Does Bat Boy plan to purchase Penthouse? — EXCLUSIVE!

We got an interesting email the other day. I attempted to reach out to Kelly Holland, the current CEO of Penthouse, via morse code for a comment but didn’t have any luck.

When Bob Guccione, the founder of Penthouse died, creditors seized most of his assets. In 1982, his net worth was estimated at around $400 million. When he died at the age of 79, he was bankrupt.

He had lost much of his personal fortune on bad investments and risky ventures. The bank even took Bob’s solid gold toilet!

According to a source familiar with Guccione’s estate, one of Bob’s creditors was a private holding company secretly owned by the terrifying creature known only as Bat Boy.

The sharp-toothed creature apparently entered Guccione’s life around 1990, at the same time the Penthouse founder was getting involved in some heavy shit — such as a trove of material featuring rock ‘n’ roll legend Chuck Berry.

Bat Boy, it is well known, was the malevolent presence behind Mansef, Manwin and Brazzers, before being forced out by the current management of Manwin’s successor-in-interest, Mindgeek.

It’s also become clear in recent weeks that Bat Bay provided Stormy Daniels the top secret proprietary technology needed to build her time machine, which, as reported in an earlier.  EXCLUSIVE, she intends to use to travel back to 2016 and prevent an earlier version of herself from signing the hush agreement with Donald Trump’s attorney Michael Cohen.

Bat Boy Begins

In 2004, a private-equity investor from Florida acquired Penthouse in a bankruptcy sale. Penthouse and related properties were later purchased by FriendFinder Networks Inc. FriendFinder Networks would go on to sell off Penthouse and related assets to Kelly Holland and her group of private investors.

The person who contacted us claims that Bat Boy intends to purchase Penthouse’s assets at auction for pennies on the dollar in order to consolidate his evil grip on the international adult industry.

Even more shocking, our source claims that the diabolical Bat Boy is in possession of Bob Guccione’s severed penis, which he keeps stuffed in a jar of Karo Syrup!

RIP Bob’s penis


Our source went on to wonder aloud if Kelly Holland allowed Penthouse to slip because she is terrified of what Bat Boy might do to her and the livestock at her Chatsworth ranch.

We reached out to a former Penthouse employee to see if they knew anything about it and they had this to say: “Please leave my name out of it. I’m not longer at Penthouse and don’t want to be dragged into any more of Kelly Holland’s drama. But yes, as far as I know, she is terrified of Bat Boy. She received some type of communication from his company and went white as a sheet. I don’t know what it said. I never thought to ask. It wasn’t really my business.

Again we reached out to Kelly Holland, this time via courier pigeon, to try and get a comment.

I’m not saying this is all an evil plot by Bat Boy, but the person who contacted us sure is convinced is it.

We are 95% certain of the accuracy of this post.

What do you think?


Coming soon: Bay Boy and the Secret of Al Capone’s OTHER Vault

257470cookie-checkDoes Bat Boy plan to purchase Penthouse? — EXCLUSIVE!

Does Bat Boy plan to purchase Penthouse? — EXCLUSIVE!

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2 Responses

  1. Sounds like Kelly should take Bat Boy for a trip around her world. Maybe he would let her keep her job that way. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

    More seriously, Kelly always seemed to have some class until she and her investors bought Penthouse. I don’t know if she is just a shitty businesswoman or if she intended dishonesty and probably embezzlement but her management of Penthouse along with her crude, probably drunken sexual harassment of her male employees really made her look like porn’s second biggest idiot. Oh well, I would still sleep with her as long as she has a negative adult industry VD panel taken within the past 14 days. She can give me all the Viagra she wants, I won’t object. However, I will want to handcuff and/or tie her up tight during sex.

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