No Means No, even in Porn! What a “NO” list really is all about

I run a website called How to be a Porn Star, where I try and teach up and coming stars everything they need to know about being in porn.

One of the things I teach them is that they have the right to say no.

It might surprise some outsiders but no means no, even in porn. Every performer has rights. They don’t have to do anything they don’t want to do.

  • If you don’t like someone, don’t have sex with them.
  • If you want to have sex with a condom on, let your agent know.
  • If you only want to do boy/girl scenes with your boyfriend, say so.
  • If you don’t want to work on Sunday’s – then don’t.
  • If you don’t want to do anal, then don’t.
  • If you don’t want to do interracial, then don’t.
  • If you don’t want to do bondage, then don’t.

As each new performer signs up with an agent, they give them a list of things they will or won’t do and sometimes they include people they don’t want to work with for any particular reason.

They don’t have to give their agent a reason why, they just say – I don’t want to work with X or do X and that’s that.

  • If you don’t like someone, don’t have sex with them.
  • If you want to have sex with a condom on, let your agent know.
  • If you only want to do boy/girl scenes with your boyfriend, say so.
  • If you don’t want to work on Sunday’s – then don’t.
  • If you don’t want to do anal, then don’t.
  • If you don’t want to do interracial, then don’t.
  • If you don’t want to do bondage, then don’t.

Now to be clear, just as a performer has the right to say no to having sex with a person, or to do or not to do some sex act, producers have rights too and they have the right not to want to book you as a result.

But in the end, you (the performer) are the one who is in power.  You say what and will and won’t do and who you will and won’t do.

Never be afraid to say no!

Don’t let your agent, another performer, or a producer pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do. You can say no to anything for any reason.

Sometimes you’ll find that there are just some people you aren’t compatible with. For example, a guy in the industry may escort bareback in his spare time and that puts him at a high risk for contracting STD’s or worse, HIV.

For that reason, you want to avoid working with him – put him on your no list. You don’t have to say why, and nobody will really probably ever ask.

Some girls won’t work with guys who have a cock that is too big because when you have to do long scenes it can hurt the next day – so as a result, they put certain guys on their no list.

And it’s not just male talent that females put on their no list.

There was one well-known porn star, one of the most popular a few years ago who was a really infamous party girl. She would go out to bars, get drunk, pick up guys and fuck them right at the club (without a condom).

She was always coming home with some STD. It was crazy how many times that girl got gonorrhea. A whole bunch of girls in the industry knew this about her and as a result put her on their no list – refusing to do g/g scenes with her or three ways.

It wasn’t that they didn’t like her as a person, they just didn’t want to put themselves at a higher risk for contracting an STD because of her risky behavior.

Also don’t forget, if you want to be in porn or know someone who does, be sure and check out my website How to be a Porn Star!

 

Hello, my name is Kelli Roberts. I am a published author, AVN nominated producer, and webmaster who has worked in the adult industry since August of 1996.

2 Replies to “No Means No, even in Porn! What a “NO” list really is all about”

  1. mharris127

    Excellent article, Kelli. The linked website is also informative. For more detail, Kelli also has a Kindle e-book and a paperback on Amazon, it was written a couple of years ago now but I think it is still highly accurate. I will include a link, since I don’t know the new site owner’s policy on commercial links if he/she feels the need to remove it please go ahead and do so — also, I have not monetized the link: https://smile.amazon.com/How-Porn-Star-Kelli-Roberts-ebook/dp/B015HIBL0C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495928047&sr=8-1&keywords=How+to+be+a+porn+star . I see several others have published books purported to provide similar information, since I haven’t read them I can’t vouch for them but Kelli’s book is something all aspiring porn performers and directors should read cover to cover.

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