It used to be that I couldn’t wait to leave the city so I could go relax in suburbia where I could lay out by a pool or take a walk through a grassy park and watch downlow gay guys blow each other behind trees. Now that I’m in my 30’s, I can’t wait to leave suburbia to get back to the city.
I came to the realization these past couple of years that sprawling identical Officemax/PetCo shopping centers every couple of miles no longer represents me “getting away from things” or relaxing. It seems like, unconsciously, whenever I travel these days, I automatically find myself mapquesting how far I am from the closest nearby filth. I don’t do this because I am an addict. Alcoholism and drug abuse luckily doesn’t run in my family. I seek out the “filth” because that’s where the real people and the honesty tends to be based on my experience.
It’s always been said that you have to go to America’s heartland to find real true American values. You mean to tell me that a life insurance salesman in Indiana is more honest than a stripper hustling for a few bucks in a dive bar? Who created the myth that the guy with the perfect looking family in Ohio who sells cars for a living is somehow more respectable than me because I take photos of nude women? Bullshit.
Anytime a person removes their clothes in a commercial way or has sex for money, there is a natural vulnerability that is communicated. Not a weakness. A vulnerability that says this is who I am and this is what I do. Take it or leave it. How many other industries can you find that same level of honesty?
I get approached by so-called respectable salesmen all the time who’s direct mission is to shake me down for as much money as they possibly can. A guy selling life insurance will ask to see my personal credit history and private medical records before giving me the cost of his services. THEN, after seeing how much money I have, he has the balls to pull out a blank sheet of paper and completely make up a price depending on how much money he thinks he can get out of me! Tell me how this insurance transaction is more respectable than giving a stripper a few extra bucks in the back room of a bar to use her hand on me to re-create ANOTHER natural phenomenon known as Old Faithful.
The hypocrisy of sex and respectability has been around since the beginning of time. I don’t want this blog to start sounding like I’m a 350 pound lesbian feminist on HBO’s “Real Sex”, so I will keep it short and to the point. Anyone who has ever spent anytime perusing web sites such as Flickr and the porn tubes knows full well the sheer amount of secret old men married perverts in the heartland who take photos of themselves wearing their wives underwear or shoving dildo’s up their assess while some sort of high school wood shop device is clamped to their balls. I have no problem if this is what it takes for you to get off. Just don’t be a fucking public hypocrite and pretend to be holier than thou and persecute other people who make the choice to do this for a living. There is nothing creepier than a closet fucking pervert who says goodbye to his family as he embarks on a business trip then has hookers sticking needles in his dick at 2AM in some Holiday Inn while his family is home thinking he’s father of the year.
The moral of the story is this. I would rather be stabbed in the front than in the back so I can at least see when I’m going to get fucked. 9 times out of 10 a hooker capable of ripping you off will do so to your face. On the 10th time, you’re more likely to wake up the next morning with your cock looking like the lunch special at a local Dim Sum.
A rare programming note: After much counsel with my clergy, I have decided to dip my toes into the narcissism known as Twitter. In between reading posts on MikeSouth.com, you can follow me at stevelick666 where I’ll be serving up 500 posts a day like, “I’m tired”, “my foot hurts”, and “I just went to the bathroom in the shape of a pretzel”. See you there.
3 Responses
“Just don’t be a fucking public hypocrite and pretend to be holier than thou and persecute other people who make the choice to do this for a living. ”
New Scientist magazine has a brief article on this (google Porn in the USA: Conservatives are biggest consumers)
Insurance agents charge different rates based upon things like credit ratings, liquidity, income levels, et cetera because, surprise surprise, people who are better at maintaining these things are more likely to pay their premiums. It’s called insurance for reason. It’s the pooling of risk.
You can’t be this stupid. Talk about intellectual dishonesty.
Thanks for the comment goodwill, but you are either naive to the methodologies of “for profit industry” or perhaps I hit too close to home with my example occupation.
There are REAL costs associated with almost all products and services in a marketplace. Even insurance. However, just like insurance, real estate, buying a car, or even negotiating the terms of a gym membership, there are many salesmen who will pull out a blank sheet of paper at the end of their sales pitch (or after reviewing your information) and write down a price THEY THINK THEY CAN SELL YOU FOR. What makes these types of transactions more dignified than your average street hustler? They aren’t, and that was my point.