And Goddess… If there wasn’t a “Mr. Goddess”, I would put a siren on top of my car and haul ass down south to give you what I call “the human breathalyzer test”.

Dude that is fucking genius prose…I’m serious Bukowski himself would applaud that line.

My ex and I have actually been broken up for a few months now, but I have always employed the 7 day rule when it comes to friends of ex’s in order to suppress any windshield shattering tendencies.

I was actually going to spend my next post discussing female psychology as to why women stab other women in the back over men. I recently had a situation in Las Vegas where a woman only hit on me because she thought my female friend was my wife. Sick shit. As far as me dating the ex’s best friend, I wouldn’t exactly call it “dating”. More like a satisfying a mutual curiosity type of thing. I have never understood why girlfriends insist on telling you about their friends sex lives because all it does is make you curious enough to experience them yourself. Same applies to women who can’t shut up about their own sex lives amongst their friends. There is always at least one friend (good egg) in the group who will risk breaking the friendship bond in order to take the boyfriend for a curiosity test drive.

And finally, I would be remiss in neglecting to mention the satanic euphoria that accompanies the experience of bedding a woman who is only two years removed from having to bring lunch money to school. That in itself is enough justification not to turn down an ex’s bff. Thanks Goddess…