MikeSouth.Com

I spent my birthday in Dayton hanging out with the various miscreants, anarchists and unmentionable peelers that frequent the  Flamingo Showclub  (A few do have remarkable talents) It was a fun time, yes I got laid quite a bit….but I won’t incriminate anyone here….

I do want to thank Kayden Kross for updating 5 out of the 10 days I was gone.

So I get home and as usual my mailbox is stuffed with junk and bills but theres a few birthday cards in there, one in particular jumped out at me…from none other than the Princess of Posting herself…Kayden Kross.

Now as most of you know Kayden and I have worked very closely together the last year and a half and I feel as though we have bonded quite a bit in the process.  We share many interests and lately she has been on a mission to have me read books that she thinks will make me tear up, The latest being Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road”, which by the way was a good book but it didn’t make me tear up, a fact which presumeably leads her to the conclusion that I must be some sort of heartless bastard. (BTW I liked “No Country For Old Men” Better)

Getting back to the birthday card I find myself wondering, anticipating even, what might lay inside.  Might she pour out her heartfelt feelings for me, bringing a mist over my my eyes and warming my arctic like heart? Or maybe it will be something short and kind giving me a warm and happy feeling, making all the hours of grief and hard work worth it with just a well chosen thought or wish. Or maybe she decided I needed a new truck and its a gift certificate for a Ford F150 Super Duty, Fully loaded, I mean it’s not like she can’t afford what with her new contract and all. Or maybe it’s a certificate for one free blowjob on a boat, like another young lady friend offered.

The possibilities are endless.

Indeed.

I anxiously open it to find a card with a guy who looks like a younger Randy West lying on the beach, inside the card it says “Thought you might like some roasted nuts for your birthday” and an inscription that reads “Mike This man is pure sexiness and he’s just for you. Happy Birthday, Love  Kayden.”

What The Fuck is THAT?

Did she mix them up and send me one that was supposed to go to Christian X or Nick Manning or someone?

Just damn. I almost cried.

Wait till YOUR birthday rolls around Bitch….

I was out on the trails today with Conte and I’m proud to report I’ve made it back alive and with only minor bruising. The trails out here suck. That’s as plain and simple as I can make it. They run along a barbed wire and chain link fence along a cement river between neighborhoods and under freeways. Not tranquil. I took him out alone and our first hiccup happened when a large water truck was running back and forth along the arena of a nearby ranch. I was loud and big and bright and that is the horses’ natural predator as far as they are concerned. It took all of my strength to keep him from bolting. Then we went through a narrow part that feels like a scaled down ravine and he didn’t like that either. Then we hit a bridge I’ve never crossed before because it scares me. It looks like something that belongs on an Indiana Jones set that is specially designed to break apart with just a little pressure. It was rust colored and perilous. The sign in front said ride at your own risk. Six horses maximum weight. I looked down at the shallow little cement river rushing beneath and thought there wasn’t much cushioning there if we went down. I held my breath and urged him forward. 

Things horses don’t like: Hollow sounds underneath them. Creaking and groaning. Being alone. Sudden movements.

Things Conte was dealing with all at once: All of the above. Oh yeah. And bouncing. He got nervous and started prancing and it made the bridge shake and sent waves of motion through it to both ends as if it were made of rubber. The motion hit the ends of both sides and then came back towards us. He in turn got more anxious and pranced higher. This caused more motion. More groaning and squeaking. The horse had so much nervous energy going through him he was practically vibrating. You don’t realize how powerful they are until they make your life flash before your eyes. I imagined him trying to climb over the sides. Bucking me off and sending me flying over the sides. Side slamming the sides. Rearing up and tipping over the sides. It was too narrow to turn around and we were in the middle by then anyway.

We got through and then I was stuck with the task of getting him back over it later. By then he was so strung out that even a shift in the saddle would make him jump. We had some rears and crow hop bucks. We laughed. We cried. I was half way back to the ranch when the giant yellow tractor came out of nowhere. This one definitely was a horse eating tractor. It had jaws. It was coming right at him and gaining speed. He backed into the barbed wire fence. I decided I was done fighting and would just hand walk him until we got past it and calmed down. He threw me at the last minute. He bolted when I still had one foot in the stirrup on the way down. Only one side of me is bruised. 

If you’re wondering why I keep my horse I can’t give you a good answer. Guilt. Love. Steadfast will. It’s still cheaper than a coke habit. Who knows. 

If you’re wondering why I’m talking about my horse on Mike’s site it’s because nothing else of interest has happened lately.

