Dropping By To Say Hello. Nice To See I Still Have A Parking Space

First off, a big thanks to Mike South for the opportunity to post today. For those who don’t know, or who tried their hardest to wipe my presence from their memories, I used to be a contributor here back in 08′ and 09′. Mike has been a tremendous ally in helping me navigate this industry. I will always be indebted and definitely owe you one Mike!

Much of what I used to write about here had to do with my experiences crossing over from mainstream to adult. Yeah, you read that right. I was a mainstream writer, producer, and even composed theme songs for television shows. From MTV reality to Saturday morning cartoons, you can credit me as a willing accomplice in driving television into a brick wall. Or in porn terms, Kurt Lockwood.

In an effort to keep this post from turning into printable Ambien, I will cut to the fucking chase. I got burnt out. You can only shit the bed for so long and have it magically turn into cash. For clarity of purpose, that last sentence is by no means a reference to Ed Powers or Dirty Debutants Volume 563 thru 10,478.

Prior to finally walking away from mainstream full-time, I moonlighted on a couple of porn sets as a production consultant and got a feel for how the industry worked. I came to the realization rather quickly that taking off your clothes on camera and getting double penetrated by strangers is one of the most honest forms of entertainment that has ever been created. I will always have more respect for a woman who willingly uses her asshole to make money than some anonymous “powerful” mainstream Viacom bean counter who budgets booze money on set for the sole purpose of getting your 19 year old daughter from Kansas drunk in a hot tub so he can show her asshole to the world for free under the guise of “stardom”.

With that being said, I had enough FU money to walk away from mainstream for good and set my sites on building something new in adult entertainment. A genre of porn that had never been created before. MTV reality style production + fucking = can’t lose. Well, it didn’t lose because I never even got around to completing production on the first episode. In fact, I haven’t done much of anything this past year. I found out right around the time I stopped posting on MikeSouth.com that I had a contract out on my life. Not as a result of anything I willfully did to someone. I’ve always kept my nose clean and have never been a troublemaker. It was just a matter of me having too much free time on my hands. Along with a successful journeyman track record in Hollywood that attracted the wrong crowd. The “wrong crowd” being a 300 pound female owner of an escort agency who got offended by my refusal to produce a reality series based on her business and tried to shake me down because she thought I was a mark. Well, I wasn’t a mark. And thankfully, the bad guys are where bad guys go and I live to eat ass another day.

In the end, an unfortunate situation turned out to be a great adventure. One that will hopefully make a good book someday. Or at the very least, I can sit down on a couch next to Shelley Lubben and power cry about how I was a victim of a sex slave operation while being recorded on a handicam with bad white balance.

I’m looking forward to getting back to work on the adult side. I have a feeling the adventures will continue… Great to be back on MikeSouth.com.