Success is like having your balls massaged. You never want it to stop. If you’re lucky enough to have a girlfriend with father issues, you’ll never have to worry about it stopping. There’s no better feeling than a pleaser tenderizing your bag for an hour until your balls feel retarded. I once knew a chick that used to spread my scrotum out like a bat wing and cover her entire mouth with it until she couldn’t breathe. Did I tell you that I like girls with father issues? Like I was saying… Success is something that we always want to achieve and build upon. It’s the American way.
I used to hear female reality television stars talk about hoping to get a Playboy magazine spread once MTV was done with them. For some delusional reason, these women actually thought that being featured nude in Playboy could somehow turn them into A-list celebrity talent overnight. Even though the same tired scenario had already been played out countless number of times by other reality television wannabes and female wrestlers that didn’t amount to shit. These women thought that THEY would be the ones to finally break out and become the exception.
Something similar to this occurs in the adult industry too. You hear porn actresses talking about wanting to crossover and become legitimate actresses as well. It’s funny to me how the reality television chicks want to take their clothes off and the porn stars want to keep them on. Last time I noticed, I don’t remember ever hearing about Cate Blanchett doing a double anal as part of her early rise to Oscar stardom. If not Oscar caliber roles, then what kind of other mainstream roles can a porn star expect to crossover into? Reality television? A topless extra in a movie? Most of these gigs pay nothing or close to nothing. The average porn star working regularly in Chatsworth makes more money than over 50% of the members of the Screen Actors Guild. What the fuck is left then? The paparazzi can take photos of you shopping on Robertson all day and that won’t pay you shit either. Jenna Jameson has made appearances in a few movies and had a book released with her name on the cover. Do you think those crossover projects paid for the Rolls Royce she’s driving? SHE MADE HER MONEY IN PORN!!!!!
The moral of the story is this. I can’t get enough of having my balls scratched. I actually enjoy it more than sex sometimes. It could become an addiction if I let it go too far. My girlfriend used to be afraid about accidentally hurting me because I like it so hard. I want it to feel like a falcon soared into the bedroom and landed on my balls while clamping on for dear life. I want it to feel like the jaws of life are trying to remove an illegal family of 12 from my balls like a border van accident.