But he can’t say I didn’t post today.  

This comment was posted on the Big Proud Scrotal Sacks blog I put up:

“Would you pay $11.82 for a plate? I would. Mikasa, a 60 year old dinnerware company, sells a Cheers Diamond Dinner Plate for just about that price. From their website: “The Cheers pattern is made of fine china that is accented with whimsical dots, stripes, and spirals for a cheerful and useable mix and match concept. All pieces are dishwasher and microwave safe, and are sure to be used day in and day out.” Versatility in style and durability in construction. $11.82 is 1/118th of $1,400.00.

Incidentally, 17 cents is also just about 1/118th of $27.13. 17 cents is what it would cost me - in wear and tear to my computer, electricity, and broadband connectivity - to spend 140 minutes (in 7 twenty-minute sessions) looking at free pictures of you on Freeones.com. A simple use of their “order by date” function shows that there were 85 free galleries featuring you as of August 1st, 2008. If, on average, each gallery features 15 pictures and if I spend, on average, 10 seconds looking at each one, accounting for an additional 30 seconds needed for navigation, it will take me an average of 3 minutes to consume a gallery. I would need to look at 7 galleries in order to spend a full twenty minutes on that site; and I would need 49 galleries in order to do so 7 times. Leaving me another 36 galleries of which I have no need, except perhaps to compensate for any redundant galleries.

All fascinating, certainly, but why the figures? Why, specifically, 20 minutes, 7 times, and $20.13?

If individual photo galleries and/or videos on your pay website, ClubKayden.com, are in keeping with what I, to the extent of my knowledge, consider to be the average size/length of particular updates on other porn sites, then it would take me 20 minutes to consume an update from ClubKayden aswell.

If, on August 1st, 2008, I had purchased a one-month subscription to your site, I would have had access to 7 updates featuring you - either solo or with another person(s). This is the date at which, as best as I can tell, your has been live - or at least providing significant content. It is all I would have had to look at.

If I were to consume “new” (to me) content featuring you via Freeones.com at the same rate that I would be able to consume it from ClubKayden.com, it would have cost me a price that was 1/118th of the same 140 minutes spent consuming ClubKayden content. Instead of paying $19.96 for a month of access, and in addition to the same 17 cents worth of fixed costs, I would only be paying the fixed costs. $0.17 is 1/118th of $20.13.

Now, of course, my argument falls apart once we consider any activity beyond this 30 day time frame. After just another 30 days - September, 2008 - my virtually-free source of Kayden Kross content from Freeones would exhaust itself. The rate in which new galleries are added could not keep up with the rate at which I would consume them. Additionally, if taken as a whole, the monthly update average on ClubKayden increases by over 50% - from 7 to just over 11 - in latter months. Eventually, I would be left with no choice but to subscribe to ClubKayden in order to consume unseen content. This would run up the cost to just over 60% of what it would have cost to just subscribe in the first place and to forego the free content. Or, in “plate terms,” I would be paying $840.00 for a plate; hardly expressive of a fundamental difference in my previous attitude towards money.

But such extra-contextual considerations beg the question: why consider them? What is it about the product which guarantees that irrational financial decisions are inevitable? Especially when the difference between rationality and irrationality is so strikingly large? Why wouldn’t a rational man, when you slapped him with such an increase in cost, give you a virtual “fuck off” and go find another woman’s free content? Why would he take your shit?

If you claim to be the type of person unwilling to exploit the weaknesses (ie: irrationalities) of men, and if you claim to hold their money in high regard, and if you wish to be certain of it for longer than an evening of blogging about it, you must answer that question. You must explain why so much of your pornographic content - the source of your livlihood - is available for next to nothing when so much of virtually the same thing is available aswell, but at an 11,800% mark up. Or, more accurately, you must explain why this comports with your professed convictions.

You must explain to yourself why the emotions driving that woman to substitute a $1,400.00 plate for authentic respect for her husband are not the same emotions driving a man to substitute a $20.13 porn site subscription for the capacity for sexual joy that 17 cents worth of electricity, internet connectivity, and free content is supposed to be sustaining (and not exploiting). Explain to yourself why that psychologically neutered man you observed is not doing the same thing as a sexually patinaed woman giving into whatever weak pretentiousness she thinks she must identify, entertain, and ultimately appease in order to survive - and fluorish (financially at least).”

