I Have Gotten Many Scam Emails In My Day But Thios One Is The BEST:

From: “Jenny Brooks” <[email protected]>
Subject: attend to mail

Dear Sir/Madam

My name is Mrs. Jenny Brooks; I am a dying woman who has decided to donate what I have to you/ church. I am 59 years old and I was diagnosed for cancer for about 2 years ago, immediately after the death of my husband, who has left me everything he worked for.

I have been touched by God to donate from what I have inherited from my late husband to you for the good work of God, rather than allow my relatives to use my husband hard earned funds ungodly. Please pray that the good Lord forgive me my sins. I have asked God to forgive me and I believe he has because He is a merciful God. I will be going in for an operation in less than one hour.

I decided to WILL/donate the sum of $2,500,000 (two million five hundred thousand dollars) to you for the good work of the lord, and also to help the motherless and less privilege and also for the assistance of the widows.

At the moment I cannot take any telephone calls right now due to the fact that my relatives are around me and my health status. I have adjusted my WILL and my lawyer is aware I have changed my will you and he will arrange the transfer of the funds from my account to you.

I wish you all the best and may the good Lord bless you abundantly, and please use the funds well and always extend the good work to others.
Contact my lawyer (Barrister David Tango) with this specified email: [email protected] and tell him that I have WILLED ($2,500,000.00) to you and I have also notified him that I am WILLING that amount to you for a specific and good work. I know I don’t know you but I have been directed to do this. Thanks and God bless.

NB: I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the task is accomplished as I don’t want anything that will jeopardize my last wish. And Also I will be contacting with you by email as I don’t want my relation or anybody to know because they are always around me.

Regards,
Jenny Brooks (Mrs.)

Well Jenny I can’t thank you enough…Imagine all the strippers…I mean single moms I can help with all that money. May the merciful God you proclaim to believe in ease your suffering soon….

Batman (Who Would Know) Writes:

Not Gay, OK maybe metro sexual, a name given to guys that like to look neat and clean without liking dick.
The fact that Fifi was doing it to you carries a huge weight in your heterosexual favor. She is hot and most very straight men would let her do many things to them. As for Jimmy D, well he does spend a lot of time alone in that porn studio of his, when he pops out who knows what he is going to look like. In fact I will make a call to him tomorrow to ask him to be on my next show, just so a few people can see he is still alive and kicking.
PS- I bet he’s not kicking the same purty toes that you are.
Tony Batman
www.TonyBatman.com

Do NOT Try This At Home, I Am A Trained Professional:

Thats Me eating cheesecake off of Ron Jeremy’s Plate…and I didn’t even loose an arm..

Speaking Of Ronnie:

I get asked a lot who is the best known person in porn. Let me put it this way. In the eating establishment where the above picture was taken, People were asking Ronnie for photos and autographs all night and Ronnie ALWAYS was happy to do it, even in the middle of dinner.

Now had that been Jenna there instead of Ronnie, how many people would have recognized her…My bet is not a single one.

Indeed during the course of the Miami Exxotica Show Ronnie signed WAY more autographs than did Jenna, without a doubt,. and most of the people in line for Jenna’s autograph couldn’t correctly pick her from 3 photos of blonde porn chicks (Jenna, Nikki Benz and Gina Lynn)

When people were confronted with Pictures of Ronnie, Tim Case and John Holmes, every single person could correctly identify Ron Jeremy.

I rest my case.

How Successful Was Exxxotica Miami?

In a word, very. but the organizers did a lot of things right. They had it at a well known convention center in a desireable city to visit. They heavily promoted that Jenna, Ron Jeremy and Tera would be there. They paid at least Jenna BIG bucks to attend (I hear 55K plus expenses) Even though she only signed briefly on Fri and Sat and none on Sunday. The show drew a lot of fans on Fri and Saturday and some people in attendance said there were as many as Erotica L.A. I don’t know about that because I have never gone to Erotica L.A. but attendance was good.

Now does this equate to money? I honestly don’t know how the vendors who paid for booth space felt about it, I suspect Next years show will tell.

I Couldn’t help but think of Luke Ford when I saw this

What They Did VERY VERY WRONG:

The biggest complaint from vendors and fans alike was over Luther Cambell’s booth. These ghetto idiots seemed to think that everyone in the convention center wanted to hear that shitty ass music they played…it was WAY too loud and it sucked. Luther’s only claim to fame was as Luke Skywaker in 2 Live Crew, whose only hit had only one memorable line which was in fact stolen from the movie “Full Metal Jacket”

Next time leave that mother fucker where he belongs, singin on the corner someplace.

Nobody wants to hear that shit.

OK JimmyD…I Called You A Fag When You Considered It:

At least I had Fifi giving me my pedicure…Have at it y’all…Does this make me gay?

06/16/2006

Looks Like Me And Jason Sechrest Will Be Spending Eternity Together:

We almost got arrested…apparently the miami Beach cops consider photographing protestors in public to be “harrassing them” The cop told Paige and I that if we didn’t leave immediately we would be arrested for “harrassing the Christians”…shit better than feeding them to the lions but I wasn’t in the mood and I had an appointment to get my tat…maybe next time.