From: Kerri (aka Kylie Ireland) & Bryn (aka… uh… Bryn)
Location: XXXXX
XXXXXXX, Los Angeles, CA View Map
When: Saturday, December 6, 9:00pm
Phone: XXX.XXX.XXXX
Greetings, and Happy Whatever!
Yes, it’s the holidays again… long nights, crowded malls, annoying carols and drunken relatives spilling cheap champagne all over you as they try to grope your privates. This year, why not celebrate in true, decadent style?
Planted between Thanksgiving and Christmas, it’s our last orgy of the year, just when you need the stress relief! So join us for food, frolic, sexy, tipsy folks with compatible body parts, spankings, Sybian rides, door prizes and NO CAROLS!
We don’t supply any booze, since neither of us drinks, but you’re welcome to bring your own. In lieu of a fully-stocked bar we supply lots of room to maneuver and a fully stocked dungeon, which you’ll agree is much better.
Also, for those still around at daybreak (and there are always a few of you, aren’t there?) we’ll be making a pilgrimage to Clifton’s for breakfast; a bizarre Los Angeles landmark, and a truly surreal experience!
For those who’ve never joined us in our revelry before, here are the rules, and answers to several burning questions:
1. Is this an ACTUAL orgy, or are you being sarcastic?
–It’s the real deal. Kind of a party with sex encouraged.
2. What if I don’t wanna have sex? What if I just want to hang out, and maybe be titillated?
–No sweat. This is a no-pressure environment. No one is obligated to do anything. You might get hit on, but we make it really easy to say no without hurting anyone’s feelings.
3. Can single guys come?
–Nope. Sorry guys, but unless you’ve gotten a special dispensation from either K or myself, ya gotta find a date, even if she’s just a “friend.”
4. Can I bring friends?
–We have faith that anyone we’re inviting can judge for themselves if their friends can handle it. Just remember, the “single guys” rule applies to them, too.
5. No, really, an orgy?
–Really.
6. What do I need to bring?
–Food & soft drinks are always welcome. We have lots of condoms and lube, but if you have a preference, you should bring it. Something comfy to wear after you succumb to your urges is always a good idea.
7. Will the Webcams be on?
–One room will have a working cam for those who feel exhibitionistic (there’s no record of the pictures the Webcams send, so you’re safe). The rest will be off. There’s also a room with doors that lock for those who want a little privacy.
8. What if I’m not comfortable with my body?
–Get over it. If I can be naked in front of people, so can you.
9. Can I bang Kylie?
–Sure! Our collective mission this year is to keep Kylie from walking for at least three days afterwards, and I’ll be managing her/our dance card, so those of you who wish to play, please get your reservations in early!
10. Anything else?
–Yes, PLEASE RSVP so we can get an idea of who’s coming. And above all, remember: NO means NO. This will be my eighth orgy; I’ve never had problems before, and I don’t intend to start now.
We’ll see you then!
Well I wasn’t invited to this thing but my buddy Adella was, I think they figured I’d be Adella’s date…..Oddly enough it wasn’t Adella who sent me this, I think she is holding out on me. I’m not sure if this qualifies as jumping the pony or not.
I hope to have a full report on this the day after.