Ok as weird and out of context as I find your post, I’ll respond to it. Forget the fact that you’re comparing a personal relationship to how I run a small adult entertainment business. Whether a man determines that he gets any utility from some hardcore pictures of a stranger vs. how he lets his life partner treat him have no correlation as far as I can tell. What I can tell you is that those I know personally I’ve already given free login information to. That alone should hurt your argument.

You’re confusing hormones with emotions. Hormones are what drive people to search for jack off material on the internet. People don’t pay for membership to my site because they’re emotionally attached and I’m stringing them along. They’re paying for my site because they have dicks and healthy sexual appetites and I happen to appeal to their jack off taste for the moment. If you think I should be offering this service for free then you obviously are no objectivist yourself.

You must understand utility as well. I’m sure you do. I’m sure you aren’t assuming that the personal satisfaction that man got out of the $1400 dish was at all equal to the personal satisfaction that a man must get out of a month’s worth of fresh updates for $20.

Even if you were right, and my naked pictures have somehow skyrocketed to the level of a marital relationship, then your numbers are wrong.

You are basing everything on the number $1400 for a month. I guarantee that woman cost the eunuch much more than $1400 that month. I would say even more than $1400 just that day. I doubt she got decked out and went down to the mall with him for one dish. She already had shopping bags on her arms. She was covered in jewelry and Burberry. So unless I’m charging $20 a day for membership you can’t even compare the two (not that you should be in the first place).

Now you don’t seem to understand the online adult business very well either. I’m no expert, but after reading your response I can gage that I know more than you. You based your numbers on a 15 picture set. Do you know why Freeones gets free 15 picture sets? Because they are teaser sets given to them by the site that owns the content. For example, when ClubKayden.com or Suze.net sends 15 pictures to Freeones, Freeones then links back to the site and creates traffic. And it’s called a teaser because you’re only seeing 15 pictures out of a 90 picture set. So recalculate the time it takes you to consume a full set.

Please also recalculate the time it would take you to go through the content on my site. My site went officially live Sept. 15^th, but we did a trial launch on Sept. 1^st. Do you honestly think I launched my site with no back dated galleries and videos? Do you think I turned on my site and whoever signed up got access to my one and only content update for that day? No. Stupid. I shot and stored content for one year before my site went live. And do you really believe that you’re only getting 7 updates a month? The first month we did daily updates, and now we do updates 5x a week.

You also dumbed down exactly what you get out of a membership. A membership to ClubKayden.com does give you original picture updates. That’s what you based your math on. Now please calculate in the original video updates, the live chats, the girl of the month updates, and the hardcore content from other models. All of these things are updated weekly. That means new pictures, new videos, new hot girls, new chats, and new hardcore sex every single week. Then factor in the interaction that you absolutely cannot find pirated on the internet somewhere and you’ll see why a rational man would be able to justify the $20 expense. That’s cheaper than what it would cost for one DVD or lap dance at the local strip club after your cover fee and $9 soda. Or are you saying it’s irrational to satisfy any sexual desire?

Now if you buy a monthly membership to the site it does come out to about $20 per month. But you can buy a package and get it for half the monthly amount if you know you’ll be sticking around. See, we already thought of those who might exhaust the backdated stuff. I assume the first number you threw out (17 cents being 1/118 of 27.13) was a typo because 23 cents is actually 1/118 of 27.13. You did come back down to the correct math later in your post (20.13). I don’t know how you can factor in your energy and broadband and wear and tear costs at 17 cents (my cost is higher and I don’t think I’m overpaying), but I’m not going to jump to conclusions on your rigorous math.

Anyway, hopefully with this new insight you’ll be able to recalculate and come back with a better attack.

Women: you can’t live with them, and you can’t make money selling them into white slavery. (Not at current market rates, anyway).

Other than paying for Mike South’s dinner and watching him fall down in the parking lot at Ruby Tuesdays yesterday, I have very little to do with the porn world these days. I don’t know why I’m still writing for this site…hell, I haven’t even shot a bukkake in over a year. I still read AVN and Xbiz, though, and Mike and Lisa Sparxxx were both in our wedding a few months ago, which was cool because we love them both — Lisa, as a matter of fact, shot a gangbang just this past weekend in Dayton while wearing her bridesmaids dress. There should be an AVN Award for that. (I felt sorry for Lisa’s poor husband at our wedding. He was over in the corner of the reception hall the entire night having his brain picked by this wanna-be from Lima, who showed up uninvited and then compounded the faux pas by bringing along a guest who drank our booze, ate our food, hit on my drunken strippers and didn’t even have the decency to bring me a fucking card). Harry Weiss took the time to fly out to Dayton, and we love him for it. So did Morgen Hagen from Hustler, another prince of a guy. And we still hear from Kiki Daire once a week or so, which is great, as we adore her, too and wish her nothing but happiness. Trisha Uptown drops a line or a text now and then, and so do Adara Michaels and Robert Lombard.

