:
Modern-day James Bond of porn Johnny Goodluck is helping break Kink.com newbie Kendra Heart in for a new scene for their Bound Gangbangs site.
Now, in the English language, the proper way to formulate that sentence in press release format would be:
‘Modern-Day James Bond of Porn’ Johnny Goodluck helps break in Kink.com newbie Kendra Heart in new scene for its Bound Gangbangs site.
The cumbersome way Erika has composed the sentence makes it sound as though Mr. Goodluck is warming Kendra up for a scene to come, as opposed to “breaking her in” during the scene. It transforms her client from co-star to fluffer.
Johnny Goodluck is on OC Modeling‘s talent roster. As we have mentioned before, OC Modeling’s Sandra McCarthy is one of the few people in adult who can actually tolerate Erika the buffet killer.
Here’s the opening paragraph of the press release that actually poor Johnny Goodluck paid good money for. As per our custom, no alterations have been made; this is exactly how the press release went out to media.
This is 6th-grade reading level stuff.
“It’s always great to break a newbie in at Kink.com. Kendra was on her knees, opening all her holes, and totally ready to be initiated at Bound Gangbangs,” says Johnny Goodluck. “I was happy to get a lot of screen time, and Kendra was incredible. I’ve even happier that I’m a staple anchor for Kink, and you’re going to be seeing even more of me on their sites now.”
Does that “quote” sound anything at all like a quote? It reads like something from the conjunction-strewn hellscape of Erika Icon’s boilerplate.
The paragraph that follows reads like a catalog of random neural firings:
Another place you will find Johnny is Demon Seed Radio Fridays from 5pm to 7pm PST/8pm to 10pm EST. He’s the newest co-host and a producer. He’s already brought top industry guests to the show, including Bunny Colby, Lexi Lore, Anna Bell Peaks, and Draven Star. Johnny joins the original crew of Bobby Genital and Whitney Morgan.
Top industry guests. . . like Bunny Colby, whose sugar daddy bought her a year’s worth of PR from — you guessed it – Erika Icon’s the Rub PR.
LOL Some gift.
And now we get to the traditional ‘ABOUT . . .’ segment of the press release. Once again, Icon’s touch is unmistakable. The section is awful and amateurish in a way that only our returning champion can accomplish.
Johnny Goodluck is the modern-day James Bond of porn with a tatted rockabilly style. He’s a professionally trained chef who has held the titles of Head Chef and Executive Chef and owned his own catering/personal chef company. A talented man on many fronts, he’s also a stellar musician with drums as specialty, and the newest co-host and producer of the Demon Seed Radio Show.his
Once again, she has attempted to fix her anti-grammatical mess by adding a missing pronoun, but can’t even manage to line up the cursor of her word processor between the words “as” and “specialty”. Instead, “his” is clumsily tacked on to the end of the paragraph, rendering it even more nonsensical.
Great Hemingway’s Ghost please make it STOP!
4 Responses
Erika has actually improved this week. I might be generous and actually give her the D- this week. She is capable of better, though.
Out of curiosity, is the Bunny Colby featured in Erika’s press release the same one that helped fuck over Derek Hay in that NBC Los Angeles expose on him? There was some chick calling herself the same name trash talking Derek in that piece of shit they call “investigative” journalism (which should have actually been investigating Dan Pryzygoda’s dick and balls, I wonder if he was getting some pussy from his female subjects in exchange for producing that piece of shit).
Same Bunny Colby, yes. With the most intolerably ditzy voice in porn.
Wasn’t Bunny a Russian girl named Nadya and she changed her name to Bunny Colby?
Yes. Nabakova.