[And why hasn’t Lisa Sparxxx won any porn awards during her career, goddamit? This is one special lady, who obviously loves the cock, and we need someone to give her an award, already. I don’t care who — AVN, CAVR, Nightmoves, Xbiz, XRCO - hell, someone give this little Kentucky ho an award, already.]  

But, back to porn. Hell, I don’t know. Is it still even in the Valley? The business has changed, surely, obviously, as it must — Max is in jail, for god’s sake – Jenna’s pregnant – Gram Ponante is running everything now —  I remember back in 1999 when we were having lunch with Ron Jeremy in Dayton and he told Felicia not to try and break in, because the business had just gotten too ugly. And she went on to shoot her first two years being condom-only. I wonder what he tells people now, for god’s sake? I mean other than his old stand-by, “Just let me put the tip in”.

Porn. It isn’t just for breakfast anymore. Let’s start 2009 off right, shall we? Let’s have a quiz. For lack of a better title, we’ll call this the “Kayden Kross for AVN Female Performer of the Year Quiz”. I’ll keep it simple — one question only.

Q: Which do you find more morally offensive?

a. A Chicago man buying his wife a $1400 plate?

b. The asshole with the ax to grind who wants Kayden to justify why she owns her own website, even though there are naked photos of her available online somewhere for free? [Can we all respond with one big collective “Duhhhhhh…”] 

c. The Chinese woman who is thrilled to make 11 cents per day for manufacturing those $1400 plates?

d . The Dayton boy — I hesitate to call him a man —  who I threw out of my club last week because we caught him, on a slow night, taking the money right off his pregnant girlfriend’s leg and using it to buy beer and get dances from other girls?

e.  Mike South making a living by paying my strippers to get bukkake’d by 13 pale, overweight Ohio men in a hotel room on Easter sunday?

f. The feature dance agent who presumes to own you because you pay him 12%? 

g. Wal-Mart?

 There you go. Answers may be submitted to me in care of www.tittybarboss.com, and the winner gets free admission to the Flamingo Showclub for one year. Congratulations and have a great new year.

Oh, and read Howard Zinn’s “A People’s History of the United States” when you get a chance, willya?

I was in a mall on the magnificent mile in Chicago the other day and I saw something that made me cringe and shudder in the same breath. Let me paint a setting: The store to the right of me was Mont Blanc and to the left was Max Mara. Coach was above me and Louis V. and Prada were outside. I was at the time wandering through Cristophe, where scotch glasses started at 68 a piece on sale. I was mostly looking for a reason to get out of the cold because I was dressed in my warm LA clothing and it was no match for the real world. Indoor shopping was the handiest excuse.

So we were walking through this store that I would never actually give serious thought to spending money at considering we were looking at dishes. Just dishes. I don’t care. They’ll be out of style or broken faster than the cool new shoes I can get for the same price as a set. And I can write the shoes off. I need wardrobe for shoots. I don’t need crystal goblets. Especially crystal goblets that don’t even give cause for a second glance in the first place.

Here’s what made me linger in the store for a bit though: a poor downtrodden man and the woman he must have unwittingly married. “Poor” as in helpless, not lacking in funds. He obviously had the funds. She wasn’t anything great to look at and I didn’t get the feeling her personality made her hot either. Her personality was dry at best, and hinted at the possibility of an accomplished nag beneath the surface. He waited with his hands in his pockets in the corner while she shopped the catalog with the sales girl. He was only allowed to take part in the dynamic dish shopping experience when she had made her choice. He was called to her side and she happily shrieked “look honey it’s only $1400!”, to which he responded, “yes dear”, and shuffled back to his corner.

I don’t know what dish could justifiably be $1400 but I do care that I just saw an empty human vessel. There was no man left in him. Nothing. His testicles were a waste of scrotal sack. And as a woman I don’t know how wifezilla could have been sexually attracted to him. It got me thinking about whether I’d ever end up with a man like that and I decided the answer was a firm and resounding no. I suddenly saw a pattern with all of the men who have lasted in my life and the only thing they have in common is they don’t put up with any of my shit. They somehow wriggle respect out of me without trying.  Then I realized they all had incredibly large egos as well. So large in fact that sometimes I want to slap them across the face to see if it will make them reboot.

And that is why they stick around: I can’t slap them. I can’t walk on them. I can’t metaphorically neuter them in any fashion. If I slap the man I’m left with two outcomes and both end with me never seeing him again. The first is that he tells me to fuck off, which is highly likely considering I was attracted to that quality in the first place (in a reversed situation I’d tell him to fuck off too). The second is that he puts up with it. Then I have to break it off because now I too am dating a waste of scrotal sack and it’s not attractive.

Whether the means justify the end or not I think it’s a good thing. I treat the men I respect incredibly well and they return the favor. Consider this blog a solemn oath never to put an overpriced piece of kitchenware on another person’s credit card. I hold the hours they’ve spent earning that money in too much esteem and I like their balls intact.

I bet she doesn’t even cook.

I should have stuck to my guns on this one, Paul Fishbein himself told me that AVN had not been sold and I said all along that I felt at most some part of AVN had been sold, but not the magazine.

Michael Fattarosi, Porno Dan, Kevin Blatt and others worked hard to convince me otherwise.

Ultimately I learned that there was a deal to buy part of AVN (probably AVNOnline) for a ridiculously high amount of money.

But the deal was closer to something like this, Francis pitched the sale and Fish being no  fool said hey, you come up with that, we would sell…in other words Show Me The Money. I suspect Fish knew it would never happen.

So Iporn (which wasn’t really a part of the deal, but the company that funded iporn was …adultvest) anyway they started making noise about making the announcement that this part of AVN had been sold during Adult Expo or maybe Internext) BUT….

Funding fell apart as the major investor in Adultvest pulled out of the deal and they failed to make the deadline on the first payment.

So that about sums it up til next years rumors of AVNs sale start circulating.

1. In a down economy, I am much more attractive to women. I felt like Brad Pitt walking through the local “upscale” plaza mall last week while I was Christmas shopping. My advice to men looking to meet women who would ordinarily be out of their league: Walk around a mall carrying a shopping bag. Preferably a bag from Nordstrom or better.

2. I learned from an infomercial in the middle of the night that using moisturizer will dry out my face. Then on the very same channel 30 minutes later I watched another infomercial that said not using enough moisturizer will dry out my face. From there, I switched over to another infomercial and spent my monthly moisturizer budget on a ShamWow where I was promised no leftover moisture whatsoever.

3. Gene Ross doesn’t like AVN and Scott Fayner has admiration for Taylor Rain. There. I saved you some reading for next year.

4. I have been taking advantage of some planned downtime to temporarily relocate to my native northern California and use the away from LA experience to finish up some writing and put the final brainstorm on some unfinished projects. What started out as “just allowing myself to relax for a little while” has turned into a full scale Jim Morrison lost weekend. I have gained so much weight lately up here, I wouldn’t be surprised if David Chase shot a harpoon up my ass from New Jersey in attempt to cast me as an extra in his Sopranos big screener. Suffice it to say, I don’t want to be “the fat guy” walking around AEE this year. I’m skipping Vegas in favor of a treadmill and cardboard flavored Healthy Choice frozen lasagna meals.

5. There is STILL a huge hole in the porn blogosphere without the great Jimmy D.

All the best to Mike, Kayden, Goddess, and you this upcoming new year. May your vaginas stay tight and your wallets even tighter…

Malcolm Gladwell is a downright sexy man. He may not look it but it’s down there lurking, it’s hanging out somewhere deep and undetectable. He’s sexy because he keeps putting books out that draw me in like a lush to a straight shot of whiskey. I can’t get enough of him.

If you’re unfamiliar with Malcolm maybe you remember the runaway best seller “The Tipping Point”, and then the next New York Times success known as “Blink”. I’m currently working on “Outliers”. You can usually find these books on the center displays in airport shops or anywhere that sells books or coffee. He’s that good.

He’s not a mystery writer and he doesn’t put out cheap romance novels that double as porn for women. He likes to write about the real world. His primary interest is in facts, things we rarely pay attention to or take into account but should be aware of nevertheless. He’s the thinking man’s author. Or woman’s. Or pornstar’s. (I gave pornstars their own category because some men and women think they’re better than us).

So here’s what Malcolm taught me today: it takes ten thousand hours to be an expert at anything. Ten thousand hours to be at the top of your game. This applied to Mozart. It applied to Steve Jobs and Bill Gates and The Beatles and Michael Jordan. It applies to concert pianists.

Here’s what worries me: I’m not racking up my 10,000 hours in anything that will pay off by the time I’ve paid my dues. Yeah, it’s nice to be able to suck dick very well, but as a contract girl I’m not putting in hours with any type of efficiency. I do on average one movie per month, 2 scenes per movie, and only 1.5 of those scenes involve dick. Scenes take an hour. So I’m doing an hour and a half of professional dick sucking per month. 18 hours per year. I’m maybe 36 hours in. I have 9, 964 hours to go. By the time I’m an expert I’ll be dead.

And here’s another problem: I’m only getting better at making it look good on camera. Nothing about a scene is helping me make it feel better. It’s not like I’m stopping the scene every five minutes for feedback. A street hooker is going to be the best blowjob hands down. She goes for quantity. The faster she can make someone cum the more money she makes. But the more I think about it the more I think a dirty Vegas stripper would be the best blowjob. Here’s why: A street hooker is theoretically dealing with a client base who doesn’t cum all that often (because aren’t street hookers the last resort on a list of available options?) correct me if I’m wrong)). If they don’t come all that often they’re probably easier to get off. Plus, a street hooker doesn’t necessarily work constantly. She works only as often as she meets someone willing to pay her. Most likely not a straight 8 hour shift.

But a dirty vegas stripper… she’s doing an 8 hour shift if she’s good.  And she has to be very good because she has to get it done under the radar (but only go to an older one because the younger ones haven’t logged their hours yet). Plus she has a larger pool of potential clientele at her fingertips… and they aren’t going to her because she’s a last resort. They’re partying. Who knows what kind of game they have outside of the strip club.

So now that I’ve endorsed tricks in Vegas strip clubs from old dirty strippers based on simple logic let’s get back to how slowly I’m moving towards their level of expertise. I need something else to be an expert at. The only other thing I do regularly is try to look pretty for the camera but once again, by the time I’ve logged 10,000 hours I may be an expert at making the best of how I look but I won’t have the same raw material to work with. And the only other thing I do regularly (according to Mike not regularly enough) is blog. I don’t know how many hours I’ve logged blogging but if you do it a lot the book says it’s about 1,000 hours a year on average. I have 9.3 years to go.

The other thing I do really well is read. In fact, I’d go so far as to say I’m already an expert reader because I’ve definitely logged my 10,000 hours. You need to understand the extent of it–my first detention was for reading during math class. I used to read at recess. I also read during reading class but got in trouble for that too because I wouldn’t be reading the same book the rest of the class was reading because I’d already read it. I’ll read the back of a cereal box if it’s the only printed thing in the English language available.

So right now I can read and in 9.3 year’s time I can blog equally well. I must formulate a future career out of this.

I just didn’t feel like posting this in Kaydens’ Members blog so it might be that the fellow who wrote it won’t get to read my response but truth is I know a lot of people who think like he does. On the one hand he chastises the current generation because of their sense of entitlement on the other hand he proclaims how great things are with the implication that government is responsible.

Well Mr Contrarian, you can’t have it both ways.

While I would agree that we as a nation have lost our souls, we have traded everything that made  us the greatest nation on earth in exchange for those entitlements. Where do you think those people in New Orleans got the idea that the government should bail them out? Could it be because there is nothing in life that they can do that doesn’t involve government oversight? Usually on many levels. Suppose I want to get my toenails clipped, I can’t just go out and hire someone to clip my toenails, whoever does it must have a business license from the government, they have to have a cosmetology license from the government and they have to be subject to government inspection and oversight of their toenail clipping business. We traded our right to hire someone to clip our toenails based on our own qualifications of what makes a good toenail clipper in exchange for the government telling us that someone must be qualified to clip toenails so that they dont screw up the clipping of our toenails.

Yes technology has expanded our horizons and improved our lives, but it isn’t because of government, it is in spite of it.

Yes we can now travel from New York City to Los Angeles in five hours where as at some times in our past it would have taken many months. But now we have to tell the government that we are going, that’s a relatively new development but it’s an ongoing theme. Trade our freedom for a false sense of security, that’s a concept our forefathers  held in great disdain.

So you expect me to buy the “this generation is spoiled” argument when it is your ideology that spoiled them? When you give the government more authority over peoples lives they become dependent on government and this surprises you how?

I dont worry about whether I need an iphone or a blackberry, I worry about how I can stay out of jail in a society that has allowed government to make a criminal out of me if I decide I want to make a living clipping toenails. One in five Americans are incarcerated and guess what? Every one of you reading this breaks multiple laws every day. We are a nation of criminals because we have allowed our government to make criminals of us, simply so we can feel safer. And yes, Little Boots has been one pf the most egregious of the usurpers of our freedoms. This time in the name of “the war on terror”

The problem isn’t  that our lives aren’t better, our problem is that we have been too ready to lay our freedom at the feet of government in exchange for security.

The first rule of government is that bigger government is better government and no matter the government it always works to that end.  Well how much bigger can our government get? When does it collapse under it’s own bloated weight?

So Mr Member don’t bitch about the multitude of people who want the government to take care of them while at the same time advocating that government deserves, even needs the authority to have absolute control over peoples lives.  You arent a part of the solution, you are the problem.

Well I’ve bragged about having the best member base on my website before. My chat boards produce worthwhile conversation almost daily. Here’s what showed up yesterday:

“Everyone has this perception that things are worse than they’ve ever been. There is this sense of ionized, misrepresentation that we are indeed hanging by a thread and the world is going to hell and Bush is at fault and the world is downright awful.

Well, I don’t mean to be the contrarian of the group here but we (my generation) are so fucking blinded by our sense of entitlement that we forget that this is the GREATEST we’ve ever had it. Period. End of story.

Don’t believe me? Tell me how many votes Obama beat McCain by going to wikipedia.org, searching by county, drinking a milkshake while doing so with a wireless mouse over a wireless internet connection and then remember that in 1804 it took 8-11 WEEKS for news to travel across the Atlantic.

Complain about the Constitution being shredded and your rights being trampled. By all means, complain about your lack of 1st Ammendment right of dissent and how bad you’ve got it while you dial up your brand new porno video (something you couldn’t do 30 years ago).

Do you realize that for the better part of the last 2000 years the vast majority of the human population never left an area further than 100 miles? Do they realize that it was only 100 years ago when 12-year-olds were working for a dollar a day whilst living 8 to a room to help pay family bills? I read a story from a therapist on CNN (go figure) who said that teens of today are menstrating and maturing earlier now due to the increased pressures of adolescence in the new millenium. Well, I’ll be striped ass ape. Doesn’t that beat all? Yeah, teens today have it sooooo fucking rough, don’t they? Trying to decide between a Blackberry and an EnV. Boy, that sure as fuck sounds a hell of a lot tougher than my grandfather having his face blown off over Italy at the age of 19 fighting the fucking Nazis. I could see how life today is tougher on kids–especially since they have to get up at 8 and go to school for 9 monthes–compared with 80 years ago when 75% of America was agricultural and work began and ended with sun up and sun down. Life today is so much harder than the 14 year olds of the civil war who couldn’t decide between North or South.

I’m sorry but somewhere along the way we’ve completely fucked up our belief system. We can thank the baby boomers for that. We had the world at our fingertips after WWII and guess what? They squandered it. Yep. Cut and fucking dry. These people rebelled in the 1960s over well, Vietnam (which was probably a worthy rebellion), segregation (again, kudus) and……….basically the status quo. What was the status quo? It was the most prosperous time in any country’s history in the history of mankind. Basically they bitched about how rich they were. And they had kids who complained about how rich they were and well, you can see where it goes from there.

Baby Boomers ran up a deficit and sold my children’s generation off for their own comforts. Don’t believe me? Google the Austrian Pengo and then talk about deficits and hyper inflation. Do that and then decide whether or not you think we should be bailing everyone out. But that’s okay…we will endure. We can do anything we put our minds too.

I’m so sick of people with a bleak outlook on things. You make something out of nothing by claiming that nothing is something terrible. Gas prices went up!?!??! OH MY GOD!?!?! Did you happen to notice that it was only 80 years ago that half of the country didn’t even have a car? Books have only been around for plebes for 400 years.

Then there is this whining about Hurricane Katrina. A perfect microcosm of how far we’re removed from the real world and how much we expect. Everyone was whining that it took 48 hours for the gov’ment to get water to the Superdome. Let me just put this in context for you. ONE WEEK before Katrina hit, my mother was in Houston and she said, there is a huge storm coming, I am going to leave. She did. 6 Days before the storm hit I heard weathermen say, “This is going to be a terrible storm, leave now”. 5 days. 4 days. 3 days. “It’s coming, you better leave.” So finally it hit. And what happened? Everyone who stayed used it as an excuse to violate the second ammendment (the mayor took everyone’s weapons), steal, bitch, whine and complain that they didn’t get the proper warning from Bush’s FEMA. John Kennedy once said that every American ought to be able to walk 50 miles in 24 hours. You OUGHT to be that healthy. And he did it while Prez to prove the point. Now, if I do my math correctly, in 7 days, I could be 350 miles away from the storm–I could be in fucking Kentucky when that fucker hit. And I know what everyone is going to say, “These were old and sick…they couldn’t walk” Well, from the pictures I saw they looked more like, well, fat people. Fat Americans complaining about how bad they had it, no doubt it.

I saw brave American Soldiers, white and black, diving into shitty water to save 400 lb. whales. And what did they get? They were branded as bigots by Jesse Jackson because they were SAVING the black people!!! YEAH! Go figure. And, I’m sorry but, If you think that little of your body that you let it go to that extent were you are 300 lbs., call me heartless, maybe you don’t deserve to live–maybe that’s Darwinian evolution. Even if you’re old and you can only walk say, two miles a day (hell, my 90 year old grandma walks 4 a day), well, hell, you could have walked the 14 miles north to get out of the way of the storm! Why should Joe Taxpayer have to pay for your FEMA when you’re too fucking lazy to get off your ass and leave? Then there were the lovely groups raiding and robbing stores under the banner of, “We need us some Pampers”. Well, fine. Maybe you should have been ahead of the curve. Maybe you should have STOCKED UP on them before the giant fucking monster of a storm hit. Plus, I didn’t see a lot of Pampers being stolen, I saw beer, stereos and TVs being snagged. In fact, it looked a lot like Watts in 1968.

And the war in Iraq–that’s the real whopper. Here are a bunch of vocal minority entitlement, academic assholes telling us all that they were mislead and they were lied to and blah blah blah. Even representatives of Congress are complaining about how they voted! First off, I don’t see how defeating the fourth largest army in the world in under two months with under 5,000 casualties could EVER be construed as a failure but hey, I’m just an asshole, what do I know? Second, everyone has the balls, the utter fucking gall to complain about how the war is affecting them. It’s not like you’re being asked to buy war bonds for your country at a lower rate of return like your grandparents did. It’s not like you’re asked to ration your meat so that our troops can eat better. I don’t see these “We support the troops” people going door to door on scrap metal drives to help make the armored plates to help keep soldiers in Humvees safe. It’s not as if your being asked to grow your own food in a victory garden so that others on the front line may eat better. What do we complain about? Bio-Diesel? Drilling in ANWR? You tell me.

All you hear on TV is, “The planet is warming up and we’re all gonna die and…” Well, while I agree that the planet is warming, I would also say that it’s been warming more or less for the last 10,000 years–that’s what climates do, they fucking CHANGE!!!! And this also strikes at the heart of the balls we as a people have. We believe that we can harm earth. We are that arrogant. I got news for the Al Gore/Cameron Diaz/Leonardo DiCaprio’s out there–when earth gets pissed off at us, it’ll wipe us out. It won’t be tomorrow–it’ll be a few hundred thousand years from now and well, even the yoga, tai-chi, “I’m gonna live to 100″ crowd will be really busy by then.

Just the other night I was marveling at how wonderful life truely is. Think about it, especially if you’re an American. It was midnight in the middle of a giant snowstorm. I left my house–which, incidentally is about 10 times the size of my great-grandfathers farm–walked to my car, turned a key, started it and drove the 1.5 miles to grab a burger.

And then I remembered that soldiers during the Revolution couldn’t make it home for the holidays because they were camped 5 miles away.

I don’t have to worry about having an animal to slaughter to feed my family. I don’t have to worry about whether or not a warlord will rape my wife. I don’t have to worry about a king pressing me into service. The only problem I have is, “Paper or plastic?”%

Life today is nothing short of remarkable. And the notion that things are worse or terrible or whatever else you want to spin is a slap in the face to all of the generations who endured REAL problems and not only endured but gave US an easier path. And that’s the problem. You give a kid an inch and he wants a mile. That’s what we are. A bunch of whining schoolchildren complaining about the fact that we got milk when we really wanted gatorade.

Life today is beautiful. I’m sick of people who are fatter, richer and happier than they’ve ever been complaining about how bad they’ve got it and how they NEED more. Needs? Or wants. Anyone remember John Kennedy asking “Not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country?” I guess I’m pondering the same thing today.”

soprismb

Hard as a Rock

 

Posts: 866

Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:00 am

Location: Aspen, CO

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